To think this woman should answer her phone if she is responsible for my son ?

[Shinyshoes1]

Or am I BU ?

My son has been dating this young girl for about 2 months it's all very intense

My son is 16 and his gf is 15 ... He frequently request to stay at her house .... I've refused for a few reasons

1. children are far more sexually aware than when i was younger ..
2. they've been hanging out for very little time although they spend every waking hour together
3. I don't know the home set up ... She has an injunction against her mum or vice versa ... There's an injunction somewhere .. She lives with her aunt
4. I don't want them rushing into anything

They all meet up in secret ...

The young girl has gone away for 10 days with her aunt leaving my son a bit crestfallen , however the mum has taken has taken him under her wing .... I've never met any of them as

1. they are 15/16 it's very early days
2. he's 16 and it's only very recently I've given him Quite a bit of freedom

He stayed over the mothers last night , as I said the daughter is on holiday , there was a " family party " he's got on with all of the family members he's met so far ...

He asked to meet the rest of the family members and he asked if he could stayed the night .....

I have just phoned to speak to her for the very first time as this is the most significant time he's spent at her hoide and I get a text

"she's cooking dinner she daid ring later "

I am pissed off as this is will be the first time I've spoken to her
My DP thinks its very strange that he's staying at the gf mothers house as she's away
Dinner can effin wait .... She's cooking for my son and Her i rvin that an effort should be made ...

I know it's not all about me and she shouldn't be at my beck and call but
I put all of my callers on speaker phone so I can prepare dinner and speak to them at the same time , I I did this with my sister earlier today
Why is my son texting the message , why don't she put the potato peeler down and send a text or like I say just press the speaker button
I just find it rude
Very rude

But anyway OP

Wouldn't the best time to have spoken to her have been last night?

Before he stayed at her house (if that's where he is)?

Has she phoned back op?

How odd I'm with reality

I would definitely get him out of there. My dd made a friend last yr she's 17. I thought the mother was looking after my dd but she was using her. Her ds was doing drugs etc and my dd refused to be his friend unless he stopped, mum was pleased as he stopped and encouraged my dd at her home at every available opportunity. ( her ds is gay, so they weren't in a relationship). Got to the point that my ds would just walk out the house and never wanted to come home..nights in a row her father and I were pulling our hair out. I grounded my ds and this boy turns up kicking my door demanding I let her out. I called his mother who defended him and said if I was a proper parent he wouldn't act that way. Turns out she's encouraging my ds to trash talk, being a friend getting in with her etc
Seems like this mother also runs a cool house. Get your son away. Things got so bad for us that I've sen my ds to he grandparents to finish her last year of school to get her away from there influence.

Yabu, he is 16 he is responsible for himself.

I also think the story sounds a bit odd fucking crazy

I think I would personally prefer my teenager to be secretly with his girlfriend than hanging around with the girlfriend's mother who may or may not have an injunction against her own daughter.

The gf is supposedly in Turkey with the aunt or / nan .... This was booked way before my ds was on the scene , she left yesterday

I want to give him freedom somewhat , however he is still a child , he's my child , he can't vote , he can't get an adult job , he can't marry ( I think ) , he doesn't pay housekeeping , hes a child , my child , I don't expect to know where he is every second of the day , but if tables were turned I'd expect Some comms from the mother as the responsible adult I'm assuming , has taken her to turkey

As of this moment I expect her dinner to be prepared and somewhat cooking or finished ... I don't want to go in all guns a blazing but I do want her to know its my son ,my 16 year old son staying at her house

AIBU

Oh Christ dam58 ... :-( ..... How did it end

No she hadn't phoned back

Why is he staying there when the gf is away? Sounds very suspicious to me.

You're having a go at the wrong person and she is not responsible for your son, you are. I have a 16yo DS, he wouldn't be round there, end of. Why is he with a woman who his GF has an injunction out against?

I don't get why he is there though? With her mother? Who she doesn't live with, sounds very odd to me. I'd be tempted to drive round there as I think he is telling lies.

At 16, he can get an 'adult' job, he can also leave your home and live independently, without your consent.

Stop labeling him a child, and deal with the situation in hand.

He is either pulling a fast one, or he is being genuine. Either way you cannot stop him, he needs to make his own mistakes.

So I do think YABU

You can't let him behave like an adult but expect others to treat him like a child.

I don't know , he defends the mother , I don't know what's happened but I know one of them has an injunction against the other and my son is very " into " them all .. Admitting that they meet up in secret against court orders ( mother and daughter )

I suppose at 16 everything is very intense and consuming ...

Whatever happens I want to know the 'outcome'

Please keep updating

however he is still a child

He might be your son but hes not a child. And if he is in Scotland then he can marry at 16 without parental permission. You sound a bit over protective really.

They live about 40 minutes away

My son keeps telling me to " stop treating me like child" but he's 16!!!!!

16!!!! Godammit

Why on earth is his staying with the mother?

Someone is lying to you here.

All the 'he's 16 he can do what he likes' brigade are bonkers btw.

He's lying, he's there with his girlfriend.

All the 'he's 16 he can do what he likes' brigade are bonkers btw.*

Yes, that.
Until he's supporting himself, living outside your home, and carrying adult responsibilities, he's a child.

If he were my child, he'd be in a world of shit over this, too.

Doesn't sound as if the mother is there at all. That would be my first thought. I don't think any sensible person would allow your son to stay the night if his girlfriend was away. Something fishy going on. That's for sure.

Are you sure its not the mother he's seeing?
I know that sounds ridiculous but it happens.
At any rate, something is off here, whatever it is.

Knowing that there was some sort of injunction (why don't you know for definite who and what for?) why did you agree to him staying there?

And why don't you go now and fetch him?

It's the fact that this bizarre sleepover is even happening that's the issue, not that the woman didn't speak to you. Did you try to stop your son from going?

And btw, he IS still a child and she does have a right to be worried.

All I know is when I was younger I would say I was staying at someone's house when I was really off elsewhere .......