To think this woman should answer her phone if she is responsible for my son ?

[Shinyshoes1]

Or am I BU ?

My son has been dating this young girl for about 2 months it's all very intense

My son is 16 and his gf is 15 ... He frequently request to stay at her house .... I've refused for a few reasons

1. children are far more sexually aware than when i was younger ..
2. they've been hanging out for very little time although they spend every waking hour together
3. I don't know the home set up ... She has an injunction against her mum or vice versa ... There's an injunction somewhere .. She lives with her aunt
4. I don't want them rushing into anything

They all meet up in secret ...

The young girl has gone away for 10 days with her aunt leaving my son a bit crestfallen , however the mum has taken has taken him under her wing .... I've never met any of them as

1. they are 15/16 it's very early days
2. he's 16 and it's only very recently I've given him Quite a bit of freedom

He stayed over the mothers last night , as I said the daughter is on holiday , there was a " family party " he's got on with all of the family members he's met so far ...

He asked to meet the rest of the family members and he asked if he could stayed the night .....

I have just phoned to speak to her for the very first time as this is the most significant time he's spent at her hoide and I get a text

"she's cooking dinner she daid ring later "

I am pissed off as this is will be the first time I've spoken to her
My DP thinks its very strange that he's staying at the gf mothers house as she's away
Dinner can effin wait .... She's cooking for my son and Her i rvin that an effort should be made ...

I know it's not all about me and she shouldn't be at my beck and call but
I put all of my callers on speaker phone so I can prepare dinner and speak to them at the same time , I I did this with my sister earlier today
Why is my son texting the message , why don't she put the potato peeler down and send a text or like I say just press the speaker button
I just find it rude
Very rude

I have never said I feel he can "do what he likes" because he's 16 - but as a parent you have to recognise hes not a child and the more you say "no" the more they will want to do the complete opposite, treating a 16 year old like a child is a mistake.

16yo's in the main are still children IMO. There is no way I would allow my 16yo to be living in that situation. He might look like an adult, but he is certainly not an adult.

I would be having misgivings about DS1(18) living with that woman if the GF had an injunction out against her. I couldn't do anything, but I would be giving advice.

why didn't you speak to her before he went if it is so important she knows he is your child staying there?

nucking futs- the lot of ya!

Definitely think your son is lying.

I think you may need to be less overbearing. 16 I'm afraid is grown-up.

If he's a child then his parents are responsible for him and for where he goes.

Update

I don't know what to make of this

DP has phoned and summoned him home and he said " Ok "
I'm Really confused , albeit grateful to DP ....

What happens next ?

Bloody hell! Is this really reality for some families- taking out injunctions against one another then meeting up in secret?

I'm going back to my little fluffy cloud.

If the gf IS away why would the mum want a 16 year old boy to stay... I find that more worrying than the fact that he might be somewhere else?

Sorry but if you are going to treat him aas a child, get ovetr there & bring him home! If not, then it isn't up to the "mum" to phone you or peak to you, it's your son you need to be talking to!

I don't think the OP is being unreasonable. How many of you who say say she is being unreasonable have 16 year olds?

The whole story just doesn't add up and that is why I would worry.

sweetestcup-A_

I hear what you're saying , But , how do u stop it ?Wwyd In my situation

wtf!

OP you don't sound at all like you have a clue what you're doing- why grateful to DP?

He could be sleeping with the mother of course

My cousin (mum's brothers dd) isn't allowed to see her mother unsupervised. Mothers boyfriend is a convicted paedophile and social services removed both children.

The dd (15) goes to extreme and secretive lengths to see her mother still.

This whole situation is screaming alarm bells at me.

Why on earth have you let your young son go on a sleepover with an adult woman you don't know? Bizarre.

And whilst he will always be your child, he is old enough to join the army and be killed for his country; to leave home; to get married

He is a young man

So, he's either sleeping with his 15 year old girlfriend, which is illegal as she's underage.
Or, there's something going on with her mother, which is a whole different ball-game.

WTAF?

How many of you who say say she is being unreasonable have 16 year olds?

Well my eldest is 20, Ive been there - does that count?

oh, this is all very odd

How many family parties last for days?
If there is an injunction between mother/daughter how does he know her mother at all let alone well enough to be "taken under her wing"?

I think he's been fibbing to you OP

And whilst he will always be your child, he is old enough to join the army and be killed for his country; to leave home; to get married He is a young man

Not at all - he's old enough to become a young man by doing one or all of those things.
Plus? Your roof, your rules. You are not over-reacting. I do think YABU to expect the mother to interrupt her dinner to speak to you.

I also think YWU to have let him go in the first place.

shiny I do feel for you, and whilst he is not a child he is still living at home and therefore should respect you and your home and that includes telling the truth about his whereabouts if you are worried. I would get him home (sounds like he knows hes been caught out now anyway) and find out whats been going on.

Your DP summoned him home and he came?
Get your DP to ask him what's going on.
It's not about random women of whatever ages, it's the relationship between you and your son that needs work.

'And whilst he will always be your child, he is old enough to join the army and be killed for his country; to leave home; to get married He is a young man'

Not without the permission of mummy and daddy I think you'll find.

How very fucking bizarre odd!
Please do update!

eyes you can get married at 16 without parental permission in Scotland. And leave home actually - I know you need parental permission in England to marry at 16 but to leave home? Really?