To ask your views on bdsm relationships

[McNewPants2013]

I have been reading a lot of books about this and have came to a conclusion that with a trusting relationship it can work.

So what is your view.

[AgentZigzag]

Do I want to know what vanilla sex is?

Does it involve ice cream? Maybe a nice cornish clotted cream one?

[BiscuitDunker]

Agent bdsm isn't the norm,as far as I know,where I am,its certainly not a feature in my life at least and I wouldn't care about being judged about my opinion,its my opinion,I'm entitled to it and I don't expect anyone or everyone to like/agree with anything I say,whether its on here or in rl.

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what other people do in their private lives tbh. Plus I've heard enough sex life stories from my friends to know that what people do or don't do in the bedroom doesn't change my opinions of them.

Fwiw one of my oldest and closest best friends is into the bdsm lifestyle and has told me about some of the things she's tried and does and I don't think any differently about her for it-so to answer your question,no I wouldn't judge,not even privately,and it doesn't make me think about the type of person someone is. She's a great friend and always has been,her bedroom activities and everyone elses for that matter are not my business and are personal choice and preferance,its nothing to do with me :)

[MadameDefarge]

But McNewPants, you cant just wade in to Mn and ask random questions about quite out there sexual practices without engaging. You cant possibly expect people to engage with your curiousity without giving a bit back. I didn't see you engage with SGB or myself. which maybe erroneously, leads to believe you enquiry was not genuine. I am being up front about this.

[McNewPants2013]

I am sorry you feel like this Madame.

I really don't want to provoke anyone.

The reason I am up this late/early is because I live on 3-4 hours sleep.

[MadameDefarge]

It is the best of times it is the worst of times....etc...

I do think poor old Sidney should have run for the hillls.

vanilla sex is, as far I I know, conventional sexual practices. But my view is there is shite old vanilla cheapy stuff, and hard core proper vanilla clotted cream style sex. I am aware this might need another thread.

[MadameDefarge]

Then blinking well engage with us! Its your thread! contribute! engage! Debate! Tell everyone to fuck off! Whatever!

[AgentZigzag]

It's not something I come across or think about...at all, really Biscuit.

But now I do, I can't help but wonder the origins of it in the person, whether there are any effects/consequences, whether they'd be any worse than a couple who aren't into it.

Maybe what makes me a bit uncomfortable are the roles, that there are other sexual practices that are illegal because of the imbalance of power in them, making it difficult to disengage this from them.

[AgentZigzag]

'Then blinking well engage with us! Its your thread! contribute! engage! Debate! Tell everyone to fuck off! Whatever!'

You haven't said you are MadD, but if you were into it, I can't help guessing what role you'd prefer to take

[McNewPants2013]

Ok when I read books I realise that not all is true.

But do people really say master or sir, do the submissive or bottom really do any act the Dom see fit.

[AgentZigzag]

Actually, because I'm usually about late at night and have just remembered a thread the OP posted a while back that I posted on (about number of sexual partners), which could explain why the OP's interested?

[AgentZigzag]

Maybe that post's a step too far because it's the OP's business why she want's to know, sorry OP.

[AgentZigzag]

I should STFU and go to bed

[MadameDefarge]

oh come on agent, that is seriously not fair.

[MadameDefarge]

Please don't speculate about my sexual preferences on a public site. If I wanted to share, I would do.

[AgentZigzag]

Any bit in particular or all of it?

[AgentZigzag]

Ahh that bit, the insinuation was pulling your leg and not said to make you feel uncomfortable.

[MadameDefarge]

Its not a subject I want to share. but if you really need to know i have endured chronic, severe depression for two years, and sex, kinky or not, has really not featured in my life. Getting up and feeding my child breakfast, snacks after school, dinner, then homework and a succumbing to lot of fucking sleep has really been my focus.

[MadameDefarge]

sorry my dear. sense of humour fail on my part.

[MadameDefarge]

aaaaghhhh! agent! honest! not being pa!

[AgentZigzag]

I'm genuinely sorry you have to put up with that shit MadameD, thankfully I've never had depression, but I know people who do and it's just so debilitating, especially when other people who don't know what the secs/mins/hours/days/weeks/months/years feel like to live though, minimize it.

[McNewPants2013]

Madame I dont really care if people are into bdsm relationships, that is up to the person involved.

If you are into bdsm I have no right to judge other people's sex life.

This isn't about judging other people, I really do want to know more about a life style choice people make after reading about it.

[MadameDefarge]

thank you lovely agent.

OP, perhaps MN is not the best place, as I suggested earlier, to gather info on this topic.

[AgentZigzag]

Hehe, don't worry, I'm not thinking anything of what you've said (apart from the bit about you luffing me, I may quote that elsewhere on MN at some point ).

[McNewPants2013]

Just read your last reply, I hope you are getting the help and support you need. Depression is such a hard thing to treat and to get under control.

[McNewPants2013]

If MN isn't the place I will ask MNHQ to delete this thread and search else where.