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AIBU?

AIBU to feel upset my friend didn't lend me any money?

217 replies

ShakeRattleNRoll · 21/11/2013 19:33

I've known him for 8 years as a neighbor and I have never asked to borrow money off him before .We have always got on and I consider him a friend .I hate asking to borrow money off anybody but needs must and he has plenty of it .I over spent today on brand new jacket for £15 which should have been £60 but I couldn't let it go and I was confident of borrowing against it . I have a direct debit which is due out tomorrow for (£12) and I've messed it up .I wish I hadn't asked now. My grandmother used to say to me the best way to lose a friend is to lend them money.I disagree with that because I always pay back my debts if I ever have them.Anyhow this supposed friend said to me I don't like lending money and refused to lend me any.AIBU to feel upset about this?

OP posts:

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SaucyJack · 21/11/2013 22:47

YABU to expect anybody to ever lend you money under any circumstances.

I can understand your frustrations tho- especially if the jacket was a good deal and you need one.

Fifteen pounds on a warm coat when we are facing one of the coldest winters in years is hardly a luxury

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 21/11/2013 22:47

I really don't see a difference. Borrowing is borrowing. Lots borrow off cards and don't fully pay off. Op was getting kicked but I doubt all are squeaky clean money wise, or if are then it also illustrates how narrow MN can be.

This op asked a friend. Others ask Visa.

pigletmania · 21/11/2013 22:47

Yabvvu his money it's up to him!

Floggingmolly · 21/11/2013 22:49

You were a bit cheeky to feel confident you could borrow against it
From a neighbour??

fluffaduck · 21/11/2013 22:54

Minnie I don't think OP was getting kicked, she did ask if she was being unreasonable to feel upset and the majority answer was yes. She says she has known him 8 years as a neighbour. Not a close friend.
As for the situation being similar as a credit card its not. If you use a credit card that money spent has no effect on anyone else. Borrowing money from a neighbour may have left him short? Plus he is not a bank or a credit card company with whom she has taken out a loan agreement, he is under no obligation to lend out his money.

firesidechat · 21/11/2013 22:56

Minnie I find it hard to agree with you. The difference is that Visa is a business and they have a certain amount of bad debt factored into their business plan. Borrowing from friends risks that friendship and isn't there an old adage about mixing business with pleasure. Oh, and never a lender or a borrower be.

And no I don't borrow against credit cards or store cards. Learnt that the hard way. Also I did without a winter coat for years - a waterproof with layers was good enough.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 21/11/2013 22:56

There's a huge difference between entering into a contract with a credit card or loan company with a regular repayment plan and consequences if the borrower doesn't repay, and borrowing cash from a friend or neighbour. There are posts above from people who've lent to friends and not had their money returned. I'm not saying the OP wouldn't have paid back the loan if she'd have got it from the neighbour, just pointing out that there's a massive difference.

UnicornsPooGlitter · 21/11/2013 22:58

Minnie, credit card companies offer to lend you money in exchange for an interest payment. They will only make this offer if they believe that you have the means to pay back this £. They also have the means to make you pay this £ back.

I think that this is totally different to someone asking an acquaintance to lend them £.

wontletmesignin · 21/11/2013 23:05

Yabu. You overspent. I think its quite ridiculous really, from his POV. I would be quite offended if a neighbour asked to lend some money because they overspent.

I would be really pissed off if i found out they thought that I was bu for not lending it!

ShakeRattleNRoll · 21/11/2013 23:08

fluffaduck I didn't buy the jacket so I could pawn it at cash converters .I bought it to keep me warm

OP posts:

ShakeRattleNRoll · 21/11/2013 23:11

I thought i knew him well enough to ask but i was obviously wrong.It's not the crime of the century to ask to borrow a tenner off of somebody.i won't be doing it again tight git

OP posts:

LittleBairn · 21/11/2013 23:12

Your still blaming him for your own behaviour!

wontletmesignin · 21/11/2013 23:14

He is not a tight git. I would say he was sensible. Especially considering you are now branding him a tight git.

A jacket is not a coat. A coat is needed in this weather.

You shopped with your eyes - not your brain and are now paying the price.

Dont blame your name or call him names because YOU messed up!

fluffaduck · 21/11/2013 23:14

Apologise OP I misinterpreted what you wrote. It was the line borrow against it that threw me. Its a local (Leeds) phrase that people say when they are pawning something so they can "borrow against it".

wontletmesignin · 21/11/2013 23:14

Your neighbour*

ShakeRattleNRoll · 21/11/2013 23:17

I mean really at the end of the day it doesn't really matter about the jacket.I asked to borrow ten pounds and I was told no .So that's that's then.At least I know where I stand with him.I think it's bit disrespectful of him not to be a bit kinder despite the circumstances.What a meany

OP posts:

EXTERMINATEpeppa · 21/11/2013 23:17

TIGHT GIT?!
Im sorry ive been sitting back and keeping stoom but seriously

you spend your money on a COAT & just expected to be lent money by someone who is well off?

This has been a pity party from you & your very much in the wrong. Its not his problem you spent your money. Its yours.

You sound like you have an entitlement complex.

Monty27 · 21/11/2013 23:18

You could have asked the charity shop to keep it for you with a deposit! YABVU judging your friend having put him in such an embarrassing position. You've probably ruined that relationship now.

Don't ask people for money, its not on.

KenAdams · 21/11/2013 23:18

"When I see a good winter jacket like that I think it is money well spent even if you can't afford it."

And you're still blaming him.

Chippednailvarnish · 21/11/2013 23:18

Looks to me like he made exactly the right choice regarding the OP grasping cow

EXTERMINATEpeppa · 21/11/2013 23:19

What a meany.

dear lord… grow up.

MurderOfGelth · 21/11/2013 23:19

"I think it's bit disrespectful of him not to be a bit kinder despite the circumstances"

Err OP, really??

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MudCity · 21/11/2013 23:21

Best not to ask friends or neighbours for help with money. Go to the bank instead, or maybe family, but best not go there with friends unless you are very close and it is the kind of thing you do for each other.

I can understand why you wanted the coat and admit to having exceeded my overdraft limit in the past doing something similar.

fluffaduck · 21/11/2013 23:24

Sorry Shake but I don't understand why he's a meanie? Why should he of lent you £10?
Is it a prerequisite of being your neighbour that they should periodically lend you £10 when you overspend?
I think your a meanie for calling him names

ShakeRattleNRoll · 21/11/2013 23:25

I haven't ruined the friendship.We are very good neighbours and as I have said I thought I knew him well enough to ask for the first time in 8 years to lend me a blinking tenner for heaven sake.stone the crows

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