to go to the work Christmas party and leave my pfb?

[BocaDeTrucha]

At my weekly breastfeeding group yesterday, I mentioned going to my works Christmas dinner. It felt like a tumbleweed moment and was meet by a barrage of "oh I couldn't leave xxx for that long", "I'm just not ready yet" etc etc. Ds is 12 weeks and bf with the exception of one bottle before bed which dp always gives him. I left him alone with dp when he was just 3 weeks to go shopping and to have a bit of space and left dp with bottles of expressed milk just in case.

I know each parent is different but am I really doing something so wrong leaving my pfb for 3-4 hours and should I be feeling more attached?

Ummmm, my DD is 12 weeks old and is being left OVERNIGHT with my mum tomorrow so that DP and I can go to my work Xmas do and have some us time and a lie in the next morning.

Didn't even occur to me that it's something I shouldn't do!

I think it is incredibly insulting to fathers to assume that only a mother can take care of their own child.

Unfortunately, as brilliant a dad as my DH is, his lactating skills just aren't all that.

pepp - unless you are incredibly unlucky most babies can be left with an alternative - what happens if a breast feeding mum is rushed to hospital or dies. ? I breast fed, but as I said earlier, I was able to leave my baby for at least a couple of hours. Do some babies really breast feed 24/7? .

Ha yep ragwort mine did! Untill i switched to formula

Mine too! Literally 24/7. She even refuses to sleep unless my boob is in her mouth. I had really bad gastric flu a few weeks ago and DH managed to get her to sleep walking round with her in the sling til 6am, and we desperately tried to get her to drink from something that wasn't me, but she was having none of it...

Ragwort - Well, if a breastfeeding mum is taken into hospital or dies then there's no alternative is there? The baby would have to be fed in another way and would take a bottle eventually because they would have no choice. They would probably get seriously distressed before that happens though.

I'm not saying people shouldn't go out (I would have done myself if mine had taken a bottle), but we have to be mindful that there are babies who can't be left and that doesn't make their mothers martyrs or any of the other nasty names being bandied around on this thread.

I end a 12wk old who isn't very keen on bottles and I often leave him with dh for 1-2hrs just after a feed.
To be honest if bf had meant I couldn't do that I would probably have switched to ff by now.
I sometimes worry that it means I'm not truly "bf on demand" but as 99% of the time he goes 2hrsbetween feeds when I'm with him there's no reason to think he won't if I'm not.

Ebf not end!!!!

My ds is also 12 weeks and dh and I are going on my works Christmas do tomorrow while my mum looks after ds. He is mainly breast fed and has 1 formula bottle a day now so happily takes a bottle and I'll leave expressed milk for him tomorrow. I don't understand why you wouldn't go, it'll do you the world of good, and doesn't mean you're a bad mum in the slightest. Hope you have a lovely time.

My DD1 went overnight to my parents at 3 weeks old so me and exDH could have a night out (anniversary). I ended up falling asleep and staying asleep all night though
Then she went every weekend from there on for a couple of years! It was something I needed, and my parents loved the time with her as did she!

Just go, you can always come home if you want to. Have fun!

YANBU - just tell them that you'll find another fire to throw your martyred self on

Totally get what you're saying tailtwister re not being able to leave bf-ing child if it is a constant feeder, but the OP said the ladies at the group had said they 'weren't ready to leave their children yet' - which inplies they are being a bit judgey envious at OP actually having a life which is bigger than just her pfb.

*implies (sorry!)

You're not leaving him in a cardboard box in the rain, you're leaving him with his Dad! So no guilt required and you'll be a better mum for having had a break

You should definitely go and enjoy yourself. A bit of advice though and buy a top that will grow with you as the night progresses oh and slip some spare breast pads in your handbag... I learned the hard way... Have fun

I must be a very bad mummy, i was going to go to friends birthday party when ds was 4 weeks old, it got cancelled! I went ti the odd night out from6 weeks!!

Baby will pribably skeep mist if the time

I feel so sorry for some men. The mother gets time alone and he doesn't. They are equal parents and they can cope! Go and enjoy it.

I was back at work when my pfb was 12 weeks old!
And yes they were exclusively fed bm for the first 5 months and I carried on bf for over a year.

Go- there are no medals for being a martyr mummy. Your DH will be fine with his child. You'll enjoy yourself. Your baby will probably sleep anyway

Well, maye them mothers dont feel as confident in their DH's, routines, of bf to leave their baby's and you do GO!

12 weeks! god yes go!

I love threads like this.

Well I left my 2 day old baby for a month with a random woman off the street so I could watch paint dry. Does that mean I trump you all?

Go if you want to go. Don't go if you don't want to go. Meh. Don't judge people who don't want to leave their babies. Or are you allowed to all judge the 'martyrs' just not the other way around?

I wouldn't have but wouldn't judge others for doing so.

God of course go the babies 3 months for god sake.

I don't think it is all about being a martyr, I knew my ds would be ok with dp for short periods of time but I needed to be close to him, it felt like a really basic instinct. Logically I knew that my baby would be fine if dp took him out for a walk but it was me who would not be fine. Selfish yes, overprotective yes, but I don't think you can describe it as being a martyr.

Oii!! I didn't judge anyone!

Have a great time OP!