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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to rescue my friend's baby...

187 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 07/09/2013 22:33

Firstly, when I say 'rescue' I mean it tongue in cheek as he is not in any danger at all Smile

Do you find it hard to watch other children parent their child in a way you either wouldn't do yourself or cannot understand?

A friend of mine recently had a baby and I first went to visit when he was about a week old. She fed him then put him on one of those play mats on the opposite side of the room and left him there whilst coming back to chat to me. He was really restless, fractious, waving his arms and legs around etc. I made a comment about him being active and she told me that being on the floor is the best place for them....needless to say I went and picked him up after a few minutes, after having asked if I could have a cuddle and he settled straight away.

I then visited a week later and she started telling me about his 'routine' which involves him not being allowed to be fed until after his morning bath and until they have sorted out their other son who is 6. She told me she doesn't want the baby of getting in the habit of thinking he can have food as soon as he wakes up....I wanted to scream, "He's 2 weeks old for God's Sake!"

And now I learn he has been moved into his own room and he is only just over 6 weeks of age.

AIBU to feel a bit Hmm

I know parents can bring up their children however they like but he is still such a little baby. I'd want him near me all the time....

OP posts:
BOF · 07/09/2013 22:34

I hope you are wearing flame-retardant knickers...

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2013 22:35

Meh! There are a million and one different styles of parenting

I don't have time to think about any of them other than my own

As long as the child is fed, warm and loved.

Yorkieaddict · 07/09/2013 22:35

YABU. Just because she is not doing it how you would does not make her wrong. As long as the basics are there and the baby is loved, there is no problem.

bluehearted · 07/09/2013 22:36

I moved my DS into his own room at 6 weeks old, he didn't like his Moses basket and he slept better in his own room and we didn't have room for his cot in our room. So you are being unreasonable on that front. But as for the not feeding him when he wakes up, I don't agree with that!

Lots will come on and say you need to mind your own business I'm afraid.

Finola1step · 07/09/2013 22:36

So she's an experienced parent, with a six year old who I presume is all happy and healthy?

Your friend parents differently to you. It's no big deal.

BramblyHedge · 07/09/2013 22:37

What age are your children before i judge you.

coraltoes · 07/09/2013 22:37

What one parent sees as nice mothering, another sees as making a rod for her back. Leave well enough alone

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 07/09/2013 22:39

Hahaha BOF - I haven't got those knickers on at the moment, let me go and hunt them out. I haven't had to wear them for a while Grin

Like I said, I know he is safe, warm, loved and fed etc and they can parent him however they choose, it's just he still seems so young.

I can just tell I'm going to be one of those nightmare mom's who never puts their baby down Grin

OP posts:
MissOtisRegretsMadam · 07/09/2013 22:40

How old are your dc?

How would your friend feel if she read your post?
The first few weeks are hard with a new baby especially when you have an older dc. Maybe she is trying to make sure she still has time with her older dc so he doesn't feel left out.

MissOtisRegretsMadam · 07/09/2013 22:41

Ah I'm guessing you don't have your own children yet?

AnneEyhtMeyer · 07/09/2013 22:41

Are you saying you don't have DC, Writer?

Finola1step · 07/09/2013 22:43

Shakes head and walks away from thread

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 07/09/2013 22:43

I don't have a baby yet - currently expecting my first Grin.
I'm pretty sure I will have a completely different perspective soon, haha.

Like I said, this is all tongue in cheek, of course she knows what she's doing - I guess I just felt bad for him when she was talking about his feeding regime..... Smile

OP posts:
WithConfidence · 07/09/2013 22:43

OMG, you don't have dc yet? You need some kind of nuclear bunker to hide in. Good luck op.

BramblyHedge · 07/09/2013 22:43

You can put babies down without them breaking and if she has a six year old she will know this.

SnakePlisskensMum · 07/09/2013 22:43

Neither of my kids ever slept in my room, they are both happy, well balanced and very loved. When you're over the first few years you begin to understand how irrelevant the early years are, assuming they are loved of course.

SaucyJack · 07/09/2013 22:43

I think you're getting the wrong end of the stick about his morning routine. It would just not be possible to bath a hungry two week old, or make him wait until his brother had finished breakfast.

I'm sure your friend knows what she is doing.

HandMini · 07/09/2013 22:44

This - As long as the child is fed, warm and loved..

Please please save your righteous indignation for when it matters.

A playmat FFS while mother has a cup of tea and chat with her "friend" (you). What a bitch.

SaucyJack · 07/09/2013 22:44

Oh, and we all think we'll never want to put our own babies down......

rootypig · 07/09/2013 22:44

Oh man you don't have kids? You're really going to get it in the neck now Grin

Anyway YANBU. Sounds dreadful to me, poor wee thing.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 07/09/2013 22:45

I think bitch is a bit harsh!

But I can take the hint, lol - I'm being seriously unreasonable!!!

OP posts:
MissOtisRegretsMadam · 07/09/2013 22:45

I hope your friend doesn't come and visit you with your newborn and come away and start a thread about your parenting or not...

I'd call this more kick in teeth than tongue in cheek.

hotncold · 07/09/2013 22:46

A playmat? On the other side of the SAME ROOM. you say?

How very fucking negligent of her to do that in a room full of blood-thirsty lions who haven't been fed for 48 hours. You are absolutely not being unreasonable!!

Oh, I'm sorry, what's that you said? The woman just put her baby on a playmat in the same room as her.

No lions.

No danger.

Just...well...you and your weirdness.

YABU.

TallGiraffe · 07/09/2013 22:46

Please come back in a year to update your feelings OP Grin

TeamEdward · 07/09/2013 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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