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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to date someone who texts at 6:30 am waking me up

162 replies

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 08:50

I've recently been in text conversations with a guy who seems nice, but possibly a little lacking in phone etiquette.

I would never text someone I didn't know well (except in an emergency) between the hours of 10 pm and 9 am. I have no idea what their sleeping preferences are and I would not want to wake them.

Today this guy decided to text me at 6:30 am, to say nothing very important. I think this was rude, seeing as he does not know me. I could not get back to sleep afterwards so I am now awake, tired (but unable to sleep) and grumpy. My phone needed to be on because it has my alarm clock.

I am now really put off the guy. AIBU to be so fussy I won't date a guy just because he does not follow what I consider to be phone etiquette norms, and woke me up and made me grumpy?

OP posts:
LegoAcupuncture · 27/08/2013 08:52

You're being a bit odd. From your reaction I'd guess you're not really into this bloke anyway, so best to end it now if this is how you react to a text.

AKissIsNotAContract · 27/08/2013 08:52

I think YABU. A simple solution would be to ask him to only text you after 9am but if you don't want to date him then don't.

Mimstar · 27/08/2013 08:52

YABU, it's a little thoughtless perhaps but I imagine he just wanted to show an interest. But don't listen to me, I love having a nice text to wake up to :)

Original poster
justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 08:53

Probably odd, but like I said, I'm tired and grumpy, and it's the guy's fault.

You're right, I probably should end it.

OP posts:
frustratedashell · 27/08/2013 08:53

Can you not politely tell him that you don't like texts or calls between those times?

LovesBeingOnHoliday · 27/08/2013 08:53

I understand what you mean but think he's more into you than you are to him.

MonstersDontCry · 27/08/2013 08:54

Put your phone on silent if you don't want to be woken up. This shouldn't affect the alarm. Or just buy an alarm clock.

Original poster
justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 08:54

I could, but I shouldn't have to.

Surely thats just politeness not to wake a sleeping person when its not an emergency?

OP posts:
ArabellaBeaumaris · 27/08/2013 08:54

Are you sure the alarm doesn't work even if you have your phone on silent? All my phones, even the ancient ones, have managed that.

redexpat · 27/08/2013 08:54

I would dump anyone who tried to contact me a such an hour. If he's a morning person and you're not, it will never work.

MagicHouse · 27/08/2013 08:55

That would put me off! If you like him, maybe you could talk to him about it. But I would worry he's a bit obsessed if he's texting at half 6. Especially if you've just been texting rather than meeting. Not always, but people who are overkeen too quickly can often run a mile once the relationship gets going anyway.

usualsuspect · 27/08/2013 08:55

You obviously don't like him that much.

So don't date him.

ViviPru · 27/08/2013 08:55

YABU if that's his only crime. My crappy phone signal means texts regularly come through at 3am and the like so I have no concept of this being a massive no-no.

Like Lego says, sounds like you're not that fussed about him anyway.

FreudiansSlipper · 27/08/2013 08:55

i do not think you are being fussy that is too needy to text just to say nothing at 630

wait until you at least know them

livinginwonderland · 27/08/2013 08:56

Put your phone on silent. It's pretty simple. Phone alarms still work if your phone is on silent.

You can't bitch at being woken up by a text if you've left your phone on loud.

Original poster
justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 08:56

I probably could spend 10-15 minutes fiddling with the phone settings to make it silent for texts/ phone calls, but noisy for the alarm. But it also lit up the screen, so the light would wake me up anyway.

OP posts:
CreatureRetorts · 27/08/2013 08:56

Bit silly to complain if your phone was on noisy.

MusicalEndorphins · 27/08/2013 08:57

Buy an actual clock?

RabbitFromAHat · 27/08/2013 08:57

You clearly can't like him if this puts you off! I probably wouldn't text someone at that hour, but then I would also assume they had their phone turned off - which is of course the only way to make sure you don't get woken by messages.

Also my alarm still works even when my phone is actually turned off, and it's a £20 piece of crap, so I'm sure yours will too.

PasswordProtected · 27/08/2013 08:59

That is nothing, toyboy has been known to send an sms at 04:00 when on nights & a bit bored. However, I can turn the sound off on my phone, but tge alarm still works and rings accordingly. Can you do that?

Original poster
justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 08:59

Buy an actual clock?

Why would I go to the effort of buying a clock to stop texts from one guy who I am not that interested in? Surely cheaper to drop the guy?

OP posts:
Poosnu · 27/08/2013 09:00

My now DH used to do this before we lived together. I loved waking up to a text from him (I kept my phone on silent when I was in bed). It might have been a bit much on his part but I really liked him so it didn't put me off at all.

I think you probably don't like this guy enough to date him.

nurseneedshelp · 27/08/2013 09:00

Think it's lovely to wake up to a text! He obviously really likes you, its not that early tbh!

You sound very very fussy and don't sound as though you particularly like him!

Bunbaker · 27/08/2013 09:01

Am I the only person who actually switches my phone off at night?

We have a landline and an alarm clock, so there is no need to keep my mobile on at night. If there was a family problem they would ring the landline anyway.

DizzyPurple · 27/08/2013 09:01

Just mention it to him and ask him not to text so early. Lots of people have their phones off overnight and the alarm should still work. He probably was up just thinking of you and wanted to say hi. Think you're making a big deal out of nothing myself.