Mil sharing private family news.

[Mapleissweet]

Dc3 was recently admitted to hospital with a chest infection. He is only little, so they kept him in for 36 hours to keep an eye on him and give him some oxygen.
My mil helped out by popping in and taking the dd and ds to school, which was a help so that dh could be with me at the hospital.
We didn't tell dc1 and 2 that dc3 was in hospital as we didn't want to worry them and we were unsure about what was happening
However, when taking dc to school mil has told people and the teaching staff that dc3 was in hospital. There was absolutely no need for mil to tell anyone, dc3 had only just been admitted, we hadn't told the other dc and it is our private family business. It's not that I don't necessarily want people to know, I just feel it is not her place to tell people at school who she barely knows. It is for me and dh to choose when and if to tell people.
I think mil revels in drama and particular medical stuff, which is fine if it is her or fil business, but not if it's mind.
Subsequently upon return we have had numerous teachers and people at school asking about it.
I'm obviously a little sensitive at the moment . I just don't think it's mil place to tell the tiger moms and teachers at school.
Aibu?

YABU and you are probably in a stress because you have a ds in hospital, I would worry about your ds and not to much about who knows what for now. I do think it was nice of your MIL to help you both out

I guess a lot of people don't consider a child in hospital with a chest infection "private family news".

Do you consider that she told as many people as she could just for the sake of it, then?

Unless there's more to this than you've so far said, you are being beyond unreasonable

She is family.

What does your husband think?

It's irritating, but I agree with other posters: it isn't an obvious secret and telling people is a fairly normal reaction. I wonder if she mentioned it because she was worried and wanted to talk about it?

I hope all are well now, but I think you are overreacting.

The poor woman drops everything to come and help you out, you didn't ask her not to say anything and she told teachers etc. instead of being grateful for her help, you pick up on this? I hope it's just because you are feeling sensitive at the moment.

Would you have felt as aggrieved if it had been your own mother... somehow I bet not..

Gosh yes, meant to say I hope your DC3 is recovering. DD had 5 days on oxygen with bronchiolitis, it was terrifying.

"It's not that I don't want people to know, but I just feel she shouldn't tell anyone she comes across."

Why not? Because she is a MiL and therefore automatically in the wrong?

Yes, I think you are probably right there Curlew.

I can understand why you thought it would be better for the other children not to know that the baby was in hospital if you thought they'd worry about it - but I think you were unreasonable to expect your MIL to know that was what you'd decided unless you told her!! Does she have a crystal ball?

You can't blame the poor woman for not knowing when you didn't tell her - and maybe she thought that the school needed to know what was going on, in case there were any problems during the day, and they needed to contact you.

YABU, the poor woman helped out and is now being slagged off.......get a life OP.

YABbitU here. I hope DC3 is on the mend now and I'm sure its been a stressful time but I don't really see what MIL has done wrong. She helped you out when you needed it. You don't ask her not to tell anyone so she didn't know you wanted it kept private.

didn't not don't

Maybe she was worried and just wanted to talk to people?

Perhaps in future you shouldn't tell her and manage without her help.

Having had a child critically ill in hospital I would have loved a grandparent and to help out with other DC, I'd be so grateful they could tell how they like!

Hope your DS has recovered.

Lovely of her to help out. She's probably just worried. Hope dc better soon x

yab petty

You sound like a very difficult dil if these types of things upset you! So what if she told anyone, presumably she was so concerned. It's hardly a top secret, and if you were so worried about your kids knowing you should have specifically told her. Otherwise her actions are totally normal and you are the unreasonable one.

Jesus. We are all different. I am just a private person. This has nothing to do with her being my mil. I would feel the same about it if it was my own mom.
Yes she helped out, which was kind. I didn't tell the older dd who is 6 and her db who is 7 because they might get upset and dh didn't want the stress as he was trying to site everything out.
I suppose it is just typical of mil as she does tell people things for the sake of it. When really she should hold back. Telling her family I was pregnant before I told others (I wAs 8 weeks) was another thing, but she seemed to think I wouldn't mind. I just don't think something's need spelling out.
I'm perhaps more upset because she is a drama queen and tends to exaggerate things and things become an unnecessary drama.
I prob Abu, so I shall bite my tongue and not say anything.

Perhaps if this happens again you should ask someone else to come and help out with your other DC and keep your "private family news" between yourself and your DH.

YABU.

Even if you had a bit of a point I'm surprised you didn't think, "I wish she hadn't told people, but never mind because she was there when we needed her and helped is out massively".

YABU. I really don't see why a child being in hospital in private family news and I actually think telling the school something is going on makes a lot of sense.

Jesus. We are all different. well where would AIBU be if everyone had your laid back, understanding attitude, eh?

Maybe she was worried and wanted to talk to people about it.

I don't really understand your attitude and I don't think it's helpful to hide things from children.

Yup I agree with pp-sort it out between yourself & your husband another time.

And sure the school don't need to know either!