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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not lie to the dr as instructed by dh.

208 replies

Youcanbesneezyimnotdopey · 06/06/2013 08:02

Dh is clearly being an unreasonable arse.

He suffers from hayfever. Normally he gets it on prescription as it is so expensive over the counter and he gets through a lot of it. It costs nearly £20 to buy over the counter. He has recently moved to my dr's surgery, previously he was still at the one where he lived before and his mother used to get the prescription and pay for the charge.

I suffer from a long term medical condition which entitles me to free prescriptions. So he wants me to go and lie to the dr and get the hayfever stuff so we don't have to pay. I have refused. This morning he said to me to go to the chemist to get his hayfever stuff and I said ok if he gave me the money (I'm a poor sahm, he earns 70k+ a year). He refused and said I could pay as its my own fault for refusing to get him free prescriptions.

I will not do this a) because its just plain wrong, b) because I've never had hayfever in my life and it'll probably look odd of I suddenly develop so badly I need eye drops, nose drops and antihistamines and c) because I have quite enough on my medical record without anything else.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?! He is not very pleased but in all honestly he is a bit of a bulky sometimes and I think he thinks I will give in if he's unpleasant enough.

OP posts:
wonderingagain · 07/06/2013 00:56

Yes, AF, it's the use of the word "instructed" that gives it away.

Chunderella · 07/06/2013 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicknameTaken · 07/06/2013 11:05

OP, I know how paralysing it is when you're afraid to leave because your H might harm your dc in revenge. I've been separated 4 years, exH has contact with dd, and still when there is a story in the media, I become paranoid again. It is a very common thing to fear, and it is a pretty rare occurrance.

I realize that's not sufficient comfort. I strongly suggest that you talk to Women's Aid and ask for a free 30-min appointment with a solicitor, to talk through your options. Start thinking through what protections you could put in place.

Before you can take any steps towards getting free, you have to be able to explore the idea in your imagination. He can't see inside your head. If you take nothing else from this thread, take this point: there are different and better ways to live.

Sallyingforth · 07/06/2013 12:11

(I'm a poor sahm, he earns 70k+ a year)

That is NOT a marriage. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by breaking free from this abusive relationship.

thompson369 · 07/06/2013 12:17

He is asking you to commit fraud to save him £6?! What a complete and utter dickhead.

DinoSnores · 07/06/2013 13:01

A couple of people are giving the wrong advice about Child Benefit to the OP. While I agree that the OP sounds like she personally needs the money and should claim, her NI contributions are safe.

If you are in a high earning household, you have the choice of

  1. registering but not receiving CB
  2. registering and then claiming CB, which then needs to be repaid by the higher earner.

It is registering that is important, not the actual being paid child benefit, to safeguard your NI contributions and pension.

DinoSnores · 07/06/2013 13:02

www.hmrc.gov.uk/childbenefitcharge/whatnext.htm

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 10/06/2013 20:18

How are you getting on OP?

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