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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to rescue my friend's baby...

187 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 07/09/2013 22:33

Firstly, when I say 'rescue' I mean it tongue in cheek as he is not in any danger at all Smile

Do you find it hard to watch other children parent their child in a way you either wouldn't do yourself or cannot understand?

A friend of mine recently had a baby and I first went to visit when he was about a week old. She fed him then put him on one of those play mats on the opposite side of the room and left him there whilst coming back to chat to me. He was really restless, fractious, waving his arms and legs around etc. I made a comment about him being active and she told me that being on the floor is the best place for them....needless to say I went and picked him up after a few minutes, after having asked if I could have a cuddle and he settled straight away.

I then visited a week later and she started telling me about his 'routine' which involves him not being allowed to be fed until after his morning bath and until they have sorted out their other son who is 6. She told me she doesn't want the baby of getting in the habit of thinking he can have food as soon as he wakes up....I wanted to scream, "He's 2 weeks old for God's Sake!"

And now I learn he has been moved into his own room and he is only just over 6 weeks of age.

AIBU to feel a bit Hmm

I know parents can bring up their children however they like but he is still such a little baby. I'd want him near me all the time....

OP posts:
FrussoHathor · 08/09/2013 23:22

writer I'd like to say yes, but my fb is very independent, dc2 is very dependant (asd) and DC3 is pfb all over again.

AndAnother · 08/09/2013 23:29

OP you're beginning to worry me now with your nice replies.

'I wonder sometimes if its because of how we were parented ourselves?' Yes, of course it is unfortunately You sound lovely and you will be fine, regardless Smile

VaultFullOfTwizzlers · 08/09/2013 23:32

A SW in my town was all over the local news for boasting about what a "powerful" moment in her "career" it was when three DC were taken - all over her Facebook page!

I went to school with her and she was known for being a bit dim. Dim enough, in fact, that the parents saw her post because as bad as what she had posted was, she didn't even utilise the privacy settings.

So I sort of distrust the lot of them.

Turniphead1 · 08/09/2013 23:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

BrianTheMole · 09/09/2013 13:07

You sound very angry silverstreak. Do you have a child who has subsequently been adopted then?

SilverStreak7 · 09/09/2013 13:10

No BrianTheMole I do not but I know a fair few who have . .via said Family Courts ...

BrianTheMole · 09/09/2013 13:15

How can you be so certain that those children weren't at risk of future emotional harm?

MrRected · 09/09/2013 13:20

Poor you OP. I don't think you meant any harm. Fwiw - I have 3 children and probably wouldn't have left my newborn on a playmat at 1 week old. I found that my babies liked to be swaddled and snug in their pram or cradle or being cuddled. I did put all of them in their own rooms by 8 weeks old so that we could all get some sleep thoug.

kilmuir · 09/09/2013 13:22

Op i think you will make a more nuturing mother than your friend

OctopusPete8 · 09/09/2013 13:24

I think you're friends routine is a bit Shock but each to their own.

Wuxiapian · 09/09/2013 13:24

YABalittleU, Writer.

Everyone's parenting style is different.

Youre soon to be a mum, so, no doubt you'll have tonnes of advice from well-meaning friends and family, but what works for you and baby, works.

MrRected · 09/09/2013 13:29

Just thread the whole thread - OP in the 11 years I have been using this site I don't think I have ever come across such a gracious AIBUer. You have been flamed to hell and back. Yet you remain calm and composed.

On this basis alone - I think you are going to be an awesome mum!!!!

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