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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to the work Christmas party and leave my pfb?

198 replies

BocaDeTrucha · 12/12/2013 10:55

At my weekly breastfeeding group yesterday, I mentioned going to my works Christmas dinner. It felt like a tumbleweed moment and was meet by a barrage of "oh I couldn't leave xxx for that long", "I'm just not ready yet" etc etc. Ds is 12 weeks and bf with the exception of one bottle before bed which dp always gives him. I left him alone with dp when he was just 3 weeks to go shopping and to have a bit of space and left dp with bottles of expressed milk just in case.

I know each parent is different but am I really doing something so wrong leaving my pfb for 3-4 hours and should I be feeling more attached?

OP posts:
absentmindeddooooodles · 12/12/2013 10:58

Good god go ou5 and have a couple of hours off.

I know everyone has different opinions on this and that is fair enough. It really is a case of each to their own!

I would have.....if I could have. Ds fed every hour and refused to tske a bottle so was on house arrest for bloody months. Haha.

Go amd have a really lovely time. Then go home and have xuddles with your scrummy baby :)

formerbabe · 12/12/2013 10:59

Oh god...I can't stand those types of mothers who look at you in horror because god forbid you can step away from your child for ten minutes! Its like a competition...who can be the biggest martyr?! Go out for the night and enjoy yourself!

SomethingkindaOod · 12/12/2013 11:00

YANBU go and enjoy!

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 12/12/2013 11:03

Yanbu.

I imagine the other mums have babies like my bottle refuser.

It is hard to imagine different situations when you are inthe midst of sleepless nights, feeding on demand and adjusting to a newborn.

Personally I couldn't and wouldn't have wanted to leave ds at that age but I appreciate that that is my situation and everyone is different.

LittleBabySqueakSqueak · 12/12/2013 11:03

Go for it! I sometimes feel that there must be something wrong with me because I'm very happy to leave DD with her dad or either of her grandmas for short periods when I need both hands and a clear head. I think I'm just lucky to have people I trust to take care of her.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/12/2013 11:03

Oh ffs go. :)

I don't understand this need to be constantly constantly with your baby. It's four hours they won't spontaneously combust :o

Trooperslane · 12/12/2013 11:04

What the others said.

You deserve some normal adult time too. And Daddy also needs some baby time as well. Smile

Kyrptonite · 12/12/2013 11:04

Go out. I'm leaving my 13 week old with my mum tomorrow night so I can go on mine Grin

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/12/2013 11:05

There is that too. I mean he's not being left is he. He's with his dad. Dads are parents are they not? Needs are being fulfilled what's the problem :o

AngryFeet · 12/12/2013 11:06

GO! Don't even think about it. If he takes the bottle you should have no remorse. I couldn't get either of my 2 to take a bottle and it made me feel quite isolated that I could never get away. DH actually took DD up to London in the car and sat in the carpark with her sleeping so I could have a few hours at my work xmas do. I just popped out and fed her then popped back in for a few more drinks. She was 12 weeks at the time.

DO IT. Sod those martyrs.

JessicaMLH · 12/12/2013 11:06

I couldn't have done it with my pfb as I was soooo overly attached to her, but dd2 is nearly 5mo and I've left her with grandparents lots of times, sometimes for nearly a whole day as we were moving home. If you feel
you can go out for a few hours then good for you, I wish I hadn't been so stressed and worried about leaving my dd1, it doesn't make you a better mother because you're with your baby 24/7 with no break!

whatsagoodusername · 12/12/2013 11:06

Go and enjoy!!! It's good for both you and your DP for him to have sole responsibility for awhile Grin

mistermakersgloopyglue · 12/12/2013 11:08

FFS some people are such martyrs. Go and have a lovely time!

WhereIsMyHat · 12/12/2013 11:08

Go out and have a wonderful time. Mine were all BF and left for me to have a night out at around 6 weeks, I must be a terrible mother!

UC · 12/12/2013 11:08

Go out. I left my pfb with my parents at 6 weeks so then DH and I could go out. We also left him with them for a week at 18 months to go on holiday on a different continent. He's nearly 10 now and I can't see any adverse effects....

Essexgirlupnorth · 12/12/2013 11:08

YANBU

We are going to hubby's Christmas do on Saturday and leaving dd with MIL. She is 10 weeks and bottle fed as breastfeeding didn't work out for us.

One of my friends didn't leave her second till he was 9 months but he was a bottle refuser. Though I get the impression she wouldn't have left him anyway.

Original poster
BocaDeTrucha · 12/12/2013 11:14

Right, that's my momentary guilt feelings out the window!!! I do regularly leave him with dp for the odd hour or two and I actually think he is better with ds than I am most of the time, definitely calmer. Also I go back to work mid Jan so the sooner everyone gets used to it the better (only 18 weeks maternity leave where I live).

Now, to the shops for something to wear!!

OP posts:
LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 12/12/2013 11:16

Definitely go, 3-4 hours? Stuff the tumbleweed moment. Have a good time.

Anydrinkwilldo · 12/12/2013 11:42

GO! Eat drink and be merry Xmas Wink

treas · 12/12/2013 11:51

Go, Go, GO! You'll have the well adjusted, independent child whilst they'll end up with children that cling to their skirts 24/7 - it won't be like that but if there was any justice in the worldGrin

shoofly · 12/12/2013 11:58

Go go go! Don't even think about it. I couldn't with ds1 who was a bottle refusing boob monster who seemed to live under my shirt for 6 months. Ds2 was easier. If other people say they can't they are probably quite jealous that you can go out! I know I would have been Grin

mrsjay · 12/12/2013 11:58

go to the party have fun although be careful what you drink i got hammered very quickly when i first went out after dd1 Blush she was about 4 months old, meh these mums are just projecting there is nothing wrong with putting baby down and going out

Cookethenook · 12/12/2013 12:00

Go! And have a great time and i lovely long cuddle with your baby when you get back :)
My NCT group had a night out at about 12 weeks. It did us all some good and leaving the babies for 4 hours did no harm to them whatsoever!

Spaulding · 12/12/2013 12:00

Go out and have a great time. It's a few hours. I left DS at home when he was a few months old so I could go shopping for a few hours. I thought about him the whole time but it was bloody good being able to look around the shops and try things on for a few hours without manoeuvring a pram or stopping to feed etc. Enjoy yourself! I cried the first time DS went to stay with my parents for the night at 8 months old. He's almost 3 and has stayed there lots of times. Sometimes it's just nice to go out on the rare occasion and be me and not just mummy for a few hours!

I know someone who's DD is 2 and she won't leave her alone, even with her DP (father of her DD!) I spend 90% of my time with DS but sometimes it's good to have time apart!

Lj8893 · 12/12/2013 12:05

I went out for a couple of hours when dd was 4 weeks old and left her with my mum.
I'm going for a proper night out tomorrow, she will be with her dad (my dp) and she's 7 weeks.

Obviously each to thier own but if you want to go out, go out!!