not to share substantial present with DH?

[mintspies]

Ok, a bit of context. DH and I have finally after a number of years of struggling decided that we do not want to share a room with eachother, let alone a bed. It's been a long journey - and we both now realise after lots of unsatisfactory nights of waking eachother up (he pees three times a night, i snore etc etc) that we would rather have our intimate cuddles in a bed that one of us then leaves to sleep elsewhere. i know quite a few people think this is really weird, but it seems to work well for us.
The big issue that i am now posting about that has spurred this final decision (to realise we are never going to share a bed/ room) is that my mum has just offered to buy us a bed and is giving us (well, me) 1,500 pounds to buy a lovely bed, as she has just come into some money. I have been sleeping on a really awful mattress on the floor for years now and have lower back problems which are being made worse. As we have now made our final decision that we do not want to share a bed ever really, dh thinks that the money should be shared between two new beds (one for his room and one for mine), if we are not going to buy one that we are going to share.

Frankly, I am gutted not to buy the bed I want with the money my mum wants to give me.

Am i being unreasonable to say no, I dont want to share the money for the bed and buy two not very nice beds?

My mum has made it really clear that she is only giving me the money for one decent bed as she it is real thing for her that I havent ever sorted out a decent bed for me/ us.

Additionally, which i think is fuelling my chagrin, is that my dh has given up a well paying job to be a student for a few years, which I am happy to support and so i am the main earner, but i really do think - well, if you want a bed, get a part time job, which he could do, instead of making me make yet another sacrifice.

Am I being Unreasonable?

thanks two beds. i appreciate your sentiments. still appreciating all of the comments, have told dh about the thread and all the responses on it! it has opened up a very positive conversatino between us where he can see that i am seeing it from all angles, and he is being given a chance to as well.
thanking you.
he has also said he will go to the doctors which is good : )

forget the beds, the fact that he will go to doctors on the back of nagging from the nest of vipers counts as a win :o

i must say though about the 'first world problems' comment from one poster - really irritating

haha bogeyface, exactly : )

Hope all is well when he goes to the doctors, OP! :)

Ha! DH (he of the king-size expensive comfy bed) says you should absolutely prioritise your bed because, as he says, it's not as though your DH would be any worse off just because you have a super-comfy bed.

DH is also surprised at the people who say they couldn't enjoy sleeping in an expensive bed whilst their OH sleeps in another room in a crap bed. It's not a problem he has.

cheers twobeds DH! I think we are about resolved; we are going to split it 1000 / 500 with a few hundred extra on the 500 from a bit of saving and some xmas present money from his family. looks like we can get a decent queen size for him and a decent bigger bed for my room taht will support my back. mum says she is happy if we (i think she means me!) are happy.

so alls well that ends well.
thanks for the help : )

Just come back to this - so glad you've reached a good end for everyone!

I just love a happy ending :)

OP has a bad back.
OP DH doesn't.
OP supports DH regardless of bad back.
OP DH studies - does not have a job.
OP DH has a BED.
OP has a MATTRESS.

OP, buy the bed. Preferably a £1500 bed. Enjoy.
YANBU and Merry Christmas.

Glad you've reached your happy outcome though.

Thanks fortydoor.

Finally however, I have reported posts which are personally attacking, hurtful and vitriolic on this thread. Deeply unpleasant.

I do appreciate the well wishes, sorry admiral x posted there, and really appreciate the support - thats the best of mumsnet.

Him agreeing to see GP is the best result!

We are in separate rooms. I'm in the more expensive bed. He snores. He says I do! We sleep much better apart. The only reason I have th better bed is that I had a lovely sleigh bed frame but crap base and mattress which was killing my back. He has a reasonable £500 in sale John Lewis bed. When we decided to gt a new bed for me I suggested getting one for him but he said he was fine. We compromised by getting him a better mattress. Which he now says isn't as comfortable as the cheap one!

Phew Excellent outcome, on both fronts. Well done, you two!

Result and honest.

He could get a comfortable enough single bed for £300 - and you'd get something very comfortable for £1200 - think you are being a bit selfish not to share.

Think you should both go to GP to discuss - peeing 3 times a night could be sign of something wrong.

I say offer to share only if he gets peeing looked into by GP in that case.

YABU simple