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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with DP

218 replies

OffOnABender · 09/09/2013 10:44

DP went out last night for a friends birthday and still isn't home. He had work at 8M this morning. He told me it would be a late one (about 3am) but at 5am he still weren't home so I phoned to make sure everything was okay and he was wasted and still drinking and refusing to stop because he was having a good time, he hung up and I haven't heard from him since.

I doubt he's gone to work because he's job is driving so my money is that he's still drinking. AIBU to be pissed off? And think he's a grown man so grow the fuck up Angry

OP posts:
SoldAtAuction · 09/09/2013 23:03

please remember, you are the one who decides what your standards are not him. Please don't lower the bar.Sad You and your DD deserve respect, and kindness.

Catwoman12 · 10/09/2013 08:08

How are you today OP? He is seriously disrespecting you, Dd and your relationship, he has shown no remorse.. Confused X

Original poster
OffOnABender · 10/09/2013 12:25

Thanks for all the replies I really think you've all kept me sane

This morning he had nothing to say for himself. No apology just oh well it's happened. He said there's no point saying it won't happen again because he knows it won't but I won't believe him and that yesterday wasn't ment to happen so when I said if that wasnt ment to happen then it could happen again and he had nothing to say.

He tried to twist it to me that I wasn't that worried otherwise I would have phoned his parents and I told him not to twist it on me

So today I'm getting out and looking for somewhere to move

OP posts:
Andro · 10/09/2013 12:56

So today I'm getting out and looking for somewhere to move

Sending you a very un MN hug, you're making a brave choice for yourself and your DD.

Original poster
OffOnABender · 10/09/2013 13:04

Thank you. I'm not ending it but putting distance and giving him the chance to sort his problems but away from me

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 10/09/2013 13:07

That sounds like a positive move for both of you.

Ezio · 10/09/2013 13:08

I think thats good idea Off, he needs to see what hes losing and you need to work on asserting what you need and expect from him.

Ezio · 10/09/2013 13:08

I think thats good idea Off, he needs to see what hes losing and you need to work on asserting what you need and expect from him.

Ezio · 10/09/2013 13:09

No idea how that double posted.

Original poster
OffOnABender · 10/09/2013 13:22

Thank you it's hard to stay feeling strong but when he's still not sorry it makes me feel like well fuck you

OP posts:
wordfactory · 10/09/2013 13:31

If he'd come home with an apology and an acceptance that he has a problem and an intention to do something about the problem, then you might have had the basis to move forward.

But as it is, he's really leaving you little option.

Almost as if he's goading you into action.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 10/09/2013 13:34

Well done for getting your child out of this awful situation.

No kid should have to grow up around a father who regularly goes missing overnight after drink and drug binges.

InTheRedCorner · 10/09/2013 13:43

Good for you off your child is lucky to have such a sensible mummy.

Every time it feels to hard remember how you felt when you started this thread.

There is lots of support here for you and a.though this step doesn't mean the end to the relationship if you don't want it to it does mean the end of being treated like a mug and a door mat.

Good luck and stay strong, you deserve better in life!

quesadilla · 10/09/2013 13:55

Good for you OP. I hope that this prompts him to wake up and realise he is not fit to lick your boots. If not, you know what to do.

Good luck.

Juniperdewdropofbrandy · 10/09/2013 13:56

Best of luck. I thought he'd seen sense Sad

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 10/09/2013 14:02

Good luck OP! Onward and upward Thanks

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/09/2013 14:33

Good luck love. Thanks

SimplyRedHead · 10/09/2013 16:05

Well done.

Although it should be him moving out. Not fair on you and your DD - it's much easier for him to stay somewhere else.

StuntGirl · 10/09/2013 16:17

I'm glad you're making positive steps to keep yourself and your daughter away from this waste of space idiot.

I hope life gets better for you Flowers

PurplePidjin · 10/09/2013 16:43

Good luck Thanks

Make sure you know exactly where all your important paperwork is - passports, birth certificates, bank and other financial details etc. Keep some money where he can't access it. There are some amazing links in the Relationships section with advice :)

KatieScarlett2833 · 10/09/2013 16:59

All the best OP.
You deserve much better than this.

Original poster
OffOnABender · 10/09/2013 17:29

I haven't told him my plans yet but I haven't seen him since this morning and god knows if he comes back after work

OP posts:
hillyhilly · 10/09/2013 17:38

Good luck off, is there a way you can keep this thread to remind yourself how bad it was and how you felt when he was missing for so long? If he is minimising it now, he will continue to do so.

Original poster
OffOnABender · 10/09/2013 19:19

One minute I'm angry then I think maybe leaving is an over reaction my head is so messed up! I don't wanna start again and I don't want my DDs family ripped apart Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
OffOnABender · 10/09/2013 19:19

But I want her to have a happy childhood and not be around arguments an wondering why daddy hasn't come home

OP posts:
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