TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

No one can be this dim, surely? Any chance she's twigged this thread and is on the wind up?

Oh, I'd go with 'detached and dismissive' for the next response. Something along the lines of

'You appear to have misunderstood the etiquette of Save The Date cards. Please stop asking for me to work for you for free as you are only embarrassing yourself. Hope you have a lovely day.
TD'

[devil's advocate]

The word "couldn't" is very interesting, in "couldn't invite". Why couldn't she?
I SMELL EA
Her hub-to-be has -

1. LOCKED down the wedding list, excluding all old friends and potential supporters
2. LOCKED down the expenditure, because he is a tight git
3. INSISTED that the venue be decorated exquisitely, for free, and it is the bride's responsibility

4.YOU are her only hope. Do you mean to force her to go to him and say she has failed? what do you think he will do to her then?

Your dimness is truly alarming,
Any chance it's brought on by you starving?
I'll admit you're gung ho,
But your tone is too low,
Best back off, before I start arming...

Thank you Sarah for reposting the reply, I'd missed it! I am new shades of aghast!
As much as the poems and the Sylvanians ideas are awesome I'd probably go with McBalls' reply. Dignified, classy and to the point!

marceline you are welcome.

I like McBalls reply as well actually. I think that's the one.

agree with talkativejim reply above - concise, conveys how utterly rude you think she is whilst confirming that your answer is still NO. it also hammers home the fact you don't consider yourself a close friend anymore.

oh you could throw in a PS "are you on glue, bridezilla?"

it sounds like she thinks not inviting you to the wedding (along with all the other 'B-listers' she asked to STFD) is not an issue as "you've discussed it". She clearly thinks that your friendship will carry on as before hence the bonkers request about the hall. Either that or she has absolutely no qualms about massively taking the piss out of her friends.

how about replying with a very elaborate 'save the date' email to her for hall-decorating services? then when she assumes you're doing it, tell her she didn't make the final list 'you've already discussed it" passive/aggressive smiley etc etc.

I stand by my first comment on your first threat that you have won Mumsnet with the sheer unreasonableness of it all.

Go with Sarahandfuck. I wrote a long message explaining why but lost it. It was so convincing but too tired to retype.

Suffice to say, I was in the middle of explaining why Sarahandfuck's response keeps the moral high ground but is very clear.

Tell all your children, she uses Fuck as a pen name and yet has dignity. She's the New Gina Ford.

I wouldn't have the nerve to do it personally in case it reflected badly on me with other friends but I would fantasise about agreeing sweetly to help and then just not turning up or cancelling last minute. This would only work if you were the only helper though and not one of many.

I think SarahAndFuck's response is the perfect one, without the first paragraph:

*You cannot send someone a save the date card, then fail to invite them to your wedding and then expect them to arrange childcare and put in time and effort to do you a wedding related favour.

I understand that this is your wedding and you have every right to invite whoever you wish to attend, but I am shocked that you cannot appreciate just how rude you are now being in expecting me to help you organise a wedding you chose not to invite me to, and I am saddened as to what this says about the way you view our friendship.*

Why the heck aren't you getting my point?
I am not decorating your joint.
I can't go to the party,
You must think I'm too tarty,
Please jog on and someone else appoint.

When you sent me a card
That said Save The Date
I thought I'd be watching you wed,
But you just wanted me
To decorate.
You must have been out of your head.

I tried to explain
Without being too blunt
That it's not something I would do,
Now I'll be more plain
You terrible cunt:
To have asked, you must be on glue.

Tidy, two votes for Sarahandfuck. Thank you. Tortoise.

Its a vote for sarahandfuck s reply (without the first paragraph ) from me too. It's factual and clear without being overly emotive.

Original thread

Dear Friend,

I'm really sorry, I thought we'd talked about this.

I can't provide free labour for everyone who sends me a STD card so I'm sorry I can't help you out.

I'd still really appreciate an invite to the wedding. Is there any chance I can come.

Please. :) :) :)

Love Tidy

This thread is brilliant!

Dear F,

Are you high? Or have you been trying your dress on and laced the bodice up too tight? Oh, oh I know! You took delivery of the Champers and got a bit carried away 'testing' it and have ended up sending out loads of "...you know I love you, right? I love you, your my bestest mate ever, ever, who I love and everything and my wedding would be a disaster without you" esque emails?

Except, clearly I don't figure that highly in your hierarchy of friends, do I? Sorry that I haven't wet my knickers over the prospect of using my talents and spare family time to ensure that you and your preferred friends can gaily dine and prance within an enchanted wonderland I have created for your delight but I'm afraid I am suffering from an attack of 'self-worth' which the doctor has said may progress to a secondary infection of 'self-respect'. Apparently these things are not a serious risk to anybody else as long as your in an environment where others also appreciate your value and worth as a friend. If you aren't however, they can lead to complications such as 'wedging sugared almonds up a bridezilla's sphincter' or 'using the seating plan to twat the bride on the upside of her head' and we wouldn't want that would we? No.

Best if I don't come to help then, don't you think?

All the best

Tidy.

Dear F,

Let me clarify: this is not about my being excluded from the wedding. It's your wedding, you can invite who you like!

This is about me being excluded from the wedding and then being asked to give up my time to decorate for it.

Honestly, I think that's laughably rude. You obviously don't. Lets just end it at that and agree to disagree.

To be very clear: I won't be helping you.

Tidy

then go to the church and hand out divorce info to the guests on the way in

Hahaha Wahla!!

I WISH I had balls as big as Gluezilla.

Also, marking place.

Hi all.

I would have to answer.

'I know you explained it but i had to check as i thought you couldn't possibly expect me to come and help you get stuff ready for a party i'm not invited to, then fuck off when your real friends arrive. And for the record that is NOT what save the date cards are for.

Are you on glue?'

(i had to add that line in as i love it so much)

I really liked this one:
Dear F
I do think it would be more appropriate to get someone who is welcome at your wedding to assist.
Best wishes
TD

But then I just saw MrsKoala's and really like that one too (although I'd probably leave off the bit about glue).

Short and to the point. If it's too long she'll stop reading, she's too self absorbed.

Her head is so far up her own arse that she'll have to swallow her veil to wear it. Silly bitch.

Another vote for SarahandFuck's brilliant response. Use that one Tidy.

Dear friend,

You have been excessively rude in your handling of this wedding. From sending STD cards to people you didn't intend to invite, to not even having the courtesy to call and explain in person when the invitations didn't materialise.

To then INSIST that I would love to give up my time to help you decorate so that all of your actual friends could have a nice surprise is beyond the bounds of reason. It is extraordinary that you can't see how ill-mannered this is.

I wish you well but please don't contact me again.