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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My poor dd.

209 replies

Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 08:48

My DD left primary last thursday. She had a lovely day with all of her class mates.

Now she has found out that one of the mums organised a party at her house for the leavers but left my DD and a couple of others out.
DD was the only girl not invited.

She's devastated. She thought they were all her friends.
Aibu in that if you have a class party you should invite them all?

I could cry for DD.

OP posts:
Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:01

Betty that is awful.

Your poor ds Sad

OP posts:
Sunnymeg · 22/07/2013 13:05

Are this girl and your DD going to the same secondary school? If not wipe the dust off your feet and help your daughter move forward. It's is b.... annoying but it is a life lesson for your girl. If they are going to the same secondary then you may need to think how to handle it, but I would leave it until after the holidays and see how you feel then.

JuliaScurr · 22/07/2013 13:10

what horrible adults to let their children do this to others
mean, spiteful, unnecessary

Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:15

All the kids are going to the same secondary.

DD didn't tell me she new about the party because she was embarressed.

I'm pissed right off that i gave money for the teachers gift now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:31

If it was a birthday party i wouldn't be bothered. But this was a 'prom' type of affair.
Organised by the PTA so i have just been told. Hopefully it won't be out of PTA funds or i will kick off.

OP posts:
chocoluvva · 22/07/2013 13:35

Oh Shock.

I thought you meant the mum had organised an extra party at her home or a private venue just for the children.

That is very odd behaviour.

Is the mum in the PTA?

MrsCampbellBlack · 22/07/2013 13:36

I'd like to say I'm surprised but sadly I'm not. Honestly, its no wonder children don't include others when they are set such a bad example by their parents.

I hope your DD is ok.

And the whole invites get lost thing, yes of course they do. But, its my DD's party on Saturday and a few people haven't replied so I am spending the next hour contacting those people to check whether or not they can attend.

My DD wasn't invited to a party at the end of term, now as pretty much the whole class seemed to be invited I discreetly checked with her teacher that an invite hadn't gone astray but didn't do anything else. After all, what else can you do - march up to the mother and ask if your child is invited? Too awkward.

Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:41

DD is good friends with all the girls and i know the parents. It's all very cloak and dagger.
One child was refused entry when he went with his mates.
(i'm on the phone with another annoyed parent) He walked down with his friends and was told to go away.

OP posts:
chocoluvva · 22/07/2013 13:42

Where did they have this party?

Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:43

No invites were lost. The girl handed them out in front of other children.
Class of 42 (big) 38 were invited.

OP posts:
Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:44

Her house which opens up onto the community field. So basically the community field.

They had a disco on the field with a giant pool etc..

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/07/2013 13:47

Thanks Grind - I was furious at the time but over it now. Like you say, a birthday party is different but my DS has to walk out of school on his last day (tomorrow) and see all his mates bar 1 getting into a limo...that is what really pisses me off. Still, I am taking him and his friend out after school to the pictures. I did have a word with the woman who organised it (well, she started it off and others jumped in) and said how cruel I thought it was but she just wriggled out of it saying she was just organising it for her son as if it were a party and just inviting the people she would invite to his party. Ironic really as DS bought home a party invitation yesterday...from her DS!!!!! She then told me that if I were going to arrange something for my DS and his friend then I should invite the other kids not included or my name would be mud. Fucking cheek, I assured her that if anyones name would be mud it would not be mine.

She obv felt bad because she then told me that my DS was more than welcome to meet them all down at the theme park......I told her in a nice way that he wasn't a charity case and no, we wouldn't be meeting anyone down there!

I have explained to him it isn't personal, just miscommunication and bad management. I then told him limos are naff and he isn't missing anything at all.

Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:51

I could cry for my DD.

I could never do that to any child.

OP posts:
CeliaFate · 22/07/2013 13:52

I can't believe that an adult would be so cruel as to leave out 4 children. What an utter bitch. If your dds are not going to the same comprehensive, I'd send her an email telling her how spiteful and childish she is.
If they were, I'd have nothing to do with her or her dd again. I'm so angry on your behalf!

chocoluvva · 22/07/2013 13:53

So a teacher, the PTA and the majority of your DD's class were invited to a private party hosted by one of the mums on public land? Shock

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/07/2013 13:53

I did cry for my DS!!! Blush

Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 13:56

(still on phone to other angry parent)
They had a class cake with all names on!

Yes choco, on public land. One kid got told to sod off too.

OP posts:
Tinpin · 22/07/2013 13:58

That is horrendous behaviour(by the mother) Quite unbelievable. Nothing else to add!

squoosh · 22/07/2013 13:58

Bloody hell, what horrible lessons that mother is teaching her child.

How petty and hurtful.

chocoluvva · 22/07/2013 14:00

That's dreadful.

Even if they thought for whatever unlikely reason that your DD and the others who weren't invited couldn't/wouldn't want to/would misbehave they should still have been asked as it was clearly a class party.

They must have very poor judgment.

Original poster
Grindmygears · 22/07/2013 14:01

I don't think the mother cares to be honest or the father. They're loaded and very stuck up. That's no excuse but we live in an upmarket area and i live in the token council house. Maybe that's the reason they didn't invited her?
Other angry parents son has SEN so she thinks that is why hers wasn't invited.

OP posts:
squoosh · 22/07/2013 14:03

Worse and worse. She purposefully excludes the child with SEN and the child who lives in a council house? Shock

Just be thankful you need have nothing more to do with them. Truly vile behaviour.

SparkyTGD · 22/07/2013 14:03

That awful, OP, terrible behaviour.

SparkyTGD · 22/07/2013 14:04

That's

chocoluvva · 22/07/2013 14:04

That's really mean. If they thought that some of the children might be difficult they could surely have asked someone to help with them/keep an eye on them.