Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Idiot daughter has dumped lovely boyfriend

333 replies

Droves · 01/01/2014 17:18

Today of all days FFs.

I'm so annoyed at her . He's lovely , nice family , supportive to her , not a rude bloke , not a waste of space just a nice respectful young man .

She's an idiot . She just wasn't getting enough excitement " he's too boring " ( read he's ran out of money and can't afford to take her out clubbing , as he bought her 6 Xmas gifts ) .

Yesterday , even though he's skint ( student ) he took her to pub for a few hours . She came home drunk , but had no money herself .

She was being vile , playing games , wanting attention . He's just left , I asked him if he's ok , he replied he will be fine , looked really upset .

Thing is daughter is in floods of tears now . Because she didn't expect him just to accept its finished so easy WTAF ? . ( He did say to begin with he didn't want to split up ) .

How did she think it ok to be so horrible ? .
I'm ashamed of her .

I'm worried she will end up with some "exciting" dickhead ( like her father ) .

Poor boyfriend , I am so hurt for him ...he's exactly who you'd wish for a son in law . Some girl will be lucky to have him , my dd is an idiot to do this .

It's heartbreaking ... All the dreams I had for them , gone . All the future grandchildren I'd been looking forward too in the distant future ...gone . Bless him , he was saving to buy her an engagement ring for when she had finished uni . Sad

Where did I go wrong with her ? .

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 02/01/2014 21:57

I envy mums who say my dd tells me everything etc. mine don't

I think mums who say that are actually fooling themselves. I bet those daughters are really only telling their mums what they want to hear.

While I want DD to keep talking to me as she gets older, I don't want her to be telling me everything, because it's not my life or my business.

ExcuseTypos · 02/01/2014 22:04

"I think mums who say that are actually fooling themselves. I bet those daughters are really only telling their mums what they want to hear."

I don't think that's true FryOne.

My DDs 23 and 20 have told me a lot more than I would ever have told my mum, and I'm glad we are very close, but I'm under no illusion that they tell me everything. I think they tell me only what they want me to knowWink

FryOneFatManic · 02/01/2014 22:17

ExcuseTypos That's probably what I wanted to say and didn't get right. I did mean that those mums are fooling themselves that their DDs tell them everything.

I know that DD talks to me quite a bit, but I also know she can keep schtum if she wants, and has done.

RedactedEdition · 03/01/2014 08:20

I consider myself fortunate to be very close to my daughters (both now in their 30's) and we have discussed any number of quite private matters over the years, but I am really very glad that they didn't share "everything" through the years.

I went grey quite soon enough, as it was, thank you!

Jinglebellsforthebetter · 03/01/2014 08:33

Whoah!

Back off! There is something slightly creepy about your investment in this relationship. She sounds like your average, self-absorbed young person. She may have mucked up here. Great! She will have learned something. I do feel a bit sorry for her though Sad "idiot daughter"?

MyBaby1day · 03/01/2014 14:41

Sounds like he was lovely, yes, she was foolish, people only realise this after they have lost someone. I know someone like this!.

EdieSedgwick · 03/01/2014 15:51

Op my Mum said something similar to me once. I have never forgiven her..(it was a few other things too). You fail to see your daughter as an individual. 19! I was only a few years older. It broke my heart as I was deeply unhappy but too scared to tell my judgemental and projecting Mum. You call your daughter an idiot and a brat? I do not speak to my Mum much now and aim to fully cut her out (as a women I can make that choice)...think very carefully. Did not read full thread. Good luck.

springysofa · 04/01/2014 10:14

We need some new fairy tales (now that older women have more power and don't toddle off into bleached oldness) along the lines of younger women shoving older women into a ditch. aka threatening to cut them off. I wonder how we'll be when our children do the same to us? But of course they won't - our parenting is too perfect in every possible way.

\some parents are toxic and there's nothing for it but to cut them off. Most parents did their best but aren't perfect and make some shitty mistakes. As, brace yourself, we will and do.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread