TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

[Groovee]

No is a complete sentance.

Dear Ex Friend

No I am unable to make myself available for your request at this late stage!

Regards

TD

[Groovee]

or maybe Sentence... This is too early in the morning for me.

[tumbletumble]

marking place

[comingintomyown]

Good grief Tidy this just gets better and better !

I would never have predicted such a bare faced response, who wouldnt have thought "What was I thinking asking Tidy" when she got your reply.

Instead she sends her reply.

Priceless

[pigletmania]

Tidy I just would explain exactly how I felt to her, that you considered yourself an old and good friend, knowing herb since primary school. How you were really happy when you recieved a save the date card for her wedding, as they are given to the guests you want to invite, despite what she thinks. So you were hurt that an invite did not follow, but thought it was her day so can invite who she wants. Than a month before the wedding being asked to help decorate the venue as a surprise for the guests. Really that was like a kick in the teeth and very insulting. And just send it Tidy, these people need it spelled out for them as they are too dense to understand

[EhricLovesTeamQhuay]

Beyonce you are a genius

It has to be sarahandfuck's response I think. Though the poems are all great :)

[CSIJanner]

splutter She's got some neck on her, hasn't she?

Surely if she want to notify people of her impending nuptials, she would have posted an announcement in The Times? Go with Sarah's response. I know you don't want to keep the friendship anymore but keep the moral high ground.

And warn the other non-attendees that she's scouting for free labour.

[Gigaflops]

The sheer cheek of this woman - unbelievable!!!

[YellowDinosaur]

Another one who is highly amused by some of the suggestions but thinks it's time to be serious and spell it out clearly, unambiguously and politely. And make sure that any response you send you're happy for the bride to forward on to mutual friends.

Being rude, telling her to fuck herself (in various ways), poems or agreeing to do it and either doing it badly or letting her down at the last minute will just end up with you looking like the cunt not her.

I vote for koalaface's response from 7.02

[WaitMonkey]

How about, Fuck Off, you stupid ignorant woman. Would that work as a response ?

[FruOla]

Dear Gluezilla,

You clearly do not understand the etiquette of how to use a STD card. Everyone who receives one must subsequently receive a proper invitation. They should not be sent to an expanded list, 20% of whom you will drop from the final list.

I accepted, with much sadness, that you that you decided not to invite us, after all it is your choice who you invite.

But you are now asking me to do you a wedding related favour, despite the fact that, not only am I not one of your guests but I was a potential guest who you have actually disinvited.

Your ineptness with the STD cards was bad enough, but this request shows you to be staggeringly rude.

Had I been invited to your wedding, I would have been delighted to help you decorate the venue. Had you never told me you were going to invite me in the first place, I would still have been happy to help out an old friend. But as you have actively disinvited me, I am not going to help you.

[Cloola]

Marking my place.....

[londonrach]

Could someone summarize the main events please. When's the wedding. Some of the poems are genius. If you want to respond just say no, if no response just leave it as she wouldn't know if you helping or not.

[pigletmania]

You should also say that you did not realise that when you sent the save the date cards, it was not because you wanted me to share your special day, but to help decorate and nothing else. So you will understand why I will deline and wih you every happyness for the future sort of thing

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Another vote for SarahAndFuck

[poachedeggs]

Dear Bridezilla

Sending save the dates without following them with invitations was exceptionally rude, but I can overlook this faux pas as you are presumably lost in the excitement of the preparations.

However, to then request my help in preparing the venue for the benefit of those friends who you did invite is insulting and hurtful. The least you could do is have the grace to accept my refusal.

I wish you well in the future.

Tidy

[londonrach]

Also think you should give her a wedding card with this website and link. No need to sign or say anything else.. Wedding card should be an interesting choice...

[pigletmania]

Koala response is good really

[SanityClause]

The thing is, you are not going to get her to see how rude she is being. So, there is no point in trying to educate her. I would say,

"Dear Friend,

We have known each other for a very long time, and I feel I can be blunt with you.

I believe that asking me to decorate your venue is a big favour - the type you would only ask of a very close friend. I also believe that if we were such close friends, you would have invited me to your wedding, particularly after sending a "save the date" card.

You, on the other hand, believe that you are doing me a favour by asking me to do it.

We will not agree on this.

Please understand, however, that I do not wish to decorate your venue for you.

I wish you all the best for your day."

Tidy

[Moxiegirl]

I liked Sarah's reply.

[FruOla]

london, this is the first thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1807864-to-say-no-to-this-request-from-a-friend. Tidy's OP outlines the issue, so she then sent the BTB an email querying the request and the BTB replied that she thought Tidy would be happy to help anyway; Tidy then sent another email and the BTB's response was that they had already discussed this and to plead with her to help her decorate. I think I've summed that up correctly.

[JessicaBeatriceFletcher]

Sarah's response is perfect.

I assume you will be sending a wedding present? Three tubes of a well-known glue would seem to be appropriate.

[TidyDancer]

Okay, I have to take the DCs to DM's house now and go to work but let me just say you are all fucking awesome!

A response to gluezilla (loving that!) will be sent this afternoon/evening when I get home from work.

Thank you again, you lovely lot!

[Turquoiseblue]

Golly Tidy - you re better off without that one in your life. Can't believe the audacity. What s the bets she gripes when you don't send a wedding gift ?
Maybe you could send her a book on etiquette and manners .
Vote for Sarah and fuck s answer

[FrankelInFoal]

Agree that you need to be pretty factual now and avoid any out and out rudeness which she will no doubt interpret as bitterness at not being invited.