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AIBU?

Text, wife not impressed??

272 replies

SheldonsLeftFlipFlop · 01/12/2013 20:41

I have an acquaintance / mate who I know via work. We've been on nights out in small groups and enjoy a laugh and joke.

A while back, we were talking about tattoos and I mentioned one that I was planning on my ankle. He said he really likes feminine ankle and foot tattoos. I'd said I wasn't 100% on getting it there and he kind of tried to talk me into it.

Anyway, I had said tattoo but at the bottom of my leg, slightly brushing my ankle. I sent him a picture of it with a jokey line and thought no more of it. I then got a reply ages later saying his wife wasn't impressed. I genuinely had no idea what he was on about, so just replied sorry?? He then text me this afternoon saying his wife had calmed down, but she thought it was inappropriate.

I honestly would never have thought I was crossing any boundaries by sending what I did. And we do text from time to time. But generally quite run of the mill stuff really. I'm a little bit annoyed that a picture of my ankle is being interpreted as anything untoward too.

He'll ring me tomorrow, so would I be unreasonable to say that I don't really want any part in his relationship issues, and nor am I comfortable with our friendship being treated by him as a secret (which I'm now assuming has been the case)?

OP posts:

Report

FluffyJumper · 01/12/2013 21:44

It reads to me that he has a bit of a 'thing' for foot tattoos though, and his wife will know this. It's not your fault that she's misunderstood, but it's probably not unreasonable of her either.

SybilRamkin · 01/12/2013 21:46

Blimey, can't believe the posters who say they'd have a problem with this kind of thing - your poor DH/DPs! FFS, the woman sent a photo of a tattoo on her ankle, not her bloody fanjo or arse - there's no need to get hysterical about it.

OP, clearly your work colleague and his wife have issues, be polite but state firmly that you're not interested in hearing about them.

TheAlyssWithTheMewlingQuim · 01/12/2013 21:46

I have a tattoo on my hip, and because it's my son's name and dob I haven't put it on Facebook. My partner's best friend wanted to see it, so I quickly took a photo and emailed it to him. When I checked it later, I realised that I had sent him a pic of my tattoo... With some pubic hair in the picture too! His wife and my partner both thought that this was hilarious though.

IneedAsockamnesty · 01/12/2013 21:48

In all fairness I once saw a davidoff cool water advert and nt ny did it make me buy some for my husband but it dd make me want to get naked.

Granted it was a chest that did it but it coud have been an ankle

HildaOgden · 01/12/2013 21:50

If you're the only woman (or one of just a few) in a large group of men,at least one of the wives will be insecure enough (whether with reason,or not) to suspect her husband of being up to no good.

Looks like you found that wife!

AuntieStella · 01/12/2013 21:50

I think he's using his wife as an excuse - he's letting you down in a way he sees as gently. The message is that you've crossed a line and he's not interested.

In your shoes, I wouldn't now send him any texts unless they were 100% work or a group message.

Monetbyhimself · 01/12/2013 21:52

Sybil the only person who is sounding slightly hysterical is yourself.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 01/12/2013 21:52

Take a picture of your DH ankle and send it to the wronged wife.

Maybe it will alleviate her fears?

I think it has not to do with your ankle.

I bet your colleague has cheated in the past and her radar is beeping.

HildaOgden · 01/12/2013 21:52

,,,plus,if you know he has a thing for feet/ankle tattoos...you can be sure his wife does too.So it would definitely have triggered her a bit,I think. Probably wouldn't have mattered if it was on your arm.

Jellytotsforme · 01/12/2013 21:52

I have lots of male friends as does dh. I think though I would find this odd if I came across it

gobbynorthernbird · 01/12/2013 22:01

I would think that text was flirty. I know there's the 'it's only your ankle' POV, but if a colleague of my OH sent him a pic of their hair that was freshly bleached, knowing he likes blondes, with a message that could read 'look what I did for you' I would go spare.

sooperdooper · 01/12/2013 22:01

I'm really surprised that some people see this as inappropriate! I wouldn't have an issue with this at all if someone sent DH a pic of a tattop and if I had a tattoo and had been chatting about with with a work friend I wouldn't think twice about sending it, its not like its on your boobs!!

I think they must have some kind of other issues for her to feel so threatened by this, it's all a bit odd IMO

SheldonsLeftFlipFlop · 01/12/2013 22:01

Well I don't really know if he's cheated in the past, not really my business! Not sure really what he'd be letting me down gently on as I have no interest in him whatsoever other than as a mate, and that has been a reciprocal thing.

I don't know if he does or doesn't have a foot fetish. We were talking about tattoos in general, I mentioned the oneb I was planning and the fact that I was undecided on location, one option was my foot and he then said he thinks feminine foot tattoos look really good, and tried to sway me towards it.

Yes I am the only woman in a group of friends, but that is solely due to our work situation

OP posts:

Casmama · 01/12/2013 22:02

I think it is less about the picture and more about the fact that you felt it was important he know that you had a tattoo done and see a picture of it. It may imply a certain closeness she is uncomfortable with- could it not have waited until the next time you saw him?
It seems a little odd to me but can't really say why- flirtatious or attention seeking maybe.

sooperdooper · 01/12/2013 22:02

I think the letting down gently theory is daft

SheldonsLeftFlipFlop · 01/12/2013 22:04

But the point of the text was that I didn't get it on my foot / ankle, I got it at the bottom of my leg, just brushing on the top of the bone

OP posts:

ENormaSnob · 01/12/2013 22:04

It all sounds flirty to me tbh

Herhonesty · 01/12/2013 22:04

hmm. well i think it does cross a bit of a boundary to be honest. poss you were a bit naive. but to be honest, its their problem, not yours so i wouldn't worry about it.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 01/12/2013 22:06

I would place you as an attention seeker, tbh

I would be pissed off too if my H were to encourage you in that where he was concerned

it's like you were the first person in the world to get a tattoo

perhaps focus more on your work, and less on looking for validation from your colleagues in what is actually rather a mundane life choice ?

Bradsplit · 01/12/2013 22:06

Lol at ankle.

Christ how Victorian some women are

SheldonsLeftFlipFlop · 01/12/2013 22:07

Well yes of course there's an element of wanting to show it off. I think it would be something people would post on facebook and nobody would flinch. I don't have facebook, so just send anything that I want to show off like that in a message

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 01/12/2013 22:08

with a message that could read 'look what I did for you' I would go spare.

If she chooses to read it that way it's her issue, not the OPs, what was she doing reading his messages anyway? If she was snooping she wanted to find something to accuse him of, so was likely to read something into whatever was there, which is exactly what she's done

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SheldonsLeftFlipFlop · 01/12/2013 22:09

First person in the world to get a tattoo???

Erm not quite. I already had a few. But then does everybody have to have been the first person to do or achieve something in order to be proud of it and want to show it off??

OP posts:

Preciousbane · 01/12/2013 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catgirl1976 · 01/12/2013 22:10

My DH once saw another womans ankle in Sainsburys. Her petticoat was lifted in an errant spring breeze

We went for counselling though and got through it in the end.

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