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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that girls only parties at 3 are not the norm?

272 replies

Redpipe · 07/09/2013 18:47

I have a 3 year old boy and there is a party for one of the girls at his nursery. The nursery only has 8 kids in his area. They do all their activities together and get on well (as well as 3-4 year old do!). All 6 girls have been invited to one of the girls party but neither boys have been invited because apparently "the party is just for girls and will have a girly theme"

AIBU to think that party invites by gender are not the norm for this age and just help to start the whole boys are different thing. I can't put my finger on it but it just doesn't feel right to me.

OP posts:
pongping · 07/09/2013 18:48

God, how unspeakably depressing.

YANBU

TeaLadyExtraordinaire · 07/09/2013 18:51

She'll probably serve them pink Muller Yoghurts Grin

Original poster
Redpipe · 07/09/2013 18:52

tealady Grin

OP posts:
NoComet · 07/09/2013 18:57

Not the norm, but they would have been a lot easier.

Memories of fairy and pirate plates, convincing DDs that under the sea or jungle themes were good and hoping the few boys there when they were older wouldn't mind hearts.

Avoiding gender theming parties without DDs noticing and complaining they wanted fairies etc. is fairly easy at 3, but it gets rapidly harder.

cece · 07/09/2013 18:58

My 4 year old had a boys only party. Biscuit

candycoatedwaterdrops · 07/09/2013 19:00

Perhaps it's just a way to cut down on numbers?

Original poster
Redpipe · 07/09/2013 19:01

cece
I am interested to know whether that excluded a few or half a class or was it just close friends?

OP posts:
scaevola · 07/09/2013 19:01

Perhaps the parents need to limit numbers, and felt that basing it on sex was preferable to making a more obvious statement about who their DC likes or not (given that it changes every week anyhow).

Original poster
Redpipe · 07/09/2013 19:02

candycoatedwaterdrops
I am fairly sure that numbers wouldn't be cut down for space or financial reasons.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 07/09/2013 19:02

My four year old Spider-Man loving ds is more than happy to eat cake from a pink fairy plate.

wonderingsoul · 07/09/2013 19:03

i think its pretty sad, esp if they are good friend with the boys,

even a princess theme can include boys being prince's. and im sure there was girl pirates..even if they had to pretend ot be men!

but maybe the birthday girl only wanted the people who where there..and it jusy happened to be all girls?

cardibach · 07/09/2013 19:03

Bu Star why would small boys object to fairies? How do they know it is girly ?

Original poster
Redpipe · 07/09/2013 19:03

I would also add that would 2 more really make that much difference anyhow.

OP posts:
GoldenGytha · 07/09/2013 19:04

My elder daughter had parties with both boys and girls.

My younger one always had girls only ones, she only had friends that were female til she was about 7.

I don't see a problem with girls/boys only parties.

Original poster
Redpipe · 07/09/2013 19:05

I would put money on it that the party girl didn't choose the guest list because they all play together and she plays quite a bit with the other boy.

OP posts:
OutragedFromLeeds · 07/09/2013 19:08

YANBU

We've never had or been invited to a single sex party, always been mixed and that's 4 DC's worth of parties (eldest is 9).

They've been a few single sex birthday outings, but that's understandable when you can only invite 3/4 closest friends.

Original poster
Redpipe · 07/09/2013 19:09

Can I ask GoldenGytha and others who don't see a problem with it,

if it was 8 girls and 6 were invited and 2 were excluded would that be ok?

Just curious to know not trying to argue

OP posts:
missmapp · 07/09/2013 19:12

No, we've never had a single sex party( two ds' here) Ds2 had his 6th party this week and chose to invite a mix of boys and girls- didn't change the 'theme'.

Ds1 had just come back from a 9th party which was boys and girls and is quite happy with his pink sweety party bag ( sugar is sugar after all)

FourGates · 07/09/2013 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UniS · 07/09/2013 19:13

Its not very unusual. Parents decide they only want o have X number of children with X being all the girls( or all the boys) or they decide on a sparkly pink theme and thinks boys won't like it. Its pity, but not worth getting your knickers in a twist about. The kids all play together when they are at nursery together and that will continue regardless of who goes to a birthday party.

Original poster
Redpipe · 07/09/2013 19:15

So Unis would mind answering my earlier question.

If it was 8 girls and 2 were excluded would that be ok?

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 07/09/2013 19:17

I hate this. My DD has been excluded from a number of her very best friends parties at age 4 and 5 because they're boys and their parents arranged "boys" parties. Utterly stupid.

SirChenjin · 07/09/2013 19:17

YANBU. If it was a number thing then fair enough but that doesn't sound like the case here, and so to start genderising parties and themes at such a young age and excluding those children who don't have the requisite genitals is just sad.

NiceTabard · 07/09/2013 19:17

No I think that is odd. The idea of segregating by sex at 3 is utterly depressing.

I also don't understand why you need a gendered theme at 3, TBH. Ours always had mixed parties and it was pass the parcel, musical statues, bubble machine in the garden and running around. All the children enjoyed themselves.

Why are some people so red hot keen on segregating, creating and enforcing "difference"? Especially with toddlers for crying out loud.

SunshineMMum · 07/09/2013 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.