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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel upset my friend didn't lend me any money?

217 replies

ShakeRattleNRoll · 21/11/2013 19:33

I've known him for 8 years as a neighbor and I have never asked to borrow money off him before .We have always got on and I consider him a friend .I hate asking to borrow money off anybody but needs must and he has plenty of it .I over spent today on brand new jacket for £15 which should have been £60 but I couldn't let it go and I was confident of borrowing against it . I have a direct debit which is due out tomorrow for (£12) and I've messed it up .I wish I hadn't asked now. My grandmother used to say to me the best way to lose a friend is to lend them money.I disagree with that because I always pay back my debts if I ever have them.Anyhow this supposed friend said to me I don't like lending money and refused to lend me any.AIBU to feel upset about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
ShakeRattleNRoll · 21/11/2013 23:26

Just last week I gifted him a lovely leather wallet and a candlestick holder and I drove him into town to help with his shopping

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 21/11/2013 23:26

If its only a blinking tenner then you shouldn't need to borrow it from him.

comemulledwinewithmoi · 21/11/2013 23:27

Really?

Monty27 · 21/11/2013 23:27

Shock You're not really getting it are you? How the hell do you know what his finances are? And if you do, what business is it of yours and how do you think you have any claim on them?? Hmm

Like I said, you should have asked the charity shop for charity, by holding onto the coat with a deposit, not your friend.

MudCity · 21/11/2013 23:28

He is not being disrespectful or mean. You asked him to lend you money. He has the right to say no.

BlueLagoonz · 21/11/2013 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffaduck · 21/11/2013 23:30

And that's very neighbourly of you Shake but when it comes down to lending money some people just don't do it. You should except that. May not seem fair to you after what you have done for him but some folk are funny with money Smile

elskovs · 21/11/2013 23:30

The neighbour didn't know OP had spent money on a coat. Maybe she just asked to borrow a tenner and didn't say what for... I don't see whats wrong with that.

It IS mean of him IMO, Id lend a friend a tenner without even thinking about it (unless I was skint too)

All of my friends would lend me money too... I cannot believe OP is getting such a hard time for asking. You are all loons.

moldingsunbeams · 21/11/2013 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mimishimi · 21/11/2013 23:32

Tight git. Meany. Disrespectful.

Really?!?!?

Spendthrift. Entitled. No self respect.

wontletmesignin · 21/11/2013 23:33

So you have a car, you gave him a leather wallet and a candlestick holder.

I still think yabvu. Just because you give him things. Doesnt mean he should return the favour. Like you say, you gave him them as 'gifts' not an investment for when you are skint.

You must have had a coat already. Because surely, if you were struggling that much, you couldnt afford a coat. Im sure you would part with your car?

elskovs · 21/11/2013 23:33

So he accepts lifts and presents from his neighbour, but wont help her out with a loan once in 8 years?? What an old scrooge.

thistlelicker · 21/11/2013 23:33

Is this honestly for real? Or what !!

EXTERMINATEpeppa · 21/11/2013 23:34

elskovs

we are not 'all loons'
OP shouldnt spend what she doesnt have an expect others to bail her out.

wontletmesignin · 21/11/2013 23:35

There is nothing wrong with asking to lend a tenner off of a neighbour. Especially if you feel you know them well enough to ask.

However, i think there is something wrong when the op thinks it is unacceptable that he refused to lend her it.

There should be no hard feelings after she asked, and he responded with no.

fluffaduck · 21/11/2013 23:35

What EXTERM said.

fluffaduck · 21/11/2013 23:36

And what wont said too Smile

Divinity · 21/11/2013 23:37

Are you someone who gives gifts with strings attached? It does not matter what you have bought for him, giving him gifts does not entitle you to borrow money from him.

A lesson to learn is not to gift him things like a wallet and candlestick holder when it has left you short.

It's his money to do as he pleases and he obviously does not feel comfortable lending money.

BlueLagoonz · 21/11/2013 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Monty27 · 21/11/2013 23:38

Elskovs how dare you call me a loon or other posters 'loons'. Exactly what do you mean? Angry

fluffaduck · 21/11/2013 23:40

Love the smiley Monty Grin

MamaMumra · 21/11/2013 23:42

Back off the OP a bit now, no need to all pile in.

If my neighbour asked to borrow £10 and I had it, I would lend the money, especially if it was the first time I'd been asked. Some people don't lend money and thats up to them. She asked and he said no. I agree its hardly the crime of the century.

SaltySeaBird · 21/11/2013 23:46

I never ask to borrow money off friends, I never lend money to friends.

I think it is very rude and entitled to expect somebody to lend some to you. You don't know if they have been burnt lending somebody money in the past.

For me it's just a huge no. If somebody I knew was really struggling to feed or clothe their children I'd rather help them out at the time with what they needed but it would be a gift. I just don't get involved in lending. I'm not a bank and can't afford to become one.

YABVU

MamaMumra · 21/11/2013 23:46

I'm with bluelagoonz , elksovs and shake .

SaltySeaBird · 21/11/2013 23:47

Mama, it's not the fact she asked, but the fact she has come on here calling him mean!

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