Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Space Invader! Was I unreasonable and over reacting?

294 replies

LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 11:53

Just really irritated and I understand that I probably may have been unreasonable and maybe I did over react. So please tell me if I was.

Currently 38+3 with our first. I am fed up, irritable, tired and just want our DD here. I normally go to the same connivance supermarket chain (one of the small shops) mid week if we need anything.

The last four/five times I have been, one of the female employees has taken it upon herself to rub my tummy whilst saying "ohhhh you are nearly there love". Angry. She comes from nowhere so every single time its been totally unexpected. Well, I snapped this time and in front of everyone by the tiles (t was busy) said "will you stop touching me. I am not public property and to be frank I am sick to the back teeth of you touching me every time I come here. Are you normally this much of a space invader. It's rude". She went bright red and wondered off looking very embarrassed.

Was I unreasonable embarrassing her in front of so many people? I wonder if everyone that saw thought I was over reacting and a bit irrational.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 11:54

Tills not tiles!

OP posts:
friday16 · 22/12/2013 11:55

connivance supermarket chain

Which is a lovely typo. They do, in fact, connive.

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 11:56

Sorry about typos. On IPhone and reactive texts does as it pleases..... Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 11:57

Predictive not reactive. Grrrrr

OP posts:
SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat · 22/12/2013 11:57

YWVU to speak as sharply as you did. A polite, "Please don't do that," would have been enough.

She was being friendly and you'd never said before that you didn't like it. She's not psychic - some people really don't mind.

How nasty to speak to her like that in front of so may people.

TwoPeasOnePod · 22/12/2013 11:57

You should have licked her on the face. See how she likes space invasion. Then shouted "PLEASE STOP TOUCHING MY DISTENDED UTERUS!!"

AlpacaPicnic · 22/12/2013 11:58

Ywnbu - unwanted physical contact of any kind would get a sharp 'fuck off' from me, so I think you were pretty polite.
You are right, you are not public property to be touched at the whim of others.

HoHoHopelessAtNamingBabies · 22/12/2013 12:01

I think the problem lies with it not being challenges the first time - she obviously thought you were fair game.

Completely understand how you're feeling though - I'm 39 weeks and hugely irritable!!

TwoPeasOnePod · 22/12/2013 12:04

Wait till the baby is born. Then all kinds of people think its ok to stroke their face, maul their hair etc. I have had Sharp Words with an otherwise nice-seeming elderly lady who stroked my DC3 on the face. In the Doctors surgery, where she was more likely to have had an infectious disease. Plus who knows when she last washed her hands. My house isn't pristine or anywhere fucking near and the kids are grubby little shits, to be poignant. But people don't have the automatic right to touch anyone I'm afraid, and politeness be fucked.

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 12:06

Yes you are rightvI should have said something first time but I was shocked that a complete stranger would think it acceptable to touch me, I just wondered out.

OP posts:
TheMaw · 22/12/2013 12:08

I think you were really rude. You've let her do it several times so she probably thought you didn't mind - or even liked her doing it! It was horrible of you to embarrass her like that, you should go in and apologise.

MammaTJ · 22/12/2013 12:08

You should have licked her on the face

That made me laugh. Me and DD1, who is 18, randomly lick each others faces. It is a bit of a contest. I know it is gross, but it keeps us amused! I could imagine doing it to anyone else though!

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 12:09

Grin # twopeaonepod for the licking of faces.....

OP posts:
TheMaw · 22/12/2013 12:10

I've just re-read that and you let her do it FOUR OR FIVE times before saying anything! So she definitely would have thought you didn't mind, and then you snapped at her in front of so many people. I bet she's absolutely mortified.

TidyDancer · 22/12/2013 12:11

You were ridiculously rude in the way you spoke to her, but you were not unreasonable to speak to her in some way. I would apologise the next time you see her, but explain your reaction.

tethersend · 22/12/2013 12:11

Two peas- you seriously had Sharp Words with a woman who stroked your baby's face?

Wow. Am I the only one who wouldn't have batted an eyelid?

Just to be clear, she stroked and not slapped?

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 12:12

TheMaw I won't appologise because i do think its rude to randomly touch preganat women you dont know without their permission. Its not that I have let her do it. She just comes from no where and does it unexpectedly when I am minding my own business. But I recognise I should have challenged her prior to today.

OP posts:
tethersend · 22/12/2013 12:13

Oh yes, OP, you were very rude. I understand why, but don't let it get to boiling point next time, eh? Very upsetting for the poor woman...

TheMaw · 22/12/2013 12:15

So the first four or five times she did it, she appeared from nowhere, rubbed your bump and disappeared before you could say anything? Is she the tango man?

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 12:15

I will most certainly say something first time next time.

I am surprised though that anyone would think its alright to just touch someone they don't know. Confused. Why would they think its alright in the first place. I would never dream of doing that.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 22/12/2013 12:17

You really should apologise, but with an explanation. What you did was not okay, you must see that. You trained her to believe what she was doing was okay, then suddenly snapped. It was in no way her fault.

As for TwoPeas, that poor lady. Did you say sorry?

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 12:17

TheMaw. Yes, every time I have been at self checkout and she comes from behind or the side and does it and then off she goes. It is a bit random and strange actually.

OP posts:
TheMaw · 22/12/2013 12:21

That does sound strange, she must move like lightening. I didn't like people touching my bump either, so I did this incredible thing of politely saying 'sorry, I don't really like people touching my bump' and funnily enough, never had to humiliate anyone in front of a crowd of people. You should apologise to her.

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 12:24

I recognise that maybe I should not have been so forth right about what I was actually thinking and been more diplomatic. Next time I shall try and be less straight forward and be a little more diplomatic. I do think though that she does need to learn its not on to randomly touch people..

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 22/12/2013 12:26

As everyone else has said, you were very rude.

She shouldn't have done it the first time, but as you apparently 'permitted' it, she felt okay to continue. And no doubt there was no malice behind it.

And in answer to your question: 'Was I unreasonable embarrassing her in front of so many people? I wonder if everyone that saw thought I was over reacting and a bit irrational.' - Yes

She'll feel awful the next time she spots you in there.

Swipe left for the next trending thread