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AIBU?

To not want to date someone who texts at 6:30 am waking me up

162 replies

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 08:50

I've recently been in text conversations with a guy who seems nice, but possibly a little lacking in phone etiquette.

I would never text someone I didn't know well (except in an emergency) between the hours of 10 pm and 9 am. I have no idea what their sleeping preferences are and I would not want to wake them.

Today this guy decided to text me at 6:30 am, to say nothing very important. I think this was rude, seeing as he does not know me. I could not get back to sleep afterwards so I am now awake, tired (but unable to sleep) and grumpy. My phone needed to be on because it has my alarm clock.

I am now really put off the guy. AIBU to be so fussy I won't date a guy just because he does not follow what I consider to be phone etiquette norms, and woke me up and made me grumpy?

OP posts:

Report

BlehPukeVomit · 27/08/2013 09:29

If you have iOS6 then your iphone will have a 'DO NOT DISTURB' option as one of the first options in the General settings.
You simply switch it on when you go to bed. The alarm will work regardless.

It takes less than five seconds.

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:29

Bleh: I always wondered what that setting did!

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Rooners · 27/08/2013 09:31

If someone's texts are 'just a bit crap and annoying' then yes, dump him now.

That's not how it should feel - whatever the time of day issues.

If you need an excuse to dump him though - not sure if this is a very good one.

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:32

With regards to the alarm going off whilst the phone is switched off, it doesn't seem to be working...

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BlehPukeVomit · 27/08/2013 09:32

It actually takes 1 second to put the. Phone onto DO NOT DISTURB. . I timed myself

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:34

That's very fast bleh, but it did only take me 7 seconds. Mainly because my phone is slow and froze for 5 seconds at the setting screen.

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BlehPukeVomit · 27/08/2013 09:36

Is your alarm the IPhone alarm or a third party App. The DO NOT DISTURB feature will only work with the IPhones alarm.

500internalerror · 27/08/2013 09:37

The point of texts is that they are not obtrusive ; the recipient can reply when they want. Combined with sound off, this makes them the ideal way to keep in touch.

6.30 is also not that early for many people - it depends on your life and perspective!

LokiTheCynicalCat · 27/08/2013 09:37

I was waiting for someone to say "use the DND function"!

Mine is on a timer. All emails, calls and texts from 10pm to 7am every day are silent and the phone does not light up, unless I'm already using it and the handset is unlocked.

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:40

Loki, how do you set a timer?

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LessMissAbs · 27/08/2013 09:42

It could be that you are picking up on something that make you uncomfortable with this. I have had this off guys in the past, and I thought it was because they were checking up on you, that you were alone and could reply, or that they wanted you to know they were checking up on you. If you aren't into that sort of relationship, its very odd and annoying.

Some guys are weird. I'm happily married, but some guy I'd never met off Facebook started liking all my photos, texting me, cue polite, terse reply from me, then ignore. Then the next morning I had a missed call from the same number at 6.06am - really weird.

If you're not into that sort of thing (and I think its a bad sign that someone can't respect the etiquette of another person sleeping) then its very off putting.

blueshoes · 27/08/2013 09:42

I wake up at 6.15. 6.30 is not that early for me. Some people text going into work on the train/tube at that time, esp parents. I wouldn't think it particularly creepy or stalkerish to receive a text around midnight or early morning this time - I just assume these people are busy.

I prefer email for non-real time communication but text instead because not everyone checks email regularly.

norkmonster · 27/08/2013 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:43

I'm a teacher, during term time 6:30 would be the normal time I would get up for work.

But I'm currently enjoying the last week of the summer holidays, including lie-ins and was pretty upset this morning to have that lie-in spoilt.

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TroublesomeEx · 27/08/2013 09:46

Yep, definitely dump the guy.

Nothing nicer than being woken up by a text from someone you really like

I text people whenever I think of something I want to tell them. I assume that if they don't want to be disturbed, they'll have put the phone on silent like everyone else does!

My alarm goes off even if the phone is on silent.

BlehPukeVomit · 27/08/2013 09:47

You really need to learn how to use your IPhone... How about downloading the following free app?

Tip and Tricks - IPhone Secrets

Hassled · 27/08/2013 09:47

The Do Not Disturb function is your friend here - I have it on between 11pm and 7am. This was prompted by Orange, the bunch of Spam texting wankers, texting me repeatedly at 2am with shite, and then telling me (when I rang to complain) that there was nothing they could do about it.

So - alarm works, and calls from contacts listed in your Favourites get through (this is for neurotic in-my-head scenarios of adult DCs getting arrested etc). But nothing else.

Hassled · 27/08/2013 09:48

But also dump the guy. He seems thoughtless.

blueshoes · 27/08/2013 09:48

OP, at the risk of stating the obvious, not everyone works as a teacher with all summer off work. You flipped a switch in your head that most people do not.

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:48

I think my phone vibrates when on silent, so that would wake me up. I could turn off the vibrate, but I like to have it for when I misplace my phone (fairly frequently) and need to call it.

Usually I use find my iPhone, but sometimes don't have a computer around and it's easier just to use someone else's phone to call mine. If the phone is silent with no vibrate it is much harder to find.

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Thepursuitofhappiness · 27/08/2013 09:49

With the iPhone it ha a 'do not disturb' function in the settings. This means it will be silent for texts, emails and calls unless it is 'emergency' (you specify people that you want to hear the call from, I.e parents).

Problem solved.

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:49

Sorry, I should have mentioned, the guy in question is also a teacher (different school)

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TheSecondComing · 27/08/2013 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justtoofussy · 27/08/2013 09:49

Hassled how do I time the DND?

OP posts:

livinginwonderland · 27/08/2013 09:51

Uh, if you don't want your lie-ins spoilt, why risk getting woken up by having your phone on loud? It's not like it's unavoidable, like roadworks or traffic or something.

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