To not want to date someone who texts at 6:30 am waking me up

[justtoofussy]

I've recently been in text conversations with a guy who seems nice, but possibly a little lacking in phone etiquette.

I would never text someone I didn't know well (except in an emergency) between the hours of 10 pm and 9 am. I have no idea what their sleeping preferences are and I would not want to wake them.

Today this guy decided to text me at 6:30 am, to say nothing very important. I think this was rude, seeing as he does not know me. I could not get back to sleep afterwards so I am now awake, tired (but unable to sleep) and grumpy. My phone needed to be on because it has my alarm clock.

I am now really put off the guy. AIBU to be so fussy I won't date a guy just because he does not follow what I consider to be phone etiquette norms, and woke me up and made me grumpy?

[SourSweets]

I used to get the bus to work at 5.30am every morning (now on maternity leave and wishing 5.30 was the earliest I had to wake) and I'd text people at that time because I'd forget otherwise. No-one ever had a problem with it, they just responded when it was convenient for them. Stop dwelling on something so trivial and find someone you actually like, is my opinion.

[LessMissAbs]

Perhaps the OP isn't that desperate for a date Nigel.

You dont have to be receptive to every man that gives you attention, you know.

[Latara]

You are just not that into him.

If there was chemistry then you wouldn't care what time he texts.

But it bothers you so you can't fancy him enough - dump him.

[Latara]

PS. there would have to be chemistry there for me not to think it's too early in the day!

[Lweji]

I think one of the issues is that a lot of people treat texts like phone calls.
Texts should be non-urgent contacts, which can be answered at any time.
Then why have alert sounds that are just as annoying and loud as a ring tone?

By only having a single beep, I can be aware of when I receive a message (if I'm within reach and awake), but it doesn't disturb me at all.

[justtoofussy]

I've had a look into the DND feature, and even though I can see how to turn off phone calls, there doesn't seem to be a turn off texts feature, which is a little disappointing.

I'm also a bit hesitant about blocking calls from non "favourites" e.g. a hospital calling me to tell me a relative was ill/injured would obviously not be in my favourites list, and I would miss the call.

I could put the phone on silent, but I would still be woken up by the vibrations and lit up screen.

I have sent him a text, asking him not to text before 9. I think it's fair to give him a chance. If he continues to text too early despite being asked not to, I'm not going to bother.

[LessMissAbs]

Lweji Texts should be non-urgent contacts, which can be answered at any time

Why? Where does it say that? People use texting differently, personally not one of my friends would dream of texting me at that time in the morning, because they are aware that not everyone would welcome it/have their phone switched to silent or whatever.

Further, the OP wouldn't perhaps have got such quick notification that the guy is a bit odd in relation to boundaries. I agree that if there were chemistry she wouldn't mind, but pushing the boundaries too early or with someone who is unfamiliar with you is totally crass and cringeworthy.

Most animals use various cues which if the male gets them wrong, mean they are unlikely to be received well. To suggest that this basic biological rule doesn't apply to humans because, well, some women are apparently so desperate for a sliver of male attention that they will overlook anything, is ridiculous.

[CooEeeEldridge]

JUST TURN THE TEXT TONE OFF! Is it really this hard? Really?! Who is going to text in an emergency?! Phone calls can still get through then, and texts won't disturb you. I'm up before 6 and wouldn't think twice about replying to texts / email / Facebook at that time, id assume people would have alerts off if didn't wish to be disturbed.

[OddSockBox]

Everyone's different, I turn my phone off at night but the alarm switches my phone on so that's OK.

[justtoofussy]

oddsock: I tested this with my iPhone and it definitely doesn't turn itself on to play the alarm.

As soon as I turned on the phone manually, the alarm sounded (late) but that would only be ok if I were awake at the right time to turn it on to begin with!

[BlehPukeVomit]

Aggghhhh! JustTooFussy. You need to set DND to allow calls, NOT disallow texts.

Try this..
Setting > Notifications > Do Not Disturb >

Then Turn on scheduled and choose the times you wish not to be disturbed by text/email etc notifications. This means DND will automatically be activated every night.

Then choose who you wish to Allow Calls From. (I guess you want to allow calls from Everyone

Then you don't need to do anything at night as it is all set up. You will receive calls and your alarm will work but that's it.

If you are still struggling try watching some YouTube videos or asking for some real life help. [

[HawthornLantern]

My iPhone is quite elderly (3GS) but it will play the alarm even when the sound is turned off. So I don't get middle of the night calls and texts (which is important to me as I have people who do call and text and who don't live in my time zone).