To think this woman should answer her phone if she is responsible for my son ?

[Shinyshoes1]

Or am I BU ?

My son has been dating this young girl for about 2 months it's all very intense

My son is 16 and his gf is 15 ... He frequently request to stay at her house .... I've refused for a few reasons

1. children are far more sexually aware than when i was younger ..
2. they've been hanging out for very little time although they spend every waking hour together
3. I don't know the home set up ... She has an injunction against her mum or vice versa ... There's an injunction somewhere .. She lives with her aunt
4. I don't want them rushing into anything

They all meet up in secret ...

The young girl has gone away for 10 days with her aunt leaving my son a bit crestfallen , however the mum has taken has taken him under her wing .... I've never met any of them as

1. they are 15/16 it's very early days
2. he's 16 and it's only very recently I've given him Quite a bit of freedom

He stayed over the mothers last night , as I said the daughter is on holiday , there was a " family party " he's got on with all of the family members he's met so far ...

He asked to meet the rest of the family members and he asked if he could stayed the night .....

I have just phoned to speak to her for the very first time as this is the most significant time he's spent at her hoide and I get a text

"she's cooking dinner she daid ring later "

I am pissed off as this is will be the first time I've spoken to her
My DP thinks its very strange that he's staying at the gf mothers house as she's away
Dinner can effin wait .... She's cooking for my son and Her i rvin that an effort should be made ...

I know it's not all about me and she shouldn't be at my beck and call but
I put all of my callers on speaker phone so I can prepare dinner and speak to them at the same time , I I did this with my sister earlier today
Why is my son texting the message , why don't she put the potato peeler down and send a text or like I say just press the speaker button
I just find it rude
Very rude

do you understand that a child cannot legally consent to sex?

Pedantic correction follows...

In another thread here we established that a child aged 13-15 can legally consent to sex. If a 16-year-old had sex with a 12-year-old that would be rape, because a 12-year-old cannot legally consent. It is still a crime for the 16-year-old to have sex with a 15-year-old, but the crime isn't rape, because a 15-year-old can legally consent to sex.

Yabu. Relax a bit, he is 16. Technically he could live on his own.

You take your backside off mn for a minute you get in the car and you go and find out where the hell your 16 year old son is and who he is with!!!

You let him go stay with an adult you don't know, who may or may not have an injuction either against her or her dd, you feel the responsibility lies with her to answer your calls regarding you son

You have had a fast one pulled on you op go get him and work on the lines of communication with him, also I would have a frank discussion on sex and sex with a minor!!

And I would bet my bottom dollar he's having sex he's a16 year old boy what do you think he's doing with his gf?? I just hope it's not the mother he's having a relationship with.

To me all this is a tad fucking mental unreal

He's either boning his girlfriend or her mother.
Either way, he's boning

Yes he came home and got a swift telling off and told in
No uncertain terms that's he's not to stay there again

Weird setup

Did he say why he wanted to stay there and what he was getting up to? Was the gf actually away as he said or with him?

OP with all due respect a "swift telling off" doesn't necessarily mean he wont do it again! You haven't told us what really went on, I presume you now know?

I hope you got to the bottom of where he was and who he was with??

I agree a swift telling off after everything you have said doesn't seem to cut it imo.

Who was he with?
How did he get home?
Did you discuss safe sex?
Have you discussed why the injunction is in place?
Was he lying to you?

OP you seem rather over protective and you don't want your son to sleep over while his girlfriend is there in case they have sex but you are quite happy to let him stay over when she is not there with people you have never met. Also you seem a little naive. Just because he is not allowed to sleep over at her house does not mean they are not having sex. My parents didn't allow my boyfriends to sleep over in the same room but that didn't mean we didn't do it.

We've discussed sex and he tells me they are not being inappropriate with eachother

He says that he stayed over because there was a gathering and he wanted to meet some more of her family

He says the injunction is because they yell and scream at eachother .. This is what I'm finding hard to believe . The mother has one out on the daughter and I don't think you can get an injunction for screaming at your mother

He got home by bus like he normally does

Hope I've answered all your questions

I Haven't met the mother or the aunt and nan who he lives with ( this is unclear , he tells me he lives with the aunt and then said she lived with the nan ) the mother and daughter meet in secret .
They've only been together a very short time and I'm assuming at that age he will have many girlfriends , who knows perhaps they will go the distance , then I will insist in meeting then but in all honestly who is still with the partner they had when they were 15 or 16
If it looks like its getting serious i'll meet them

As for him staying over , like posters have said perhaps he likes the drama and exciting , unconventional set up

I won't be insisting he stays over anymore whilst the gf is in turkey.

And what is a 16 year old's interpretation of "inappropriate?"

I am very glad that your son is safe.

What do you mean by "won't be insisting he stays over anymore whilst the gf is in turkey"

Are you letting him stay at the girlfriend's mother's house while his girlfriend is "on holiday" ?

Surely 16 year old boys don't want to meet their girlfriends extended family, especially when she's not there.

And what's she going to think of him getting matey with her mum when she's got an injunction out against her?

It all sounds very exciting and heady when you are 16 with a very different home life. He's probably fascinated.

OP, your posts are extremely vague and confusing. I'm another one who is wondering why you said in your last post "I won't be insisting he stays over anymore whilst the gf is in turkey." It is vey difficult to understand exactly what's going on.

Did you insist he stayed there this time then?

Wishy-washy parenting at its finest!

He's told you what you want to hear, and you've swallowed it because you can't be bothered to deal with whatever the reality of the situation actually is.

They are almost certainly having sex.

How does he fund his social life with her?

Hang on. Your son wanted to stay with his GF's mother while she wasn't there to meet her family?

Well, even at my age NWIH would I want to meet a new partners family without my partner there.

I wonder if she is supplying him with drink or something? I can't see why he would want to be there and I don't quite think it is truthful that he wanted to meet her family.

None of this makes sense but then again, your posts are a little confusing.

BTW I don't know any 16 year old in an intense relationship that isn't having sex.

Maybe he really isn't but it is very unlikely that they aren't.

I am not sure why my posts are confusing , perhaps I worded it wrong . I meant that I won't be encouraging him to stay at the mums house whilst the gf is on holiday , not that I encouragd him in the first place ... I'm not articulating myself well am I

He tells me he is still a virgin and thu haven't had sex as its "early days still " his words

I'm quite proud of him if this is the truth as it shows I've brought him up well in regards to not shagging about like a lot of 16 year olds

Met DH at 15 lots of sex resulting in pregnancy at 16 married at 21 DS is 15 weeks old today.

I have no reason to believe the mother is supplying him with drink as he's never come home drunk

He gets the odd fiver here and there if he does his chores for the week. We've made it clear if he wants money or a social life he's old enough now to go get a Job in McDonald's or Starbucks . He's had a couple of job offers but he's turned them down as he'd rather see his gf so on that basis we are not supplying him with regular money , he can earn it like the rest of the countries 16 year olds

15 weeks or years? Peach?