To find a SAHM with nanny a bit much?

[lill72]

I know a mum that has 2 DC. One is at school, one at nursery at least 3 mornings a week, with a nanny every afternoon. The nanny/housekeeper also does a few nights a week and then has a teacher on the weekend to do activities with as well as nanny one night. The mum spends hardly any time with the children, as she i never there when the nanny is, even though she is a SAHM.

Although some days I would love some more time on my own, I just find this amount of time away from your children is sort of odd, when you are able to spend it with them. Aren't these time precious?

By the way, I am not saying anything against working mums, only that if you have the chance/choice to be with your kids, shouldn't you make a bit more of it?

love to hear your thoughts?

Her business, not yours.

I have an acquaintance who has a nanny... But the mum has ME so needs the support. Maybe the girl you know is in a similar position?

I know a mum with one child aged 21 and ten nannies! She has one for the gym, one for home, one for nights, one for in the car, I forget what the others are but there is one in charge of

I'll be honest, I don't find my toddler's 3am tantrums particularly "precious" at the moment and if money were no object would appreciate the help.

If I had more than two children I would love to have a nanny/housekeeper but that would be more to help out with things rather than having sole responsibility fornthe children.

It sounds odd but IMO it really does depend on the situation, when I was a SAHM I did at least 20 hours of voluntary work a week from home so I could have done with extra help then and if i had it people may have assumed I was just choosing to not spend time with my DCs if they were in nursery then out with a nanny.

Who cares?!

No more time away from her children than a full time parent, you wouldn't find that odd.

And it's none of your business.

I've come across a family like this. The family were very well off and had a daughter aged about 7/8 and because the mother was pregnant again they'd invested in a German live-in nanny to look after the older child so the mom could focus on the new baby. It was all a bit surreal. The nanny did EVERYTHING for the 7/8 year old...got her up in the morning and got her ready for school, took her to school, picked her up from school, did her homework with her, cooked her dinner and then put her to bed. The mother told me she was concerned because the older child seemed to be showing signs of resentment towards the new baby

The mom also voiced her displeasure at the fact that when she and the baby had come down in the morning at 09.30am she couldn't believe all the breakfast dishes hadn't yet been washed up....

You don't know what her personal situation may be and the reasons for her having a nanny. Maybe she has elderly parents she needs to care for or some other similar situation.

Isn't she lucky to be able yo afford yo make the choices that suit her. If her dcs are happy (and there doesn't seem to be a suggestion they're not) why does it matter? Mind your own business. Fwiw I think I would go mad if I was asahm and I would have loved some support when I was on mat leave so I could dash out and do some shopping or have my hair cut, or even just clean my house!

I know of a SAHM who has a Nanny. She also has a gardener, cleaners, someone who comes and valets the cars-you name it.

She seems very happy.

YABVU you don't have to sacrifice yourself for your child to be happy or know that you're its mother.

My thoughts are that it's completely her business and nothing to do with you.

You might think that of me OP, I have two DC, I also have a mother's help one morning a week and older DC in all day childcare 3 days a week.

We have no family help. My older DC has additional needs, I have depression (and I am being treated for it) and the baby doesn't sleep well.

Not your business but rather than judge why not see if you could be friends with her? Friends are good to have and not easy to make.

AIBU to think its none of your business?

I understand how it is nobody's business, however half of AIBU wouldn't exist if speculating about other peoples' lives wasn't done would it?

I think most Sahm would have some extra help with childcare if they could afford it. Sometimes it is pure drudge and time out for yourself is good for your relationships both with dh and the children.

I find these threads ing at other people's family set ups very strange and often tinged with a hue of envy where extra help is concerned. Who cares what other peple do? Providing everyone is well cared for what's the problem?

How do you know so much about what goes on in her house?

This morning I feel jealous of this person's situation, sounds glorious to me!

Come on Circles, surely you don't think your situation is remotely comparable to the one the OP described? Very disingenuous comparison.

I would love to have more help as I feel that some times spend all my time rushing around when the DCs are around and doing a million things at once (I work almost full time too) but people even get funny as I have cleaner a couple of hours a week.

Part if me believes that if stuff like this actually bothers people that must they must be jealous. At one point I worked 3 days a week and the DCs went to nursery 4 days a week, I had plenty of negative comments about those 5 and a half hours I was child free for even though I spent most of it doing voluntary work.

If the situation is exactly as you describe then I think it is not usual but I think there is probably more to it.

sounds bloody fantastic to me! lucky mare!

i think it sounds wonderful!

I agree OP. But most people on here will tell you it's none of your business, in that annoying way they do. Apparently according to many people on MN we're not allowed to have opinions on anything other than our own lives!

But at the risk of daring to express an opinion on someone else's life, I think that delegating childcare to that extent (when you don't actually have to) is a big shame.