To not lie to the dr as instructed by dh.

[Youcanbesneezyimnotdopey]

Dh is clearly being an unreasonable arse.

He suffers from hayfever. Normally he gets it on prescription as it is so expensive over the counter and he gets through a lot of it. It costs nearly £20 to buy over the counter. He has recently moved to my dr's surgery, previously he was still at the one where he lived before and his mother used to get the prescription and pay for the charge.

I suffer from a long term medical condition which entitles me to free prescriptions. So he wants me to go and lie to the dr and get the hayfever stuff so we don't have to pay. I have refused. This morning he said to me to go to the chemist to get his hayfever stuff and I said ok if he gave me the money (I'm a poor sahm, he earns 70k+ a year). He refused and said I could pay as its my own fault for refusing to get him free prescriptions.

I will not do this a) because its just plain wrong, b) because I've never had hayfever in my life and it'll probably look odd of I suddenly develop so badly I need eye drops, nose drops and antihistamines and c) because I have quite enough on my medical record without anything else.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?! He is not very pleased but in all honestly he is a bit of a bulky sometimes and I think he thinks I will give in if he's unpleasant enough.

He's being an arse for so many reasons.

1. Fiddling the system
2. Asking you to lie
3. Asking you to potentially compromise your own relationship with your doctor
4. Asking you to do something that may end up putting you in the embarrassing situation of having to admit the drugs are not for you if, say, the antihistamines are contraindicated by any other medication you are on and you, quite reasonably, don't want their to be any implications for the treatment of your own medical conditions.

This is a no-no on SO many levels.

And it's not going to work. You have never had hayfever, so even if you did pitch up showing (faked) hayfever symptoms the GP is unlikely to go, 'oh yeah, must be hayfever, here have exactly the same antihistamine as your DH'. GP could well think it is something else/want to run tests/want to treat differently.

I'm so sorry you have been put in this situation.

Can't he ask for a single prescription to cover the entire summer's worth of hayfever? That'd be a bargain!

Child benefit - high earning households can do one of two things: 1) have it paid in and then declare it via the tax return and pay it back or 2) opt to stop it being paid altogether. Because of the complicated nature of tax returns many high earning households have taken the second option as it's just easier (I did) and as it was an online form I didn't need permission/additional authorisation from my DH (BUT my wages are the reason we don't qualify AND it always got paid to me into our joint account so I didn't take much notice of the details as I could deal with it all). Sounds like the OP/her 'D'H took option 2.

This is fraud which in most companies would constitute gross misconduct so as well as being morally wrong and illegal he could also lose his job - all for being too stingy to pay a prescription charge. What a wanker.

He is BU as I have to take the newest most expensive OTC anti-histamine as the nonbranded no longer work for me and the steroid spray. Even these are on special offer and two months worth cost me under £20 so cheaper than 4 prescription charges.
I may yet have to go to the doctor as even this is not working.

"Can't he ask for a single prescription to cover the entire summer's worth of hayfever? "

Or a repeat prescription that he will place with his most local chemist, so all he has to do is give them a call to say he has run out?

I think a divorce would be the only way you could get access to some funds, to be honest!

With child benefit you opt in for eligibility so you get the NI stamp but then out of the payment.

Don't worry, there's no way I'm going to do it. Wonder how long dh will be unpleasant about it for.

Dont even think about doing what he wants

If you go and ask for hay fever meds, youll get prescribed hay fever meds suitable for you, and compatible with your medications, not necessarily the ones he uses. Plus you will be compromising the usefulness of your medical records with false treatment/symptoms on it, not to mention committing fraud and if found out compromising relationship with your medical providers

I have to chime in he sounds like an arse. Oh how lucky for you that you have a medical problem that entitles you to free prescriptions! Its not fair says sniveling man child. Oh what a shame his mummy cant pay for his meds any more

Seriously - 20 pounds a month for what 3-4 months as long as pollen seasons last in UK usually? He earns 70 grand, begrudges you anything he has to put under your control to support the family and hes vapouring on about approx 100 pounds max 240 if he somehow needs all meds all months through the year. And he has the temerity to bully you and be unpleasant about it. I bet he spends much more than that 240 on indulgent things for himself per year

Please read that link on financial abuse!

You need to claim CB again.

That way you get your NI paid.

He will have to pay back the CB money from his income.

He earns £70k and does not want to pay a few quids for a prescription??!

you could go back to work and allow HIS 70K a year to pay childcare. Or you both (?) should sit down and realise your worth and that he works x amount of hours to bring in 70k but you work 24/7 for state entitlements (?) and the need to ask (?) for money. He leaves his office. You wake, eat, clean and sleep in yours. The outlook on your finances isnt 'normal'. And what you may not have in money you have spades of in honesty and ethics. Get him off his arse and to the pharmacy, use the excuse that you need to hoover under him to earn your pittance. Shame on him.

agree with thegirlies - men like this ought to be absolutely ashamed of themselves

He sounds like a complete twat! What sort of man gets his mum to pay the charge when he earns 70k, then expects his poor sahm wife to pay the next time? Bollocks to that, leave the medication at the chemist and let the bastard suffer!

YANBU

How long have you been married? Not that it should matter. When I lost my cb, my DH transferred that amount to my account, plus an extra £70. You need to sit down and explain your budget to him. Oh and tell him to act his age and not his shoe size, and buy his own antihistamine.

He earns 70k and gives you an "allowance"...?? Wtaf!?
You should have equal spending money, equal access to money and equality throughout every aspect of your relationship. Otherwise you are not a sahm, you are a slave.

My dh earns 16k, I'm a sahm and we have two dc. We have a joint account and once bills are paid whatever is left is split between us to spend equally. We never argue about money.

You really really need to sort this financial abuse out or leave the bastard.

You should still be claiming the child benefit. My DH earns over the threshold, I'm a SAHM and I still claim to get my state pension, he pays it back via his tax return.

That aside, he sounds like an absolute arsehole. Why do you let him treat you this way?

I was shocked at the first part let alone when he then told you, you had to pay

anyway surely its all your joint money?

I'd also be tempted to take his pillow and go and rub it in the grass.

no of course yanbu he is being an arse , you cant go into the Dr saying im really bad with hayfever and i NEED this that and the other with dry eyes and no sneezing , your husband is an eejit and a wee bit entitled,

your free medical certificate is life saving the cost of prescriptions for you would be high and this is why obviously you have medical exception, I have had an excemption(sp) for years we not get free prescriptions in scotland so dont need it anymore, but what i need on prescription I couldnt have a life without it

My mum sends me antihistamines every year. She has them on rpt script and does not pay for them. She always orders an extra months supply in May and posts me a month worth, which lasts me all year.

I have asked her not to anymore, as i am a grown up now myselfas I would happily buy them myself at pharmacy, but she likes doing it for me.

Perhaps she could link up with your husband instead

If his hay fever is anything like mine, you won't need to stand firm for long. Life without any antihistamines in summer is hell if you have bad hay fever, he won't last long without the drugs.

Just keep telling him you have ethical issues with it and there's nothing preventing him from picking up his own script since you're not paying for it. He'll cave soon enough.

I'd be re-evaluating the relationship as well tbh, a others have pointed out. I'm the main income earner in our family and I would never dream of giving DH an allowance - we have completely joint finances and he manages all the money.

What has this guy done to your self respect?
Personally I couldn't live with such a selfish entitled bastard.

It's not a Dr that is needed here, it's a solicitor.

Are you together or separated? If your together why are you poor and he is rich? Good for you for not committing fraud. If he needs lots of prescriptions then he can pay for a card, just over £100 a year and unlimited prescriptions. We are so lucky to just have prescription charges and the card scheme, perhaps he should go to America for a while then realise how lucky we are!

i echo everyone else. Do not stop claiming CB. i do still and then just declare it. it is important for your NI contributions. When you ltb - and god i hope you do - you will need this.

Why do you think so little of yourself that you stay with a bully who financially abuses you? he sounds cruel and nasty and selfish and sadly; because he has probably been allowed to behave this way for so long, thinks it's okay to and actually feels self righteously indignant when someone stands up to him.

Take the power back. don't do it, start claiming CB again, don't ask him, just tell him. Then if you can, put some aside for when you leave.

Are you sure he is not entitled to free prescriptions because of your medical condition?

DH has a long term condition and we all get medical exemption cards because of it, although technically his is a disability, so could be different.