to be jealous of my friend having DC3? they can only afford it as they are in a council house! She doesn't even work.

[LifeIsNotFair]

DH and I are 30. have one dc who is 5. And I want another one so badly ....We live in a 2 bed private rent and pay £650 a month. DH earns OK money and I work part time, just one day a week atm, am tryng to get more hours but no joy. It it is not quite enough to get a mortgage and even if it was we have nothing spare to save for a deposit.

My BF is also 3O. She has a DS, 8, with her ex. Her ex was violent and it got worse when her ds was born. she left him when when her DS was a baby, and they ended up in a B&B while they were found accomodation. She was given a 2 bed HA house. When her DS was about 2 she met her now DH, who is lovely. He took on her DS as his own, then they quickly had a DC together (her DC2) and got married. A couple of years ago they managed to get a swap to a 3 bed council house. She is now ready to have DC3 any day.

BF's DH earns similar to my DH (about 28k). The difference is their rent is about half what we pay, so they are able to afford dc3 without too many worries. They have done their house up as it was in quite a bad state when they moved in. But it is gorgeous now as her DH is handy with DIY, new kitchen, new carpets and wood floors everywhere, nice tidy garden. we can't do anything like that to ours, there's no point as we don't know how long we will get to stay here, plus we can't afford it anyway as no spare cash. They have a car each and she does not work, she wants to when the DCS are bigger but atm she really doesn't need to. The DCS have whatever they like. They are also saving for a deposit to buy it as they have right to buy. We are in the North btw so 28k is ok money where we are.

I freely admit I am jealous as hell :( but I feel bad that I feel like that. as she really is lovely, and I love her to bits. And I know she got where she is via shitty circumstances but my god has she landed on her feet now.

Poor OP.Some people are so quick to judge aren't they.Jealousy is a common human emotion and I can't believe so many people don't understand it.

I sympathize OP. I live in a council block (but have a mortgage) and one of the council tenants told me how much rent she paid. It is 5% the cost of my mortgage, for living in exactly the same place!

Noideaatall - you can't compare that - you're buying the flat!

Spot on Custardo

Marylou2. I understand jealousy and it is a common human emotion. But as a friend, sorry..I wouldnt envy in the detailed way the OP has. So I dont actually think 'poor OP'. Id hate to think a friend thought that way about me. If you had to spend time being jealous of everyone you deem to be more fortunate than you, you'd spend a whole lot of time feeling jealous, which would be a blight in itself anyway so perhaps its a case of, you get what you give out in this life.

How on earth do so many people know how much rent their friends pay..have time to spend looking over other people's fence they pay more/less than me, Ive got a mortgage theyve got a council flat theyre better of than me..they earn this or that, theyre better of than me...

It just sounds like truly horrible spiteful envy. Which of course it is, even if 100 ways are sought to justify it. I imagine such people afflicted by this as the kind who will talk and smile nicely with friends, but in their heart hold malice against said friend. Distasteful.

The government has done a good job on people..created a model of chaose thats got some envying, scorning & bickering with/about other people whilst being shat on from a great height by those who have more than you'll ever have because theyre fleecing you, whilst you waste time wanting to pull down anyone who dares to be doing a bit better than you are, and the government connive to make sure you see less of your hardearned money. Its a pile of rubbish really..but Mumsnet is becoming more & more full of the envious S/he he's got more than me threads so...roll on next week, there'll be another..and another the week after that..and so on. Its like reading a condensed version of the Daily Mail online.

bullshit MistressDeeCee

mn is full of envious posts because people need somewhere to vent their frustration and anger

once they have done that, hope fully then they can vote acordingly at the next election

but to be scathing about people suffering the brunt of this gov's ways is unfair and nasty

I don't think it's fair to call the op an are. She isn't saying she wished her friend didn't wasn't fortunate enough to be given a 3 bed house and a superduper 'diy'er hubby who has converted it into a palace. I think she'd just like some luck like that.*

The "luck" her friend had to get on the housing list was to have be beaten up and thrown on the streets with young baby.......

Can you really not see that even if you're horrid enough to think it, that just isn't the sort of thing one should be saying out loud?

It'd be like me being jealous of the mum at school whose son has a profound and life-limiting disability because they get more money and a people carrier?

It's an awful, awful way to think.

ssd the day I'll be scathing & nasty is when I smile in a mate's face,then go on the internet creating a thread about my envy of her & her life. Especially when she's been through DV. It'll never happen. If I were that way inclined - which I never will be - I wouldn't be sitting on my arse on the internet moaning - which doesn't pay a wage - I'd have got off my arse to work hard, more hours, so as to emulate what my mate has if its so important to me. Otherwise...its all bullshit isn't it?

Also OPs friend does work - she spends her days with 3 DCs so that certainly counts as work, to me. This is a place to "vent frustration & anger". Oh really? Against a good mate who'd had a terrible time then managed to find happiness? There is actually some female solidarity and empathy around here you know. Best thing about Mumsnet

OP can feel how she feels but this is definetely as case where its best to keep your mouth shut. Build up, and get on with life