To be really fucking annoyed at DP

[ControversialAnnie]

Sorry this might be a bit rambly, I'm really angry.

We don't live together at the moment as he doesn't want to. We have two DC under 3 and I live as a LP, with him visiting us for one or to days a week.

We fell out last week over his priorities, but he apologised yesterday so all was well again. Last night he asked to borrow £40 to go out, which considering I'm on benefits is quite a lot to me. He does this most weeks, but as usual I said yes as he was laying it on thick with how he would pay me back ASAP, he needed time out etc.

I've just seen the dreaded Facebook. He went out and got so slaughtered that he couldn't go to work today, which will get him in trouble no doubt.

It doesn't sound so big written down, but I'm so angry. I struggle to run a house with two lively toddlers, sort our finances out, do everything and he swans in for one day a week and lives his life as a single man. I need a break, but I never get one. When he's here he sleeps until lunchtime and the kids are up at 5am every day. I have other issues that mean I don't get any time to relax when they are in bed.

So, AIBU? Because I'm sure he'll tell me I am, and I don't want to fight if I'm in the wrong.

So, what is he bringing to this relationship?

You obviously supply sex, childcare, cash and the home comforts and him????

There is so much wrong with your post I don't know where to start!

Why have you got 2 children with a man who doesn't 'want ' to live with you?!

Surely you would be better kicking him to the kerb, lending him no money and just building a life with your children without him?

It sounds huge written down. Poor you. YANBU, and you are not in the wrong. He sounds like a selfish twat.

Are you mad? He is using you. Get rid of him asap you deserve better.

Wow... He sounds like a prick!

What do you get out of this 'relationship'?

You must know YANBU?

He doesn't live with his family? Borrows money off you to go out drinking? When he does stay he doesn't partake in family stuff because he sleeps till late?

What are you and your children getting out of this relationship?

Please, I was going to say LTB but as he doesn't even seem to be in this relationship, just change the locks.

What the fuck? You're okay to use to money and have kids with but he can't live with you?

What the fuck again?

Please end your relationship with him. From your post I can see no reason not to, and every reason to do so.

YADNBU

I can't believe you even think you might be unreasonable - how can you live this life? Why is your self esteem so low?
He must be laughing all the way to the pub.
Put yourself first.

Why on earth are you so accepting of such a barrel of shit?
He's a selfish bastard of the highest order!!

I can't think of what to say to you. Incredible!!

It doesn't sound so big written down

Read it again. It is big.

What on earth could make you think you could be in the wrong?

There isn't one reason to stay with him.

Get rid.

och get rid of him

at least then you won't be bothered about what he gets up to in non-contact time and you get a proper break and monies will be formalised

(how did you get the DWP/Tax credits to agree that you were able to claim as a lone parent with the father of your children being your boyfriend?)

So basically you're a single mum who is still sleeping with the father of your children? - because this is not a relationship in any sense of the word.

Stop having sex with him and stop giving him any money whatsoever.

Eh, it doesn't sound that big written down...? He sounds like a fucking nightmare! Why are you putting up with this? He obviously doesn't want to fully commit to the family. Borrowing money, getting drunk, not going to work as a result, get rid, he sounds like a right waster!

YANBU. Frankly, he sounds like he's just using you. Does he actually have any redeeming qualities at all?

And you are 'with' him because????

What everyone said. Lunatic out it well.

Annie: It is very big written down.

To be honest, he sounds like a feckless idiot.

He is behaving like a single man with no responsibilities.

Try and make some changes.
Learn to say no.
Don't let him stay at your house.

Don't 'lend' him money - learn to say that you haven't got any.
Make it up, tell lies to him about money.
You are giving him money that should be for your Dcs (and you).

You are being far too nice to him.
GET TOUGH.

Best wishes to you.

It doesn't sound so big written down

It sounds huge mate! You have been conditioned into normalising stuff that most of us would laugh at being expected to put up with! Not because it would be funny, but because it's so fucking outrageous, what else could you do?!

Sorry *put

Does this waste of space contribute anything financially to your family?

He is using you, dump him asap, what a knob jockey

On top of the fact he contributes nothing to the relationship or family life you are also risking being investigated for benefit fraud (even though innocent) as he regularly stays overnight and they are his dc but you claims as a LP.

Get rid of the parasite your deserve so so so much more.