To Not Know What To Do About Child Left In Car

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I came out of DCs school this morning and noticed a child was in a parked car on his own. He was about 2 yrs old and crying. I asked a couple of mums if they knew whose car it was with no success. I didn't have a phone with me but was thinking that if after 15 minutes the mum had not returned that I'd have to ask to borrow someone's phone to ring 999 or 101.

As I waited I noted the registration number and the child stopped crying. I think perhaps he may have been asleep when left and the crying I saw was the post-sleep cry that youngsters do. The mum arrived after about 10 minutes (so with the walk in to school was probably away c. 17 minutes assuming no chatting). I told her that her actions were unacceptable and she was very apologetic saying it was the first time and I think she was about to start saying that he is difficult on the way into school but I interrupted and said we have all had to manage difficult fractious toddlers on the school run but that leaving a child alone in a car is unacceptable and dangerous.

So, my questions are, what should I have done in that moment when I saw the child in the car, and do I do anything about it now? I appreciate that we all have difficult days, and that we all make poor choices on occasion (I am the first to admit I have made poor parenting choices).

Any thought are welcome.

I find it really odd that people are called horrible and interfering because they are worried about an unattended child in a car with no parents visibly nearby.

I don't think anyone is complaining that she was worried. They pointing out that her conduct in lecturing the other mother and talking over the top of her was objectionable.

I really question whether you can say that there were no parents visible nearby. This was the school run and was just outside the school - I'm quite sure there were a number of parents around. How does OP know that this mother wasn't one of them - maybe talking to someone whilst keeping an eye on her child?

Just a quick thought- maybe you could offer to help rather than criticise?

The OP was not called horrible for 'caring about the child'. She has been slated because she reprimanded the mother like she (the OP) was the queen of risk assessment.

There is hysteria on all sides of this thread.

Leaving my child in a car seat for that length of time is not something I would ever do - I get stressed just putting the trolley back in tescos or going in the pay for petrol.

However, you really were incredibly rude op and sounded like you were really horrid to this woman. All you had to do was stick around until she came back and then just tell her you were watching as you were concerned - that would have been enough to make her think, you already said she was apologetic. As for 'what do I do now?' - wtf? What exactly were you thinking of doing now?!

Having said all of that the 'you had better pray that this woman doesn't go and throw herself under a train now, how could you live with yourself?' Posts are also a leetle bit drama llama as well...

Yy Tiggytape, Lilacroses.

I think the op was right to be concerned and I admire her speaking to the mum. I think she was a bit harsh in interrupting the mum but calling someone on a bad parenting choice is difficult to get right.
It's not reasonable to say that the child didn't come to any harm so it's ok.
He was crying and distressed. That is harm. It's not the worst thing ever. But it needn't have happened.

For god's sake, the OP said pages ago that she felt she'd handled it badly. Don't let that get in the way of the sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, OTT bashing though, will you?

In the OP's position, after ten minutes (and goodness knows there's a chance the OP knows how to tell time) I would have been pretty stressed about what I should be doing, what was the best course of action, and could well have overreacted as well. Calling her horrible is, frankly, horrible given that you're safely behind your computer screen, not responding in the heat of that moment.

On the second issue - leave your kids in the car or not - I fall into the 'don't leave your kids unattended in the fucking car if you can't see them' school of parenting. But then, I tend to think that a child can't do something until the first time they do it - such as undoing their seatbelt, or figuring out that the front doors open from the inside, so being complacent that your kid can't undo their seatbelt is just that - complacency.

And a car rarely catches on fire regularly, for those 'hilarious' posters pointing out that their car has never caught fire yet. The first time is generally the only time.

I have vivid memories of the time our family car did it, and my youngest brother was strapped into the car seat. Thank fuck my parents were there.