Text, wife not impressed??

[SheldonsLeftFlipFlop]

I have an acquaintance / mate who I know via work. We've been on nights out in small groups and enjoy a laugh and joke.

A while back, we were talking about tattoos and I mentioned one that I was planning on my ankle. He said he really likes feminine ankle and foot tattoos. I'd said I wasn't 100% on getting it there and he kind of tried to talk me into it.

Anyway, I had said tattoo but at the bottom of my leg, slightly brushing my ankle. I sent him a picture of it with a jokey line and thought no more of it. I then got a reply ages later saying his wife wasn't impressed. I genuinely had no idea what he was on about, so just replied sorry?? He then text me this afternoon saying his wife had calmed down, but she thought it was inappropriate.

I honestly would never have thought I was crossing any boundaries by sending what I did. And we do text from time to time. But generally quite run of the mill stuff really. I'm a little bit annoyed that a picture of my ankle is being interpreted as anything untoward too.

He'll ring me tomorrow, so would I be unreasonable to say that I don't really want any part in his relationship issues, and nor am I comfortable with our friendship being treated by him as a secret (which I'm now assuming has been the case)?

[Mattissy]

I wouldn't think anything of it and certainly wouldn't go mad, but I'm very laid back and don't suffer with jealousy at all. I do know I'm in the minority though as IME most women are quite jealous or insecure. I think maybe it's a lesson learnt and you should back off.

[flaire]

I must confess if a female collegue of my husband sent a picture of her ankle and tattoo to my husband I would say 'oooh, that's nice' if it was nice or 'nasty' if otherwise.

Of course, the gentleman in question might have a really, really, Y-Front ripping fetish for women's ankle tattoos and then I could imagine his wife being a little 'concerned'. Or if he's played away from home in the past and sending pictures was an element of his errant ways...then....

However, none of them have anything to do with you. Grab yourself a halo and polish it. His missus is being unreasonable.

[DownstairsMixUp]

Uhh it really depends on how their relationship is but you weren't to know. My DP is friends with a heavily tattooed girl, we both like tattoos ourselves and DP does love a tattooed woman, she sent him a photo of her new tattoo on her shoulder asking what he thought, can't say I was jealous or thought anything of it tbh?! Though i do talk to her to i suppose. I don't think you did anything wrong though I can see how everyone has different boundaries etc so perhaps now you know, you'll know not to send such texts anymore!

[kslatts]

Her reaction does seem odd, I think either there are other issues in their relationship or she is just very jealous.

[Floggingmolly]

he kind of tried to talk me into it. Why was he so involved?
Maybe he has form for inappropriate behaviour, and his wife thought something similar might be beginning again?

[Zucker]

Maybe he also talked his wife into getting a tattoo in the same place as he finds its so attractive. I don't think anything you have done though OP is over the top but there could be some back story you're missing.

[Cabrinha]

Possibly he hasn't kept you a "secret" - more that you're a fairly unimportant work friend (not outside work friend) and he doesn't bore her about work colleague chats, which whilst great fun in the office, are pretty dull reported at home?

I text mail friends /work friends loads. Married ones, even. Tbh, I think ":P" can be vaguely flirty. I only use that with my boyfriend! But each to their own.

You have no idea of the backstory. But I'd stop texting him. Not cos of his wife, but cos of him - if I were the wife, I'd be more pissed off at him texting you twice after and promising to call. If I was upset by my husband receiving that text, I'd be doubly upset that he was busy telling the sender news of my calming down. A time at which he should focus on her, I think.

You did nothing wrong, but he may be a nob.

[minouminou]

As soon as I read the bit about his plan to call you I thought he's creating a drama out of nothing. He's enjoying this.

Nice, short, neutral text to say no offence meant, then back away from this one.

[Retroformica]

I wouldn't put it the way you plan to. Id say 'is it illegal to show a photo of my fantastic new tattoo to a friend? Its only an ankle! I've already sent the photo to x and x and thought you'd like to see it too'

[LilyAmaryllis]

Just imagine his wife posting on MN:

• There are loads of texts on DH's phone to and from a female colleague of his. He texts her at the weekends. Should I be worried?

• Oh no, I've seen a text and its not even about work, its about a tattoo and its an in-joke! Perhaps there's more going on than he's admitting!

Plausible interpretations from DW I'd say.

Step well away, OP

[Pancakeflipper]

Was it obvious it was your ankle in the photo?
I know I have problems not being able to work out what part of the body is what with tat's and photos. Took me ages to suss out Cheryl Coles rosey rear.

[LapsedPacifist]

On what planet is sending photos of your body parts to your work colleagues acceptable just because said parts have 'artwork' inked on them? What are the acceptable boundaries? Tattooed thigh, tattooed arse, tattooed tits?

[chipshop]

I wouldn't be bothered if this was DP. But people have different ideas of what's acceptable, some are more jealous/insecure than others. And you don't know what else has gone on in their relationship.

[Aussiemum78]

I would find that text odd. It sounds like you are an over sharer...why text 20 people including work colleagues?

[GhettoPrincess001]

He finds feminine ankle tattoos sexy and you send him a photo of your feminine ankle tattoo and wonder why his wife goes spare ?

Are you for real ?

Phone photos are a lot more secret er, I mean private and a lot more recent.

[CeQueLEnfer]

I agree with GhettoPrincess001. I think you were misguided to send it. However, we all make stupid mistakes, so apologise and move on.

[womma]

I think your textee is enjoying making a little drama out if this OP. As neutral as a response as possible from you, and leave him to it. Sounds like he likes trying to make his wife feel jealous and he's using your text to do it.

It's not your problem.

[MrRected]

I have no problem with texting friends. I always draw the line at work colleagues though, even if I consider them friends.

I would send a picture of a tattoo on my foot (if I had one) to a male friend and wouldn't think that at all strange. I most certainly would not send one to a colleague, just because I think that's overstepping a professional boundary and to be frank is a little over familiar.

Not sure if I am making sense. Perhaps it's a little easier for me as I tend not to befriend the people I work with in the real sense. Strangely enough though I have become very good friends with ex-colleagues.

[Lavenderhoney]

If his wife is checking out his phone, she may already have problems with him you know nothing about.

I would text back saying, no, don't bother calling I'll see you when I see you at work.

And back off before she cites you are the reason they have split up. Even if its not you.

[otterface]

It's the "I win :P" that would bother me if I was the dw, especially if I asked what it meant and he explained the context of your placement discussion. I would think, "why does this woman think my husband should give a shit what / where she tattoos herself, enough to tease him that she's "won" and he's "lost" because she put it on the leg and not the foot?"

It's a very weird thing to say, OP, much weirder than the picture alone or with a general "here's the finished article" type text would be. It strongly implies that you think he has not just a general opinion about ratio placement, but some vested interest in how you decorate your body. The only way the "I win" joke works is if you think he really cares where your tattoo is. Why on Earth should he?

[otterface]

"Tattoo placement", not "ratio placement"!

[womma]

Some people are reading far too much into this....

[GoshAnneGorilla]

I guess I'm not a cool wifey, because I would not be impressed either, especially as 99% of tattoos are grim.

[HarkTEEHeraldAngelsSing]

I wasn't going to reply on this because I agree with Sybil, a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing, but I have to ask:

Those of you who would mind, do you actually trust your husbands? Because you all sound insecure and paranoid.