AIBU to think leaving a 7 month baby to work ft is too young?

[LostMarbles99]

I have to go back to work but I really don't want to leave my baby.

Dc is only 7 months, it's too young isn't it?

Dh will do 2 days care, dm 1 day and childminder 2 days, but that's not time with me!

AIBU to think 7 months is too young to abandon baby?

Will he feel abandoned?

Who on earth has criticised parents who dont wish to use childcare?
Honestly retropear I sometimes wonder whether you're on the same thread . No one is saying that parents who don't want to use nurseries or childminders must use them. We're just saying that those of us who do choose to use them, make careful informed decisions about it

Janey

Was it you whose children went to the lovely nursery that was like a mini zoo?
I am very anti childcare for my dc as you probably know, but I can remember commenting on how unusual and lovely it sounded.
I think it would be marvellous if all nurseries were like this, I might (shock horror) have sent my dc for a couple of hours

sorry, missed your last post Janey, mine wasn't a response to yours

I think we're all agreed that that good quality childcare is vitally important, just as we want our children to go to good schools, eat good food etc etc
Generally there are far more childcare options now than in the past... Nurseries haven't been around for that long, in the past there was less choice; I seem to remember when I was young that most mums of young children couldn't work as proper registered childcare was unheard of; if mums did work it was usually a case of getting auntie or neighbour to do a bit of unofficial minding.
Like with most things, we can always say things can be improved upon, but, honestly, when I look at the options in my local area it's really pretty good... We have a number of day nurseries and registered childminders.

Reading this thread with interest. I am really surprised about the opinion of nurseries. When i was looking into the options of going back to work we looked at both CMs and nurseries. The CMs we met didn't impress us at all, they all seemed to be mums who wanted to do their day to day things with their dc and make extra cash. A friend also had the same experience - The tellies were always on, there were hardly any toys and none seemed to want to even interact with the babies, just wanted to give a list of things they didn't do. The nurseries otoh were fab. Seemed so warm and flexible and had so much activity and space for DS. When we looked at the figures and the logistics tho we just couldn't manage me working. So we opted for me to sah.

Perhaps i am being over sensitive but i do really hate comments like Pointy's My DDs are 10 and 12 and they understand that you have to work to keep a roof over your head, there are no free lunches and money does not come falling out of the sky. Valuable lessons from working parents. As if me being at home will make my dc think these things, or that anyone who grew up with a sahp does not understand the value of money or have a work ethic. Some of us would love the option to work but it isn't feasible. No need to make us feel guilty, or imply that we are not teaching our dc essential life lessons if we don't.

Mrskoala- of course your children won't grow up not understanding the value of money. Having loving, involved, caring parents is the key thing. Whether you work or not is very much secondary to that. You can be a good SAH or working parent, or a bad SAH or working parent

If it's any help, I grew up with two parents working FT and it taught me nothing about the value of money. I was pretty keen to spend my parents hard earned cash and it was only earning it myself that changed that.

Thanks Janey. Yes i see your point breathes. My parents both worked ft and we had lots of disposable income. They consider not getting 8 different cheeses and then not eating them and throwing them away a hardship. They have no concept of money because they have always had loads. I learned from a young age that their spending money and unwillingness to go without luxuries was more important than my happiness. i was sent to some really shocking 'CMs' so have an urge not to do that to DS - However, if i found one i thought would be warm and cuddly with him i wouldn't hesitate. I also recognise the 'CMs' i went to were not proper ones and just random women (or later mums from the school i went to) - i don't think there was anywhere near the legislation or training they have now.

I assume when you say leave them you actually mean leave them with an adult who is able to respond to their needs in which case of course it's okay. Your baby will still thrive and flourish, and I say that as someone who has always been a SAHM but not necessarily through deliberate choice. Really, it's fine OP.

In my experience of working in childcare in the past I think one of the main benefits is making the child sociable, talkative and confident. I do think this comes from being around such a wide range of people as they grow up, so by the time school rolls round they are used to talking to everyone.

That is only anecdotal of course, but we often had people coming in with shy children and their parents saying they arent used other people/so many children etc but nursery often changed that and brought them out of their shell like the ones that started younger.

I will also add the earlier they start its actually easier,before 1 you dont often have to do settling in as they are so young they arent bothered usually.

Mars koala CMs are vey different now(I was an Outstanding one) and the scrutiny/paperwork/standards expected from Ofsted made my dsis's nanny quake.Have to say I found the amount of paperwork and prep almost on a par with that I experienced as a teacher.

I'm sure I read Ofsted are actually cracking down on those only deemed as Satisfactory ie they won't be able to practise soon.