TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

[IDontDoIroning]

Another vote for Sarah

[Yonionekanobe]

Yep - shameless marker...

[scarletforya]

I vote for SarahAndFucks reply.

Although I'm loving Wahlas; I'm afraid I am suffering from an attack of 'self-worth' which the doctor has said may progress to a secondary infection of 'self-respect' hahahha Genius!

[DollyTwat]

I have a feeling that had you said you'd help her, she would have left you to do it on your own too

[FlankShaftMcWap]

I would make a point of the fact that she has made herself look like a complete idiot by not understanding the point of STD cards. Be patronising about it.

"Yes we did talk about it, and to be honest I felt embarrassed for you when you managed to completely misunderstand the point of save the date cards. After all, it really isn't rocket science is it? I was sure that you probably felt embarrassed about your mistake, but instead you have compounded your rudeness by requesting that I skivvy for you for the benefit of those guests that did manage to get past the "save the date list".

Please understand that I am not offended that I wasn't invited, I am simply staggered that instead of offering an apology for being so rude, you justified your treatment of good friends by maintaining that your interpretation of "save the date" was correct and that we had misunderstood.

I'm sorry but I do not feel inclined to give up my free time to help someone who has such little regard for my feelings. I genuinely hope you have the wedding you deserve.

Regards,

Tidy.

[LittleBearPad]

Defo Sarah's reply.

I'm not sure the more imaginative responses would get through to her!

[BasilBabyEater]

Dear Bridezilla
I'm really sorry to see that the excitement and anticipation of the wedding has had the effect of completely destroying all your boundaries of realism, common sense and basic good manners.

By sending out STD cards, you were making a declaration that everyone who got them was going to be invited to the wedding. In effect, you withdrew a wedding invitation from everyone who subsequently wasn't invited, that is what that sequence of events means.

I can understand that you are very caught up in wedding preparations, to the extent that you appear to be viewing everyone else in your life as bit-players on your stage. However what I can't understand is that being so caught up in wedding preparations, you haven't properly researched the etiquette of STD cards and don't seem to grasp just how insulting your behaviour about this has been, not just to me, but to everyone from whom you withdrew the invitation.

I'm really sorry to see that the wedding industry has created yet another Bridezilla who has lost all her basic bearings and hope that you recover yourself when it's all over. Meanwhile I have to inform you that my basic boundaries remain the same and so no, I'm not willing to play the bit-part on your stage that you've allocated to me.

I wish you all the best for the wedding day and your marriage.

[SlangWhanger]

I like Koalas and sarahandfuck s so far. Definitely something in that style.

[diddl]

I haven't seen S&Fs suggestion-is it on the old thread?

[RenterNomad]

I love AKissIsNotAContract 's assessment of her as "a perdistent little bugger". Please, please use it. It strikes the right note of amused contempt, which is so important for cuttinf off the possibility that you are "just upset and being a bitch, so I was RIGHT not to invite her!"

[RenterNomad]

"persistent"!!!! You don't want her to be able to mock your spelling!

[FruOla]

diddl, it's on this thread - she posted it : Thu 25-Jul-13 00:06:05

[PurplePidjin]

Dear Gluezilla,

When you say you thought we'd discussed this, what actually happened is that you set out your demands, and expected me to comply.

Having been summarily dismissed from both your wedding and any delusions I had that you and I were friends, I will be politely declining your exceptionally rude request that I give up some of my limited and precious time with the family who love and respect me in order to do you the kind of favour normally only asked of family and close friends.

I wish you well in the future, however I won't be actively participating,

Tidy

[ChasedByBees]

Yep, be calm and factual and really spelling out why she's so rude as she really doesn't get it. Don't stress that you're not invited and the save the date card, I think you could look churlish with that and she'll think it's about a lack of invite rather than her lack of manners. I might ask her to run through this situation with a close friend who she can trust to be honest - maybe someone else will get through to her.

[Cuddlydragon]

Oh my god, I can't thank you all enough for making me laugh like a loon on the train this morning. The poems were epic.

[Areyoumadorisitme]

I also like Sarahandfuck's suggestion and Koala's. I would keep it neutral and unemotional as you don't want to look bitter but need to make your point bluntly.

[hedgehogpickle]

Vote for Sarahandfuck' s reply here too (and marking place!)

[BalloonSlayer]

Dear Gluezilla

I have been trying to be vague so as not to hurt your feelings, but you really are not getting this so I thought I will try a longer explanation to save you any further embarrassment.

Yes we did speak about it but I am afraid that explaining why you are being rude does not mean that what you did becomes un-rude.

It is not rude to decide not to invite people to your wedding.

It IS rude, however, to send out save-the-date cards to people whom you even suspect you may not be able to invite. Save-the-date cards are for essential guests - that's the point of them, to make sure that people you really, really want to attend will be able to be free by giving them more warning of the date than the other, more standard, guests. Sending them out willy nilly, making people think they are essential to your day, then not inviting them, is very poor form.

Having spectacularly missed the point of your own gaffe, you only saw fit to apologise for the lack of invitation. As I said, everyone understands that not everyone can be invited; the staggering faux pas here was the sending of the save-the-date cards in the first place, not who was or who wasn't invited. A heartfelt apology for totally missing the point of save-the-date cards and wasting your friends' time keeping a day free for no purpose would have been appropriate at this point, but you did not seem to think you had done anything wrong.

You then compounded this by asking me to decorate your hall as a favour, because your other local friends couldn't because they were coming to your wedding. Oh, and you wanted it to be a surprise for them. Did that not strike you as a rude thing you were doing?

When I declined, saying that I was surprised you had asked me, you inquired if I was serious and asked again. And THIS was the point at which your second heartfelt apology should have been offered!

When I refused again, you still didn't get it. You genuinely don't seem to see how incredibly rude and self-centred you are being. you have asked me a THIRD time.

So for a THIRD time - NO. Do not ask me again.

I have given up hoping for an apology from you for your breathtaking behaviour. But I hope you are not expecting a present from me because if I get you one it will be one on Wedding Etiquette.

[FruOla]

Fab, Balloon

[pictish]

"I am sorry if I wasn't clear before. I was hoping that you might realise just how rude you are being without me having to spell it out to you.

You cannot send someone a save the date card, then fail to invite them to your wedding and then expect them to arrange childcare and put in time and effort to do you a wedding related favour.

I understand that this is your wedding and you have every right to invite whoever you wish to attend, but I am shocked that you cannot appreciate just how rude you are now being in expecting me to help you organise a wedding you chose not to invite me to, and I am saddened as to what this says about the way you view our friendship."

This ^^ is the best response from sarahandfuck.

I wouldn't say I was 'saddened' though. I would say "and now I am all too aware of how you view our friendship. So it's a firm no."

[SugarMiceInTheRain]

I think Koala's response is good. Keeps it polite but spells it out for her.

[DameFanny]

Your lack of etiquette
Is confirmed by the internet
So I shan't be available to bunt
Because you've behaved like a bit of a cunt

[BMW6]

This is Sarahandfuck's suggested reply

...I am sorry if I wasn't clear before. I was hoping that you might realise just how rude you are being without me having to spell it out to you.

You cannot send someone a save the date card, then fail to invite them to your wedding and then expect them to arrange childcare and put in time and effort to do you a wedding related favour.

I understand that this is your wedding and you have every right to invite whoever you wish to attend, but I am shocked that you cannot appreciate just how rude you are now being in expecting me to help you organise a wedding you chose not to invite me to, and I am saddened as to what this says about the way you view our friendship....

I also vote for it - it covers everything you want to say, is reasoned and mature so you keep the moral figh ground.

[pigletmania]

Balloons response is great, she really is something isn't she!

[IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat]

So many great responses, but I think Balloonslayer's is the best (though I'd probably leave out the bit about wedding presents).

You could even combine it with one of the poems.

"If you still don't get it, maybe lyrical form will help you understand:

[insert favourite poem]"