AIBU to feel upset my friend didn't lend me any money?

[ShakeRattleNRoll]

I've known him for 8 years as a neighbor and I have never asked to borrow money off him before .We have always got on and I consider him a friend .I hate asking to borrow money off anybody but needs must and he has plenty of it .I over spent today on brand new jacket for £15 which should have been £60 but I couldn't let it go and I was confident of borrowing against it . I have a direct debit which is due out tomorrow for (£12) and I've messed it up .I wish I hadn't asked now. My grandmother used to say to me the best way to lose a friend is to lend them money.I disagree with that because I always pay back my debts if I ever have them.Anyhow this supposed friend said to me I don't like lending money and refused to lend me any.AIBU to feel upset about this?

Of course YABU, how odd to be upset about it.

One of my neighbours has been lending the odd £10 off me for ages. Says its just for a couple of days which spin out to a couple of weeks.

She asked me for £20 about a month ago, just till the end of the week as otherwise the kids wouldn't be able to have lunch money.

Of course I gave her the money. Not had it back.....and I know she'd have been able to repay it as she's been away for a shopping trip, had a night out, etc since then.

I'm guessing I'm not getting it back and to be honest I don't know if I'd lend anyone any money again.

Your neighbour might have had similar happen to them before. It puts you off. I'd consider my neighbour a friend, we see each other most days, have coffee, etc. Shes maybe just forgotten and I won't bring it up but I just know if it was me I couldn't settle owing someone money.

The only people I'd be prepared to lend money to are those who didn't need it. The fact that you would spend £15 you don't have on what you perceive to be a bargain piece of clothing only demonstrates why lending to you isn't a good idea.

fieldfare i paid £15 for the jacket which was brand new in a charity shop and they retail for new at £60 hth

Can't you take the jacket back then you will be back in credit? Talk to the bank if there is a delay. Why should he pay for your new jacket? If it was to pay for food for your toddler I could understand your frustration more. I know you say you will pay it back but he doesn't know that, or he may just have a policy to not lend money. Don't hold it against him.

My grandma told me the same thing "never a lender or a borrower be" and some people use that as a motto to live by. THe person may have leant to someone in the past and lost a friendship tyring to get their money back. I do not think they were being U and I think you are probably being a bit U.

Reverse surely

YABU

Never a lender or borrower be.

Yabu. It's a shame to let the jacket go when it was so cheap, but that's what you should have done.

Please don't think I am being unsympathetic - I do know what is like to be skint.

I just feel like he should trust me and I do an awful lot for him and £12 isn't that much either anyhow.I wish I hadn't asked .i just wish I had a proper friend to turn to who could help me out because a proper friend would help me out.

Doesn't matter if the jacket was £15 or £1500 you still couldn't afford it so shouldn't have got it.

Oh sorry x posted.

" I was confident of borrowing against it"

You knew you didn't have enough money.

He isn't unreasonable at all, he can choose who he does or doesn't lend money to. You are equally reasonable to remember this next time he needs a favour. Probably an unpopular view but there you go.

A proper friend would tell you to return the jacket.

If £12 isn't that much why do you need to go into debt to pay it? Nobody who scratches around for the odd tenner should be borrowing money.

A proper friend might also advise you to prioritise your spending on what really counts, actually.

You need some help managing your money. The idea was, you bought a £60 jacket reduced to £15 so you could borrow against it? This is a waste of time. You would have a little bit extra for about a week, after paying that DD, and then you would have had the jacket in pawn anyway and even more debt.

Stop mucking about and get some proper money advice. The best suggestion I can give you is stop trying to do deals like that. They never work.

I'm more fed up with my financial situation tbh honest.I will apologize to him for putting him in an awkward situation as now i know he doesn.t trust me. ;-(

"and he has plenty of it" This has got to be a reverse.

YAB completely U-and there is no way he should be apologising for not lending you money. You made the mistake, you are a grown up, you sort it out.

This is about getting your priorities right op. You didn't need to buy the jacket & you shouldn't have knowing you had a bill to pay.

YABU your friend/neighbour shouldn't have to lend you money to pay a bill all because you wanted a new jacket you couldn't afford.

Harsh but true!

YANBU... assuming you only wanted a few quid to make up the shortfall, not hundreds.

I would always lend to someone I called a friend. And Id expect a friend to lend me money too.

Mean