To Not Know What To Do About Child Left In Car

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I came out of DCs school this morning and noticed a child was in a parked car on his own. He was about 2 yrs old and crying. I asked a couple of mums if they knew whose car it was with no success. I didn't have a phone with me but was thinking that if after 15 minutes the mum had not returned that I'd have to ask to borrow someone's phone to ring 999 or 101.

As I waited I noted the registration number and the child stopped crying. I think perhaps he may have been asleep when left and the crying I saw was the post-sleep cry that youngsters do. The mum arrived after about 10 minutes (so with the walk in to school was probably away c. 17 minutes assuming no chatting). I told her that her actions were unacceptable and she was very apologetic saying it was the first time and I think she was about to start saying that he is difficult on the way into school but I interrupted and said we have all had to manage difficult fractious toddlers on the school run but that leaving a child alone in a car is unacceptable and dangerous.

So, my questions are, what should I have done in that moment when I saw the child in the car, and do I do anything about it now? I appreciate that we all have difficult days, and that we all make poor choices on occasion (I am the first to admit I have made poor parenting choices).

Any thought are welcome.

Glad you picked up on that too Fakebook. If my 22mo could undo her own straps she wouldn't drive me crazy when I'm driving say "out mummy, bee-belt mummy". Though possessing that tremendous toddler in a tantrum strength there is no way she'd get the handbrake off even if she did get out of her bee-belt. She might endanger herself by putting the radio on loudly I guess...

If her 22mo is capable of doing what Locketjuice claims then she might as well put him in for his driving test and have done with it.

I think my mum is owed a hell of a lot of retrospective bollockings.

I seem to have spent most of my childhood staring at the outside of Kwik Save and picking the leather of the seats.

If someone can break into a car to steal peoples sound systems, mobile phones, wallets then some paedophile walking down the street can do the same

I think the first scenario is far more likely than the possibility of the random paedophile somehow....

Quite shocked at this thread.

It is not safe to leave a child alone in a car. OP I have no idea why you're getting such a hard time.

I wouldn't confront someone like you did - but there's no way I'd leave my child unattended while I went shopping. I'd just be worried something would happen or someone would take them.
I agree with the poster who said we shouldn't ignore things, you can watch from a distance and see if you need to intervene - but you SHOULD watch. It's not about judging - it's about child welfare. And we all need to get a lot better and looking out for kids. Two is just too little to be left alone in that situation.

Someone could have taken the child, taken the car, crashed into the car (by accident).
The mum could have had an accident in the school (heart attack) and therefore not returned to the car.
Or as said by someone else the child could have woken up and got out of the car.

Oh, fgs. Someone could have crashed into the car as they were driving along, and that would almost certainly be far more dangerous. The mother could have a heart attack whilst driving the car. Or a bolt of lighting might strike it. So she should really just stay at home all the time, shouldn't she, otherwise it would be "unacceptable" (to use OP's terminology).

Or just maybe the mother could have been standing chatting nearby keeping half an eye on her child. Maybe she put him in a childproof seatbelt that he couldn't undo on his own.

OK, I wouldn't have done it, but really if you are going to eliminate every conceivable risk from your life you would have to live in a sterile box all day every day.

Katythecleaninglady how do you have the gall to tell the OP she sounds like a horrible person when you post horrible aggressive things like that.

Nobody's perfect though, I understand that - and one harassed mistake does not make a bad mum x

Op sounds like a nosey fence snooper.

It only takes a minute to wisk a child away.

I think the OP did the right thing. We all need to be able to tell others (in a nice way) when they are making a dangerous mistake. No big fuss needs to be made about this.

I think it's one thing to break into a car to steal the radio or even the car itself. There must be far fewer people likely to be on the lookout for a baby to steal.
Not saying it's a good thing to leave one in the car, by the way.

A friend of mine once left her ds2 asleep in the car, a hundred or so yards up the road from the nursery where she was dropping off her ds1. Her ds2 didn't even wake up, the window was open a tiny bit, and she was less than 5 mins., but someone took her registration and reported it to the police, and she had a visit from them the next afternoon.

She is one of the most caring, conscientious, law-abiding people I know, and this really shocked her and shook her confidence.

We're all weighing up risks and benefits all the time, and coming to different decisions. Sadly you can have freak accidents with children left in cars, but you can also have freak accidents where cars mount the pavement and plough into people. Life will never be 100% safe.

Parents weigh up the risks. Not everyone would so this. I wouldn't but i also wouldn't be calling ss.
Maybe op has worded it wrong but it doesn't sound like she did it all out of concern for the child, but so she could lecture the parent. The way she went about it was rude.
Plus op cant even be sure how ling the parent was even away for!could have been 17 minutes, could have been 15, 12 ...

I think I mentioned earlier up the thread my friend whose 2 year old absolutely could get out of his car seat...he was a very active boy and you had to keep your eye on him constantly.

I find it really odd that people are called horrible and interfering because they are worried about an unattended child in a car with no parents visibly nearby. Ok, possibly the child was being watched by parents from a nearby window, possibly the parent was only going to be 2 mins, but possibly not....maybe calling the police was ott in this case but I can't agree it's an awful thing to flag up.

Sorry, final post. I completely agree with you tiggytape and yet it's the op that's called awful and nosey! Poor kid.

The kid is in all likelihood perfectly well looked after and happy, having a mother that thinks that she would leave him in a car one day whilst getting an older child probably as he was asleep, is really in the great scheme of things not a great big deal.

I leave 9 mo DS if hes sleeping for about 2 mins to dash older DC into nursery, especially if its freezing or pissing down.

I do think 17 mins seems a little long, but OP was way over the top with having a go at the woman. If she had just said "Oh he had been crying so I thought Id hang about until you got back" that would be enough to put the point across without having a go and interrupting her like that.

Leaving a toddler in a car, alone, for nearly 20 minutes is NOT acceptable parenting.

After 10 minutes I would have taken the reg and called the police. Sooner if the child was distressed.

I think the woman got off lightly. Her actions were irresponsible, stupid and dangerous. If you're going to act like a careless twat in regards to your childs safety, you deserve a bollocking.

Fakebook and gwendaline

Its hardly like I haven't tried different car seats and a Houdini strap!
He's can get out every way possible.
Its hardly takes a genius child to realise what the handbrakes for if they watch you driving.
Your arguments are pathetic.

If your 2 year old can undo their car seat straps it really does need sorting.

Have you investigated Windmill or Crelling harnesses?