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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Not Know What To Do About Child Left In Car

281 replies

crackerjax · 19/11/2013 09:21

I came out of DCs school this morning and noticed a child was in a parked car on his own. He was about 2 yrs old and crying. I asked a couple of mums if they knew whose car it was with no success. I didn't have a phone with me but was thinking that if after 15 minutes the mum had not returned that I'd have to ask to borrow someone's phone to ring 999 or 101.

As I waited I noted the registration number and the child stopped crying. I think perhaps he may have been asleep when left and the crying I saw was the post-sleep cry that youngsters do. The mum arrived after about 10 minutes (so with the walk in to school was probably away c. 17 minutes assuming no chatting). I told her that her actions were unacceptable and she was very apologetic saying it was the first time and I think she was about to start saying that he is difficult on the way into school but I interrupted and said we have all had to manage difficult fractious toddlers on the school run but that leaving a child alone in a car is unacceptable and dangerous.

So, my questions are, what should I have done in that moment when I saw the child in the car, and do I do anything about it now? I appreciate that we all have difficult days, and that we all make poor choices on occasion (I am the first to admit I have made poor parenting choices).

Any thought are welcome.

OP posts:
comemulledwinewithmoi · 19/11/2013 09:24

You basically told her off? Very condescending.

PeppiNephrine · 19/11/2013 09:26

Who died and made you god of parenting? How dare you talk to the woman like that?

CoffeeTea103 · 19/11/2013 09:27

Yanbu. It was dangerous and unsafe and it's obvious she didn't think about that when she left the child so I think someone had to tell her. It's so irresponsible as anyone could have done something as she was parked in a public place.

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 19/11/2013 09:28

Cracker

the child was safe in the car, it wont have hurt him to cry for a few minuets. however to go home with a totally destroyed and tired mother who feels on egg shells after your out burst may be a different matter.

did you see in the papers about the woman lying down on a rail track and killing herself.

I hope you can live with yourself if your actions and words this morning have made that woman do something silly.

disgusting.

Angry
gobbynorthernbird · 19/11/2013 09:28

You should have kept your nose out.

Aeroaddict · 19/11/2013 09:28

I don't think you need to do anything else, apart from maybe keep an eye out in case you see the same thing happen again. She made a bad decision, you have told her you think she made a bad decision. Most likely she is now mortified and it won't happen again.

comemulledwinewithmoi · 19/11/2013 09:29

Fgs, unless the child was in danger ie it was a hot day. Mind your own business. It was obvious she was on the school run and would be back shortly. Sticky beakers out there. Shame REAL abuse, no on dies anything about.

Nanny0gg · 19/11/2013 09:30

What do you think you should do about it now?

You've told her off, you've voiced your concerns, you say she was apologetic.

Only further recourse would be to report her, somewhat after the event.

Do you really think that's necessary?

crackerjax · 19/11/2013 09:30

I was actually very polite. And I know someone who killed herself and under a train so was also very conscious of the wording I use.

I leave you with this:

OP posts:
comemulledwinewithmoi · 19/11/2013 09:32

I have left ds asleep and ran into school. Depending on how I was feeling, I'd either be distraught or you would if got a mouth ful. Hth

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 19/11/2013 09:32

contact your local paper, tar and feather her, slash a red cross across her door.

and PRAY she has no major crisis going on in her life as some posters have on these boars, lets PRAY she wasnt one of those. Lets pray she is not trying to end her life right now or even contemplating giving her child up for adoption,

Angry
Preciousbane · 19/11/2013 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scratchandsniff · 19/11/2013 09:33

It was too long to leave him, perhaps she didn't think she was going to be as long as she was or maybe she thought he'd stay asleep. I'm not sure a telling off was in order. If anything I would have mentioned it to the school so that they could put something in their newsletter about leaving children in cars during drop off/pick up time.

Elf - I think that's a bit of a harsh reaction.

comemulledwinewithmoi · 19/11/2013 09:33

You do know its November op? But carry on with the drama. Why don't you organise a Whitchurch hunt? Hmm

comemulledwinewithmoi · 19/11/2013 09:34

Feel so sorry for the mum.

PeppiNephrine · 19/11/2013 09:35

Vehicular heatstroke? In bloody november? its barely above freezing, so don't use that shit to justify your meddling. Hmm
The child was strapped in a car outside a school, and was perfectly safe.

Shellywelly1973 · 19/11/2013 09:35

Mmmm I love people like you.

Did you feel all good & glowy after you told this mum off?

Have a nice day...

dexter73 · 19/11/2013 09:35

That is a film about heatstroke. I don't think that would be a problem at the moment.

thebody · 19/11/2013 09:35

children shouldn't be left in a car unattended. she was wrong and good in you op for hovering to make sure child was safe.

if I had done this as a cm quite rightly I would have failed in my duty of care, amazed people do this with any child let alone their own.

ilovepowerhoop · 19/11/2013 09:35

how hot is it where you are then? Was -3 when i took the kids to school today

ProfPlumSpeaking · 19/11/2013 09:35

If you spoke nicely then YWNBU. I don't understand people with a MYOB attitude. The welfare of DC is the business of every single one of us and we should not shirk that responsibility the minute it is socially awkward or inconvenient. Less isolationism and more community spirit would go a long way to making society a better place. You keeping an eye on her LO whilst waiting for her was a kind act. Your speaking to her will have made her reflect on whether or not it was a good decision that she made and she might make better ones in future. As long as you were not rude (I am sure you were not in the light of what you have said) then you did the right thing. Thanks

comemulledwinewithmoi · 19/11/2013 09:35

Agree with Elf.

FracturedViewOfLife · 19/11/2013 09:36

It's November....

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 19/11/2013 09:38

she wouldn't let the lady speak, interrupted her and cut her down, how is that polite and nice exactly?
she also has no idea how long the child was left for.

thebody · 19/11/2013 09:38

Elf but dramatic really. I know people who do the school run and leave kids in the car. it's because they think they will be quick, it's safe, it's fine.

it is until it goes tits up, the child starts crying or unlocks the car or opens the door.

it happens.

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