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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not lie to the dr as instructed by dh.

208 replies

Youcanbesneezyimnotdopey · 06/06/2013 08:02

Dh is clearly being an unreasonable arse.

He suffers from hayfever. Normally he gets it on prescription as it is so expensive over the counter and he gets through a lot of it. It costs nearly £20 to buy over the counter. He has recently moved to my dr's surgery, previously he was still at the one where he lived before and his mother used to get the prescription and pay for the charge.

I suffer from a long term medical condition which entitles me to free prescriptions. So he wants me to go and lie to the dr and get the hayfever stuff so we don't have to pay. I have refused. This morning he said to me to go to the chemist to get his hayfever stuff and I said ok if he gave me the money (I'm a poor sahm, he earns 70k+ a year). He refused and said I could pay as its my own fault for refusing to get him free prescriptions.

I will not do this a) because its just plain wrong, b) because I've never had hayfever in my life and it'll probably look odd of I suddenly develop so badly I need eye drops, nose drops and antihistamines and c) because I have quite enough on my medical record without anything else.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?! He is not very pleased but in all honestly he is a bit of a bulky sometimes and I think he thinks I will give in if he's unpleasant enough.

OP posts:
TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 06/06/2013 08:09

Knobber.

I'll help you sprinkle the pollen all over his pillow.

Is he always a bullying arse?

TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 06/06/2013 08:10

How long have you been married to this mummy's boy?

TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 06/06/2013 08:11

Love your user name btw. Make sure you stick to it Wink

Youcanbesneezyimnotdopey · 06/06/2013 08:11

We've never had a joint account. I didn't want one when I was working, we just had one where we both paid some money in to cover the bills.

It worked fine.

Now he transfers me some money but I gave up work 4 years ago and the amount of money hasn't gone up yet all the shopping ( which I buy) and petrol has. Plus I've lost my child benefit.

OP posts:
Relaxedandhappyperson · 06/06/2013 08:11

Goblingranny - if you are paying more than £10 per month for your prescriptions you need one of these:

Prescription Prepayment Certificate - it covers all your prescriptions for a single direct debit cost per month.

NO ONE needs to pay more. I think a leaflet should be given to everyone collecting more than one payable prescription from a chemist, as they are not sufficiently well-known and there are always stories about people spending hundreds on prescriptions, which is just not necessary.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 06/06/2013 08:12

Why are you with a man who earns 70k but leaves you poor?

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 06/06/2013 08:12

Your finances are fucked, honey

LifeofPo · 06/06/2013 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZillionChocolate · 06/06/2013 08:13

He sounds awful. YANBU.

mummymeister · 06/06/2013 08:13

...and you stay with him because...?
£70K a year is a joint salary for the 2 of you. Its not his money. you are dead right you don't want this anywhere near your medical record. why doesn't he set up a pre pay during the summer. why doesn't he get his meds on the NHS rather than over the counter in a chemist. why isn't he seeing the doctor to see if it is hayfever or rhinitis or something else that needs different medication. tell him to do one and sort it out himself

TanteRose · 06/06/2013 08:14

its not ideal but can you not ask for more money to be transferred?
or ask him for a joint credit card at least

I guess you never buy anything for yourself Sad

racmun · 06/06/2013 08:15

Weird that he says you should pay for it when you don't have any income and he works.

Also weird is that his mum was paying for it previously.

He sounds like a complete tight arse and you shouldn't get it for him.

valiumredhead · 06/06/2013 08:15

99p shop for anti histamines.

Then tell him to FO.

Itchywoolyjumper · 06/06/2013 08:17

He earns £70k and he let his mum buy his meds? What a lovely man.
Really don't do this. Apart from the fact he's asking you to commit fraud (and you're right, the GP will see straight through it, especially as you have no symptoms) there are implications for your own health too.
What if one of his hayfever meds interact with the ones you take already and the GP changes your existing meds for ones that suit you less? Or a new treatment for your condition comes out but you can't access it due these "allergies" that are only on your file to save your DH £20.
Also what if your GP gives you hayfever meds that DH is allergic to? You could kill him (although he might deserve it).
I'd just let him be snottery and sore eyed for a bit until he sees sense.

Cloverer · 06/06/2013 08:20

You are poor, he is rich, and you are married to him???

Forget the doctor, go and see a solicitor and get out.

Itchywoolyjumper · 06/06/2013 08:21

Cross posts with about a million people there Grin

GoblinGranny · 06/06/2013 08:22

Thank you very much, Relaxedandhappyperson.
Useful!

TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong · 06/06/2013 08:23

You lost your child benefit.

Was that the sum total of the money you had for you (and the child/children)

he's a real catch this one, isn't he?

HerrenaHarridan · 06/06/2013 08:26

I second the solicitor tbh, did you know you can file for divorce in grounds of financial abuse

Cravingdairy · 06/06/2013 08:28

I thought all primary caregivers were still entitled to CB but higher earners in the household have to include it in their tax return and pay it back that way. Someone will be more knowledgeable than me but it's worth checking out as theoretically it is YOUR money and if I'm right Sneezy shouldn't be able to stop you claiming it.

I agree with everyone that your finances need an overhaul.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 06/06/2013 08:28

financial abuse

CaptainJamesTKirk · 06/06/2013 08:32

Inform him that you will not commit fraud.

Remind him that you don't need the medicine and you will not purchase the medicine, if he wants to suffer that is his choice.

Sort out your finances! This should have been sorted out 4 years ago when you became a sahm. I don't have a joint account with my DH but we still share everything. I work as well by being part time earn less but we have worked it out so that we equally share money, responsibility for our child etc...

I couldn't remain married to a man who would see me 'poor' and caring for our child whilst he selfishly kept tight grips on his income.

CaptainJamesTKirk · 06/06/2013 08:34

God and I missed the part where you said his mum bought it previously. How old is he?!!!

breatheslowly · 06/06/2013 08:39

Shouldn't you still be claiming CB to maintain you NI record and then he should do self assessment to pay it back. Or something like that.

TheVermiciousKnid · 06/06/2013 08:39

Work out how many hours childcare you do, then send him an invoice for half of it.