To be incandescent with rage about this email (v long, sorry)

[Caitycat]

I hope I'm not because I am absolutely furious. A bit of background, my parents are Roman Catholic and I was brought up in that tradition, dh's family are C of E although fil was brought up a Methodist in Belfast. Dh and I are very occasional attendees of our village (C of E) church.

Both sets of gps have been on at us since our dd (now 9mo) was born about having her christened. My dps said they thought it would be great for her to be christened in the village church and went out of their way to say that as far as they were concerned all christians were the same and they were not ar all worried whether she was Catholic or not. Fil sent dh a series of emails emphasising how important it was for her to be christened into the "family religion" I.e. His (by which he means C of E despite his methodist roots). He mentioned that he knew my mother (why her specifically I'm not sure) would have a problem with it but that shouldn't stop us "doing the right thing".

Dh responded strongly saying the only person with a "problem" was him and quoting my parents' comments. We heard nothing more about it for several months. I mentioned the idea of getting her christened a few times but we are v busy and dh is not sure he wants to so we have agreed to leave it for a while.

Fast forward to today dh receives another email which includes the following; if you decide not to have her baptised I shall want to know what this decision is based on. You have told me there are no issues with (my) parents. I can therefore only assume that (I) has an issue with our family being protestant, a family she willingly married into and whose name she has taken. She presumably us opposed to your children being protestant and that being the case you cannot be surprised thaat I would never accept the religious lineage of my family being changed through children. WTAF

Please tell me IANBU to be incredibly angry at both the email and the attitude it displays towards me.

Thanks if you've read this far I really needed to share!

The Alanists are going to "L"

Personally I'd rather worship Aslan

Dear FIL,

If we decide to baptise our child, it will need to be at a time of our choosing and into the faith of our choosing. We have happily listened to various opinions on the topic but as yet DW and I haven't discussed the issue in any real depth. Life has been very hectic recently with xxx and xxx. However I must point out that the family linage is not really of concern to us, as much as DW married into our family, I also married into hers. I hope as a member of the Church, you act with love and good grace in accepting us just the way we are, what ever our choices are (when we eventually make them).

just seen your DH has emailed - well done

I'd go with this from upthread:

'Memo

From: Caitycat's dh and Caitycat
To: Ian Paisley Caitycat's FIL
Date: Thursday 6th June
------

Do fuck off with your patronising, offensive, patriarchal shite.

Memo ENDS

There technically isn't such a thing as being baptised catholic or protestant: *one baptism for the forgiveness of sin". You can be confirmed or ordained into a particular denomination, but baptised Christian only. Obviously the different groups have different rites and it is performed by a priest of a particular persuasion, but there you go.

I hear Allanists sacrifice gerbils at theirs

Bollocks. Bold fail.

I believe in Allen. Dave Allen. I liked his attitude to religion.

Good email OP

Absolutely roaring at Allan. :o

And also giggling at "impose your brand of delusion on" or whatever Bunny said even though I don't think it was meant to be quite so funny. :o

My grandmother, who is Lutheran, was delighted when her son and his wife decided to raise their dd in Judaism but is beyond irritated that DH and I are raising our children as Catholics. Some people have really strong prejudices.

I'd tell him to do one.

Can you borrow a christening gown, get dressed up and then have photos of the three of you taken outside your local catholic church? Just by the sign outside?
Then send them to him and gloat.

It's funny but speaking as the daughter of an Irish catholic mother and a Buddhist Chinese Father (who went to a catholic missionary school) the only person who got a bit "sniffy" about what religion my kids were was my Methodist mil. Mind you I don't think she was ever expecting Chinese / mixed race grandchildren.

And then there's the Church of Alain, for those of us of the French persuasion. There's no hope, is there?

The East Anglian Original Church of True Allanism is very inclusive and actually accommodates all brands of Allan/Alan/Allen, as long as they follow the Prophet Dave Allen.

My father is jewish my mother is church of scotland , i was brought up a Baptist. I then married a catholic and my children are catholics !!! I think your fil needs to realise that as long as people are kind and considerate faith should not be an issue and as a christian he should be accepting :) good luck with that

Somebody start a new Allanism thread , please! i'm too lazy The new all inclusive religion that sacrifices gin and Pom bears at the alter of Allan

Come on over to our shiny new church.

Break it to him that God isn't real.

OP, can you get DH to wear a turban, proper Sikh one, not just a bath towel, and send a pic to FIL? Now for non-cheeky response -

And then just decide as DD's parents what you both want do? My parents were like this on many other matters (though, ironically, religion or lack of it was our only area of 'common belief') so you do have my sympathy - it's ghastly and hugely stressful, as new parents to have your way of doing things questioned in such a bullying way. You will never keep everyone happy so you have to step back now and decide what's right for your little unit. if you do decide to have DD baptised wherever then you can choose to have a small event and no guests, then present it to FIL as a fait accompli, then maybe later have a party to celebrate DD. From my admittedly very heathen/allanist POV, I'd think it's important to remember WHY you'd decide to have your child baptised, and I don't think keeping the side happy that bullies most/shouts loudest is really in there at top of list

As horry says, baptism isn't a commitment to a particular denomination (though practices do vary e.g. infant vs adult). Certainly Catholic and C of E both recognise each others' baptisms. But I sense this is cultural rather than only religious so that may not help.

YANBU, horrible email.

It's all so depressing. There was a Nasty song when I was growing up in the west of Scotland 'I'd rather be a paki than a tim' usually sung at football games. Says it all really, the Catholics I'm sure had equally lovely chants. Thank god I've left all that behind and my kids have no clue what it all means.

I think for the Allan religious fanatics it is important to remember the dress code, you are forbidden from wearing ugg boots, and must only wear Boden on a holy Monday.

Gin MUST also be served with every meal on the holy Monday... A copy of the The daily fail must also be ceremonially burned.

Aw well crap, if can't wear my Uggs then I don't wanna join.
But I do want gin. Or wine. Whichever.
And I want to drink it on any day I choose.

I wonder if Brian from Hull worships at the Church of Allan, perhaps he only practices Yoni massage on a Monday...

Drinking large amounts of tea is also mandatory.

Pom Bears for communion as we practice Allanism...

Allan also declared that Thou shall be unreasonable if thou feeds their toddler a fruit shoot and sausage roll for breakfast.