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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be incandescent with rage about this email (v long, sorry)

219 replies

Caitycat · 06/06/2013 20:17

I hope I'm not because I am absolutely furious. A bit of background, my parents are Roman Catholic and I was brought up in that tradition, dh's family are C of E although fil was brought up a Methodist in Belfast. Dh and I are very occasional attendees of our village (C of E) church.

Both sets of gps have been on at us since our dd (now 9mo) was born about having her christened. My dps said they thought it would be great for her to be christened in the village church and went out of their way to say that as far as they were concerned all christians were the same and they were not ar all worried whether she was Catholic or not. Fil sent dh a series of emails emphasising how important it was for her to be christened into the "family religion" I.e. His (by which he means C of E despite his methodist roots). He mentioned that he knew my mother (why her specifically I'm not sure) would have a problem with it but that shouldn't stop us "doing the right thing".

Dh responded strongly saying the only person with a "problem" was him and quoting my parents' comments. We heard nothing more about it for several months. I mentioned the idea of getting her christened a few times but we are v busy and dh is not sure he wants to so we have agreed to leave it for a while.

Fast forward to today dh receives another email which includes the following; if you decide not to have her baptised I shall want to know what this decision is based on. You have told me there are no issues with (my) parents. I can therefore only assume that (I) has an issue with our family being protestant, a family she willingly married into and whose name she has taken. She presumably us opposed to your children being protestant and that being the case you cannot be surprised thaat I would never accept the religious lineage of my family being changed through children. WTAF

Please tell me IANBU to be incredibly angry at both the email and the attitude it displays towards me.

Thanks if you've read this far I really needed to share!

OP posts:
Homebird8 · 08/06/2013 02:34

DS1 (10) wants to know what a Fruitshoot is?

MusicalEndorphins · 08/06/2013 03:01

Your FIL is sounding rather hostile isn't he?

Our children(now grown) have not been christened. If they want to become religious they can choose any religion they desire. They and dh are all atheists.

AdoraBell · 08/06/2013 03:35

Is it wrong of me To want To say tell him you're going orthadox christian?

CouthyMow · 08/06/2013 03:39

I just spit my chai latte everywhere at the thought of a God called Allan.

(Sorry, that probably sounds really wanky - "I spit my chai latte everywhere" is probably the most pretentious sounding thing I have ever written. In my defence, it's out of a tub, made with milk, bit like hot chocolate but cinnamon-ey, and I don't drink coffee or tea...)

But following Allan...hahahahahahahaha!! Grin

WhoWhatWhereWhen · 08/06/2013 03:44

I have to say YABU, what's the point of being incandescent with rage? and YABU in having anything to do with religion, many of them do seem to be very angry

WhoWhatWhereWhen · 08/06/2013 03:45

*many religious people

Jacksmania · 08/06/2013 03:55

Couthy, I did have a :o at your chai latte :o

westcoastnortherner · 08/06/2013 03:59

Jacks - I think we can incorporate chai lattes into the religion..

CouthyMow · 08/06/2013 03:59

Blush I feel like a right pretentious twat now!

But I'm converting to Allanism. Wink

westcoastnortherner · 08/06/2013 04:02

It made me laugh, I'm drinking g&t, however it is 8pm here Wink

shufflehopstep · 08/06/2013 04:02

DH and I are not religious and had a non-religious wedding. This didn't stop a relative of my husband's telling us how shocked she was that we weren't getting DD christened. Apparently it's cruel not to do it and somehow isn't giving her a proper start in life. We nodded and promptly ignored her. (I think telling her that my parents never had me or my sister christened and it's never done us any harm shut her up.) Just say "It's none of your business," and blank it out. If he's sending emails, he clearly doesn't have the confidence to say it in person, so why don't you delete the emails and carry on as though you're oblivious.

Jacksmania · 08/06/2013 13:42

Morning. (morning here)

Does Allan believe in coffee?

If not, I'm out of here.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 08/06/2013 13:50

I predict that Allanism will sort out NI Sectarianism once and for all.

westcoastnortherner · 08/06/2013 16:29

OP yanbu my pil are from NI and religion is still a contentious issue there.

westcoastnortherner · 08/06/2013 16:30

BTW Allan believes in all caffeinated beverages

ChameleonCircuit · 08/06/2013 16:48

Shouldn't those in Wales join the Church of Alun?

MummyOfSunbeam · 08/06/2013 17:02

Wow fil is a pompous sexist wanker! Haven't read rest of thread yet but had to voice my outrage to you OP - my response would be 'who the fuck do you think you are? There is no 'family religion' - you could just as easily say your son married into mine!' That comment re taking family name also outraged me.

NotDavidTennant · 08/06/2013 17:08

No, in the Welsh offshoot of the religion we worship the mystical Ffordd Allan. His name is displayed all over the country.

MummyOfSunbeam · 08/06/2013 17:21

Love Allanism. Definitely incorporate chai latte.

ScrambledSmegs · 08/06/2013 17:41

Ooh, what a dick your FIL is. I like your DH's response.

Allan be with you.

Jacksmania · 08/06/2013 18:14

BTW Allan believes in all caffeinated beverages

Thank fuck for that :o

Bobyan · 08/06/2013 18:17

What about contraception? If I follow Allen will I need a bigger house?

pointythings · 08/06/2013 18:21

Allanism is a very tolerant religion, bobyan, and it preaches that people should have as many, or as few, or as none, children as they want to.

pointythings · 08/06/2013 18:21

BTW the Allan thread is now in Chat, an we should probably not be derailing this thread. Though the OP seems to have things well in hand.

Caitycat · 08/06/2013 20:31

Thanks pointythings I am pleased to have played a small part in the foundation of what I am sure will become a major world religion! I shall thank fil for opening the path of enlightenment to me (if I dare!)

OP posts: