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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU let date in house with my kids.

133 replies

mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 15:48

I have 2 girls aged 4 - I have been single there whole lifes and promised I would never bring a date back only someone I was serious about.
anyway a while back a guy started a temp job at my work and we got to know each other , I really like him.
so we have been arranging a date for like ever lol it was my birthday this week he offered a meal out and maybe the cinema but I had no one to watch the children and its unlikely I will ever at the right time. so he text me tonight saying we could get a Chinese. IABU to maybe invite him round once the girls are in bed .. for some Chinese and wine ........ ?

OP posts:
Woofsaidtheladybird · 22/11/2013 15:51

I wouldn't.

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 15:53

why do I am trying to work out why I actually feel guilty about it ? I have confused myself. lol

OP posts:
AngelsLieToKeepControl · 22/11/2013 15:53

I don't think I would either.

Do you know what he is like once he has had a drink? Are your children likely to wake up at any point?

lollilou · 22/11/2013 15:54

Not yet. It's too soon. Could you do an afternoon date?

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 15:54

*that was meant to be though

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 22/11/2013 15:56

I wouldn't. It's too early and you don't know him well enough.

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 15:56

not a chance would I ever get an afternoon date. i know deep down your right just a bit gutted , and yes i know what his like when his had a drink and we could leave the wine out of it was a problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 15:56

sorry if i didn't make it clear we have known eachother for a while .. not as dating though if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Woofsaidtheladybird · 22/11/2013 15:59

Well you know, really. Girls in bed. Nice guy arrives, with takeaway and wine. You both get tipsy. You know what you're like under the influence, but him? And what if one of the girls heard you and came downstairs to see you mid snog or 'something'? Then what if he - and you - wanted him to stay? Or you felt uncomfortable and wanted him to go and wouldn't?

All sorts of scenarios.

I'd err on the side of caution. So, in the nicest way possible, YABU.

Woofsaidtheladybird · 22/11/2013 16:00

Even so, without wine...

Just still no.

Sorry Sad

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 16:01

I am not planning on slipping with the guy lol !! and i know his not like that .. as i said we have previously spent time together. but i get your point i will wait another 4 years lol

OP posts:
meditrina · 22/11/2013 16:01

Do you have other friends who drop in? If so, then it's ok as you can bill it to the DC as a friend coming round. Do not let them catch you snogging on the sofa though.

And don't do it often, even if they don't actually set eyes on him, until you are sure he's worth actually introducing as a special friend.

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 16:02
  • sleeping .... sorry predictive text and no sleep !
OP posts:
lollilou · 22/11/2013 16:02

Do you have no one who could babysit? Could you pay for one? I think that if you haven't been on a date with him it's a bit soon to invite him to your home. You need to take it slowly.

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 16:02

meditrina my best mates a bloke, and his been around loads of times.

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Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 16:04

my daughters can't have a normal babysitter, which is why its been so hard and why i haven't dated in 4 years , its ok I will think of something.

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SeaDevilscanPlay · 22/11/2013 16:05

I wouldn't.

And as both your girls have medical needs that is another factor that would put me off it.

Floggingmolly · 22/11/2013 16:07

What's up with your girls?

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 16:08

I am not going to let him , but my daughters medical needs would always come first whether i had anyone in the house.

I suppose after being his friend for a while I didn't see the big deal.x

OP posts:
Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 16:09

t1 - cystic fibrosis
diabetes
and enzyme defiency

t2 - cystic fibrosis.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 22/11/2013 16:13

Oh. That must be hard Sad

SaucyJack · 22/11/2013 16:18

I would. It's not as if he's some random you don't know from Adam.

Don't blow him with the door open tho.

schmee · 22/11/2013 16:21

I'm with saucy jack. If they've worked together it should be ok I think

cestlavielife · 22/11/2013 16:25

what level of care do they need in evening eg nursing care? can you get assistance from ss children with disabiities to get direc tpayments for specialist trained babysitters?

go out with your colleague for lunch until you can arrange an evening out with him, when you can get a babysitter.
.
then maybe invite him in daytime as a friend

Original poster
mumofbeautys · 22/11/2013 16:29

its impossible for me to get out during the days. I am in sll day every day at the minute.

we worked together for nearly 11 months had lunch together in our breaks etc as like mini dates I suppose lol

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