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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I shouldn't have to pay twice?

219 replies

lollydollydrop · 24/05/2013 11:51

I am fuming.

I am a postgraduate student studying full time for a masters and am currently in the middle of my final exams. I print a lot of journal articles in order to revise from, and at home we have two different printers- mine which is an inkjet and reeeally slow, and OH's which is laser and super fast. I borrow his printer (he never uses it anyway) during times like this as its so much quicker, I dont have to sit there waiting and feeding it more paper, re-aligning it etc as my printer is so crap.I just need to source all my journals, print them and start revising. Quick. Anyway several days ago the ink ran out of the fast laser printer, and so I mentioned to OH who told me to use the remaining ink in my own printer and he would order a cartridge when it ran out. I pay for both cartridges by the way, but OH orders the laser cartridge as I dont have an Amazon account.

So I let him know several days ago we needed a new cartridge, and he said he would order it- I suggested he look at the last cartridge he bought to see which was the correct one (as prior to that we had a 'low cost' cartridge that ended up not working). I told him to order the branded version, even thought it was much more expensive at £45 at least it would definately be the right one, and I needed it here quickly and not have to mess about sending old ones back etc.

So the cartridge came today and I opened it up and tried to get it going- but it didnt fit whatsoever and and after checking, he has ordered the WRONG one. We werent sent the wrong one, he ordered it and this is what came, completely the wrong size, model etc.

Anyway I was pretty mad, as he told me it was ordered etc and when I asked him to order another- the correct one- he asked me for my card number again. I said, no, this was his mistake and why should I pay £90 for ink (i dont have a job and everytime I need money I have to ask my dad). He then tried to twist things and said that it was My fault as I should have checked the box! Why should I presume he was inept and ordered the wrong one? I asked him to re-order the one we knew was right, and he didnt do that, he just completely guessed which one it was. When I protested he said that I should go to the post office and send it back and get a refund before ordering another. Or go to town. Am I missing something here? I dont have time to do this (I know I'm now on MN now but I am struggling to concentrate because of this- we had a massive row) And it wasn't my mistake. Who is being unreasonable here? This will cost time I dont have as my exams are on my doorstep. I am so angry he is being so indignant!! He can be the most difficult, awkward, argumentative person I know :( I need your advice/opinion!

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 24/05/2013 12:15

Your one of those aren't you, everything's so differcult no offered solutions will change that.

Go and buy a cartridge from a shop and ask him for the money to do so as he fucked up with your money and then grow up.

Bearbehind · 24/05/2013 12:17

Seriously, get a grip- if you have time to be on MN you have time to sort this out.

Do you really think this is worth getting so annoyed about- if you do, you must have a very blessed life.

Having your own Amazon account is perfectly normal- you don't have to share everything- you are allowed more than one account per address.

And if you can't even remember a password, God help you in your final exams.

Original poster
lollydollydrop · 24/05/2013 12:18

Chessie, because I dont have ANY money? I am a full time postgrad student (i.e my job is studying, not paid employment). All my savings I used last year on vet fees trying to save my pet.

Tigger, yes we are a couple and we share, hence why we share the printer and should share the cost of this 'mistake' now (i.e. I am not paying double). I refer to 'his' printer to make the post easier to follow. There is no need to be so rude.

OP posts:
UptheChimney · 24/05/2013 12:18

I dont have time for any of that

But time to write a long OP on Mumsnet? Read from the screen, or print off at your university: they generally have v. cheap printing (subsidised for students, actually), especially if you specify double-sided.

EduCated · 24/05/2013 12:20

But you don't share the price, do you? You said you pay for all the ink in your OP.

ChessieFL · 24/05/2013 12:20

Just wondered why you still have to go to your dad for money and not your husband? Just seems odd to me.

Viviennemary · 24/05/2013 12:21

I have discovered the hard lesson that if you want something doing properly do it yourself. I have been caught out several times by DH. And now he says oh I saw such and such that I thought you'd like but of course I didn't get it in case you'd complain. Hmm You can't win on this I'm afraid.

Picturepuncture · 24/05/2013 12:22

You share an amazon account because 'that's easier'.

But you don't share money or printers.

Bizarre.

Bowlersarm · 24/05/2013 12:22

Would he buy you a new cartridge now. Then you resell the wrong cartridge and he gets the money back?

ouryve · 24/05/2013 12:23

It takes 5 minutes to set up your own Amazon account Hmm

Do you have joint everything, OP? It seems rather odd that you share things like this but then he's not so willing to share the finances when you're strapped for cash.

Ullena · 24/05/2013 12:23

Copy the articles out by hand from the screen. Biro and a notepad. Highlight as required. It will stick far better.

Original poster
lollydollydrop · 24/05/2013 12:26

We do share printers picturepuncture?! We share the laser? But OH rarely needs it, so its in my study. I do pay for the ink educated as I use it most (and a lot) but I dont think I should have to pay again. We arent married chess. I think I am realising that I cant ever rely on him either vivienne!

OP posts:
DiscoDonkey · 24/05/2013 12:29

If you can't return the cartridge out it on eBay, they sell really well on there. You might not get all your money back but it's better that losing it all.
Personally I think you financial set up is odd but if that's how you choose to do it then in future I would do all your own ordering if it's coming from your money.

Dh and I share money but have seperate amazon accounts and eBay accounts, it's handy at Xmas if I buy him something and don't want him to know!

Binkybix · 24/05/2013 12:29

Calm down! Sounds like you are in the grip of finals fever, which I remember well. It's difficult to think rationally. You are where you are, so you needto take the least bad option to allow you to study - that's
Probably taking the quickest one now and sort money out after. If you physically don't have the cash, borrow it from DH and fight it out afterwards.

Longer term, you prob have some money issues to sort out with DH, but focus on your finals now.

ExitPursuedByABear · 24/05/2013 12:31

LTB

Original poster
lollydollydrop · 24/05/2013 12:32

Bowlersarm- thats exactly what I wanted to do. But no (I think this reflects OH being unreasonable, and not just in this instance, but many many times he is very 'difficult'. Others have commented in RL too)
Good idea Ullena.

Yes we share everything.. when I was working I was only on £18k and he on £45. I moved from North to South to be with him after 1.4 years long distance (he wouldnt move up to me- we had met 5 years previously at Uni). Yet even then the house was 50:50, meaning 90% of my salary went on rent and bills, I had no leisure money at all and could not save anything for the future either- he had All the 'spare' cash and pissed it up the wall. He didnt save either. Part of the reason why I am back in Uni now to get a better paid job so I can support myself.

Thanks for your messages, best get back to it!

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 24/05/2013 12:32

Why on earth could he have not reminded you of the password to your joint Amazon account? It would have been a lot easier than you giving him your card details as you have implied was the case.

You are BVU baking someone for making a mistake when they were doing you a favour and doing something you should have been perfectly capable of doing yourself.

tethersend · 24/05/2013 12:34

Why did he ask you for your number again?

Once you use a card on amazon, doesn't it just store it for future use?

It does on mine.

And yes, I realise that's not the point.

Can I ask how old you both are?

sweetestcup · 24/05/2013 12:37

This is obviously about more than a printer really, and I think you know it. If you are living with someone who earns £45,000 and is laving you with no money then you have serious issues in your relationship.

fuzzpig · 24/05/2013 12:40

, I had no leisure money at all and could not save anything for the future either- he had All the 'spare' cash and pissed it up the wall.

That gets a LTB from me.

xylem8 · 24/05/2013 12:41

yabu to have to post in enormous detail about the most humdrum domestic squabble ever

ShadeofViolet · 24/05/2013 12:41

I'm scratching my head to decide whats wrong with 2 tesco accounts. DH and I have separate ones, and separate clubcards.

ThreeDudesOnABus · 24/05/2013 12:43

If you don't have any money, maybe it's time you stopped whining on mn and went out and got a job?

NotYoMomma · 24/05/2013 12:44

Why are you with him?

Also... The world will not end if you have two Amazon accounts or Tesco accounts, surely it.is 'easier' to have your own that you know... You can actually log into...

I'm assuming this bell end didn't give a toss about the money for your pet either?

DiscoDonkey · 24/05/2013 12:46

Threedudesonabus it's unecessarily shitty comments like that that make mn a bit crap at the moment. What is it with posters who just want to be shitty for the sake of being shitty?