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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be hovering somewhere between livid & terrified (DH gone AWOL!)

163 replies

BleedinEck · 30/09/2013 20:26

I called DH this afternoon to remind him I'm out on a course tonight & ask him to put DC's dinner in the oven as he was due home first. Mid conversation his phone cuts out but as I'd said everything I needed to I just assumed he was with a customer & didn't call back. I arrived home at 7pm with starving & tired DC to find the house in darkness & raw chicken sat in the fridge Confused

He's still not answering his phone or replying to texts, my course started an hour ago & kids had to have beans on toast.

DH does have form for disappearing (50% of the time to the pub the other 50% work related) so my initial reaction is to be fucking furious but as time goes on I'm starting to get worried that something awful has happened. Should I start ringing his mates/work colleagues or sit it out a bit longer!?

OP posts:
PrincessFlirtyPants · 30/09/2013 21:15

Hope he's ok, OP. Understandably worrying on both accounts though, I'm sure.

sweetestcup · 30/09/2013 21:15

I can imagine the swing between worry and fury, poor you.

TweedWasSoLastYear · 30/09/2013 21:16

Footy on Sky ?
A few beers and Monday night football with a few mates, hopefully.
Facebook plea to his friends?

BleedinEck · 30/09/2013 21:16

He was in the fucking pub ConfusedShockAngrySad I am beyond furious & he knows it. I've told him if it's really so awful to come home & see his wife and kids he can fuck off. I can't even look at him I'm so livid and all he keeps saying is he's sorry Angry. Going to bed & sorry to worry you all unnecessarily.

OP posts:
Hawkmoth · 30/09/2013 21:18

Knob. You are wholly justified in your anger.

AnyFucker · 30/09/2013 21:18

Are you going to carry on just swallowing this disrespect (he has form, you say)

When you have calmed down, have a damn good think. This is not normal, and not acceptable. Who the fuck does he think he is ?

eggyweggies · 30/09/2013 21:18

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but is he an alcoholic OP?

bundaberg · 30/09/2013 21:18

omg! i would be absolutely incandescent with rage!!!!

i would also lock all the doors from the inside so he couldn't get in

what a fucking nob

elcranko · 30/09/2013 21:18

Definitely start calling his friends if you haven't already OP. I hope that he gets home safely soon with a bloody good reason for why he is late. I just don't understand why he wouldn't come home and wouldn't call when he knew you were supposed to be going on a course. How often does he disappear? Has he ever done this type of thing before when you had specific plans and had to cancel them because of him?

Fairenuff · 30/09/2013 21:18

So, you are just going to be angry for a bit. He will wait for you to calm down and then he will do it again.

And this pattern will repeat and repeat and repeat.

Because he's done it before, he's apologised before and it all means nothing to him. He really has no respect for you whatsoever. Sorry Sad

Lilyloo · 30/09/2013 21:19

And another selfish individual who has no respect for his family / partner
:( so sorry OP

thebody · 30/09/2013 21:19

couldn't love someone who showed me that little respect. so sorry op.

ReginaldBlinker · 30/09/2013 21:20

Sorry, just trying to play devil's advocate, but if the phone cut out, maybe the signal wasn't that strong to begin with? I can't imagine he would have actually left your kid home alone without any food, so maybe it was just confusion on the phone? [hopeful]

Pollydon · 30/09/2013 21:21

So hes happy for dc not to have their dinner & you to be panicking? Twat Angry

elcranko · 30/09/2013 21:21

X-posts... I'm so sorry OP. I'd be absolutely fucking fuming if my DH did this. What did he have to say about making you miss your course? How nasty and disrespectful. He has let you down big time.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating · 30/09/2013 21:21

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Handbagsonnhold · 30/09/2013 21:22

Op glad you know he's safe but is be livid also......hope you havnt missed out on your course and can repeat it again at some stage. Don't let him take you for granted again....good luck!

daisychain01 · 30/09/2013 21:22

Hey don't worry about us, I'm sitting here sighing thinking phewwwwwweeee - thank goodness you are able to feel angry Angry rather than the alternative ...

Yes, you do need to have some ground rules, but hey, for tonight, just get some sleep, and talk it over tomorrow. You need your rest x

liquidstate · 30/09/2013 21:23

What a tosspot. Angry

Its all very well to be sorry but you had to go somewhere tonight and consequently missed out because of his selfish actions. He does need kicking into touch. Can you kick him over to his mums for a bit?

Will you get into trouble for missing your course?

PrincessFlirtyPants · 30/09/2013 21:23

That's is fucking outrageous. He allowed his children to go hungry and his wife to worry unnecessarily?!

You need to have a think about how much respect this man has for you and how much you have for yourself. I could not put up with that.

Ruprekt · 30/09/2013 21:23

OMG!

I would pack an overnight bag for him and tell him to sleep somewhere else tonight.

AngryAngryAngryAngry

What was the course you were going on?

CatAmongThePigeons · 30/09/2013 21:24

He is a fucking idiot. He mde you miss your course to go to the bloody pub? I'd be reading my DH the riot act. Sorry would not be good enough.

I'd probably be turfing him out as he's a disrespectful selfish twat.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 30/09/2013 21:25

You missed a pre-booked course he knew about because he decided to go and drink instead without telling you.

I am very sorry OP.

CinnabarRed · 30/09/2013 21:25

The bit that gets me the most is the thought of your poor DCs, exhausted and hungry, coming home to no food. Because their feckless father was drinking.

I think I could forgive if it were just me. Maybe. But nobody does that to my DCs. Nobody.

MammaTJ · 30/09/2013 21:28

You do not need to be sorry to us, he needs to be very sorry to you! Not going to happen though, is seems!!

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