Mil sharing private family news.

[Mapleissweet]

Dc3 was recently admitted to hospital with a chest infection. He is only little, so they kept him in for 36 hours to keep an eye on him and give him some oxygen.
My mil helped out by popping in and taking the dd and ds to school, which was a help so that dh could be with me at the hospital.
We didn't tell dc1 and 2 that dc3 was in hospital as we didn't want to worry them and we were unsure about what was happening
However, when taking dc to school mil has told people and the teaching staff that dc3 was in hospital. There was absolutely no need for mil to tell anyone, dc3 had only just been admitted, we hadn't told the other dc and it is our private family business. It's not that I don't necessarily want people to know, I just feel it is not her place to tell people at school who she barely knows. It is for me and dh to choose when and if to tell people.
I think mil revels in drama and particular medical stuff, which is fine if it is her or fil business, but not if it's mind.
Subsequently upon return we have had numerous teachers and people at school asking about it.
I'm obviously a little sensitive at the moment . I just don't think it's mil place to tell the tiger moms and teachers at school.
Aibu?

Not 'tiger' but other!

Did you ask her not to tell anyone?

I am not sure why you wanted to keep it quiet.

Did you ask her not to tell anyone? If you did, then you are being absolutely reasonable.

If you didn't, she is behaving perfectly normally-I don't think a child being in hospital is "private family business"

I do hope he's better now.

I think yab a bit u. I have to say that I wouldn't think twice about telling people. maybe next itme something like this happens you should tell you ml to keep it to herself.

Sounds like my MIL, I've learned only To involve her in things I want to broadcast.

If you made it clear that she wasn't to tell anyone, YANBU. Otherwise, how was she to know that it was to be kept under wraps?

Also - how did you manage to keep DC3's hospitalisation a secret from your other DCs?

I agree with pp. Unless you specifically told her not to say anything then why would she keep it quiet? It's not a secret, it's a fact. It's also the kind of thing a teacher will share (with other teachers and staff members) in case a child is upset or 'off', so I don't think MIL necessarily told lots of people. I also find it odd you didn't tell your other DCs.

Ah OK-so she's good enough to help-but not good enough to tell the reason why

It's hardly as if she was gossiping about family secrets!

I do hope DC3 is doing better now though!

I didn't ask her not to tell anyone, dc3 was admitted in the night and she came round to help out in the morning (I was still at the hospital).

We hadn't told the other dc and mil took them to school and told people. She doesn't really know them, including the teachers.
I just don't feel as though it's her place to tell people. It's just not necessary and she had absolutely no reason to.

Where did the other kids think that he was??

It wouldn't occur to me that this was something to keep secret. "Hi, I'm picking up LittleMaples." "Oh where's Maple?" "Her littlest is in hospital atm with (whatever.)" Unless told otherwise this seems like a normal thing to share.

Is there a massive history of her opening your bank statements then talking about your overdraft in McDonald's, or similar?

I think yabu. She came to look after the other two and so of course people at school are going to ask her why. What's she supposed to do - lie?

We didn't tell the dc straight away as we wanted them to go to school without the stress. They obviously know now as we have since told them.

She helped you out.Did she know it was a secret?

Yabu.

Of course she was going to tell people.

I don't get why you are annoyed about it tbh.

If you didn't specifically tell her not to tell anyone, then it would be the most natural thing in the world for her to tell people she met, particularly as the teacher may have said something along the lines of "ooh, is granny dropping you off today?"

If you already know she revels in medical drama, you should have told her not to say anything to anyone.

"I think mil revels in drama and particular medical stuff,"

Maybe you shouldn't have involved her, then?

"I just don't feel as though it's her place to tell people. It's just not necessary and she had absolutely no reason to."

Oh, for goodness sake."Not her place"? She's the child's grandmother not the parlour maid!

Nobody asked her why she was dropping off and even if they did, surely the answer is I'm just helping out.
Maybe Aibu, but he had only just been admitted, she didn't really know any of the facts, our dc hadn't been told, but she thinks it's ok to tell people at school. It's not that I don't want people to know, but I just feel she shouldn't tell anyone she comes across.

How old are the other 2 dc? IMO most children wouldn't be too stressed about their sibling being in hospital.

Well if she didn't know any facts, she could hardly say anything except "he's in hospital".

Is there a huge back story going to come out soon?

"It's not that I don't want people to know, but I just feel she shouldn't tell anyone she comes across."

Why not? Because she is a MiL and therefore automatically in the wrong?

She's the child's grandmother.So yes it is her place to tell people.