My poor dd.

[Grindmygears]

My DD left primary last thursday. She had a lovely day with all of her class mates.

Now she has found out that one of the mums organised a party at her house for the leavers but left my DD and a couple of others out.
DD was the only girl not invited.

She's devastated. She thought they were all her friends.
Aibu in that if you have a class party you should invite them all?

I could cry for DD.

[RainyAfternoon]

This is shocking behaviour. I would send an email to the head of the school and cc the mean mum and the PTA, to express your disappointment that this was allowed to happen. I would probably get emotional if I was to raise this in person so I generally find it easier to put things in writing to discuss on an adult level. On an immature level, if you cc the mean mum and the PTA you will also embarass her in public which essentially is what she did to your daughter.

[sashh]

OP

Play Pink's 'Stupid girls' to your daughter with particular emphasis on this verse


I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see

I'd rather be an outcast hanging with Pink than one of the 'in crowd'

You should write to the governors and find out if it was PTA or other school funding used.

If it has, then you can kick up a stink. And the child with SN has a good case to take to court.

[EllenJanesthickerknickers]

Wow! So hurtful. We had a tricky situation in our school. One of the Y6 mums has fallen out with everyone over accusations of bullying of her DS. My DS isn't involved, luckily, but her DS is very unpopular. Unfortunately mainly due to his mum's involvement in every little playground spat. The general feeling is that she's blown it all out of proportion and people (myself and others) who have tried to be supportive have also been tarred with the same brush. (and de-friended on The dreaded FaceBook!)

We had a (parental organised, nothing to do with school or PTA) leavers party with a 1960's double decker bus to take the DC there. All the DC and all the parents were invited. This boy did come, thank goodness, but his parents didn't, he was picked up from the party by his DF quite early.

Whatever bad feeling there was (and there's a lot) no way would anyone have excluded an 11 yo child from his leavers party!

[cushtie335]

Hi Grind. I'm a long time lurker and havent' read the whole thread so sorry if I am repeating what perhaps many others have said.

YANBU to feel miserable and angry on your dd's behalf, but taking it any further is probably not a good idea.

I had a similar situation when my dd was in her last year at primary (she is now 16). A girl she had been really good friends with (we'll call her Sara) had a 12th birthday party and at her Mum's instigation invited all the "popular" girls from the class, excluding my dd. I was livid. We had taken Sara out loads of places, had her for countless sleepovers and treats out and then she totally shat on my dd from a height when it counted.

I was literally sick with bitterness and anger. I wanted to go up to her mother and tell her exactly what I thought of her but dd told me not to. I let it go and it turned out that the party had been a disaster anyway, with all the "popular" ones taking the piss out of Sara and practically wrecking the house. Not long after Sara's parents split up (not that I'm suggesting the party caused this lol). Guess I'm trying to say that karma kind of dealt with it in the long run.

Your dd is going on a new adventure at high school, don't let this spoil it and try your best to move on. Good luck to you and her.

[cushtie335]

...oh and subsequently in high school Sara requested the presence of my dd at 3 other parties, all of which she politely declined as she had moved on to a new friendship group.

[sue52]

I'm open mouthed at the deliberate cruelty of some parents. I hope the OP's DD makes some great new friends at her secondary school and can put this nasty episode behind her.

[EduCated]

If this wasn't an official PTA event then I would have thought the teacher had put himself in a very awkward position. Was he there when the child who turned up anyway was sent away?

[internationallove985]

I'm not surprized you were upset and very rightly somewhat angry as well I don't doubt. God I detest clique parents who think it's okay to single out one child.
I hope you and your D.D are okay. Obviously I don't know you and your D.D but you are both worth 10 of that cliquey individual.
I wish your daughter well in her new school.
Love to you both. xx

[JustGiveMeFiveMinutes]

Did you complain OP?