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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off PIL looked after baby while I was at work and left me with upset, screaming child

214 replies

Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:16

At work this mornin so was dh but he was with dc most of time. Apparently he thought pil did fab jobplayin with dc and really stimulating him. I came home to a screaming tired underfed baby who needed a full outfit change. This was one of the first times they had dc and I had left instructions which they did seem to attempt to follow. Dh can't seem to understand why I think they are useless AIBU???

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/04/2013 22:47

Where are all the teenagers that live with you? Can they not babysit?

Flojobunny · 27/04/2013 22:47

YABU especially the bit where you said I thought PIL could have him, not how they kindly offered to have him etc. You obviously don't like your PIL and think just you and your mum know best.
They did you a huge favour, stop being so precious.

usualsuspect · 27/04/2013 22:47

I think you have bigger problems than not liking your pils if you think men don't change nappy.

CocktailQueen · 27/04/2013 22:47

Pollydon, are you actually the op?? Bizarre posting times...

Op, yabu I think. How do u know your baby is ndertand? But, my god, if your dh was there all day and your bb's nappy didn't get changed, then he is a lazy toad.

squeakytoy · 27/04/2013 22:48

sorry wrong thread! I was reading two similar threads at the same time!! oops!

freddiemisagreatshag · 27/04/2013 22:49

Your problem is your DH. And your attitude that it's ok for your mum to have your DC but not your in-laws.

ssd · 27/04/2013 22:49

morethan is spot on, the op works and has family running after her so she can work and she's on here bitching about them

op, you said it yourself

"He was soaking wet and I honestly think it is easier paying for childcare- the adoring grandparents are happy to be involved for a few hours but then leave you all the crap"

bet you've never paid for childcare in your life, if you had you wouldnt be so utterly entitled....and as for calling your PIL useless Angry, you do know one day you'll be the PIL???

WellJustCallHimDave · 27/04/2013 22:49

Mamacj, there are two types of father: The type which change their baby's nappy when required to do so and the type which refuse to.

The first type is called Dad. The second, if the mother has any sense, is called the non resident parent.

Oh, and you're being unreasonable.

Pollydon · 27/04/2013 22:51

No cocktail, I popped my last baby out a good 14 years ago.
Not sure where your going with the posting times, I type, then I post, like every other fucker on here.

ssd · 27/04/2013 22:51

op are you and you dh 16? you sound it

Smudging · 27/04/2013 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:51

I've never left dc with dh for longer than an hour or so and he's a year! Am I being a bit possessive I just thought this would be normal with mums as well as wanting to do all the looking after at the weekend while dc is in childcare all week

OP posts:
5318008 · 27/04/2013 22:52

your DH is a knob then

refusing to change his baby's nappy is appalling

you've got bigger problems than loving grandparents I'm afraid

Sad
rocketeer · 27/04/2013 22:52

YABU, and your DH is def being U. Why won't he change a nappy?

Flojobunny · 27/04/2013 22:53

OP you are a fool. If you want to be a mug to your DH fine, but don't take it out on your PIL when they are just trying to help. Seriously, its women like you that create these lazy bastard men, he's supposed to be your equal partner, how utterly ridiculous that you think its ok that he doesn't change nappies.
Book yourself a weekend away with a mate and leave DH with the childcare, he'll soon learn how to change nappies and to be grateful for everything you do.

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:53

Ssd I pay for full time nursery since dc was 4 months

OP posts:
alwayslateforwork · 27/04/2013 22:54

He refuses. Ffs.

Leave him with the baby for the weekend in entirety and fuck off somewhere else.

You need to get that sort of sheer stupidity sorted out now.

Adults change nappies, wipe up sick and vomit, and look after their children.

If they don't, they shouldn't have shagged you and got you up the duff in the first place.

He is a father.

Tell him to act like one, and leave him with the baby until they understand they each other.

What a prize load of cock. And you, op, are buying into it.

That's if you haven't just popped on to wind up the wimmin.

Fathers change nappies. And they feed babies in the night too. And they are just as capable of it as the mother, with the exception that she has had to express the milk in the first place.

Just because he has a penis doesn't mean it stops him parenting.

You need to tell him to shape up, now.

And you need to tell him to fuck off for a vasectomy if he thinks he's impregnating you again, unless he starts accepting some bog standard ordinary parenting.

Unless you have time travelled from 1952. Obv.

Doesn't change nappies. Ffs.

alwayslateforwork · 27/04/2013 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

freddiemisagreatshag · 27/04/2013 22:54

Did we time travel back to 1956 and I missed it?

Of course a father is capable of changing a nappy and looking after his own child.

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:55

Flojobunny I don't think I could leave my little one for a weekend is that wrong?

OP posts:
sweetestcup · 27/04/2013 22:56

've never left dc with dh for longer than an hour or so and he's a year! Am I being a bit possessive I just thought this would be normal with mums as well as wanting to do all the looking after at the weekend while dc is in childcare all week

So you think its not normal for Dads to get involved then to? Does your DH really refuse to change a nappy or is it you just take over everything? Seriously - your DH has never been alone with his own child for longer than an hour??

ShadowStorm · 27/04/2013 22:56

My dh doesn't do nappy changing- I thought most were the same!

No, I don't think so. DH doesn't like changing nappies, but if I'm not there and he's in charge of DS, he gets on with it and changes nappies when needed. As do most fathers.

Sheshelob · 27/04/2013 22:56

Ok, so I get the inlaws thing because I have been blessed cursed with a mil who will go against any guidance I'll give about my son because she thinks she knows better despite the fact she lives 12000 miles away and has met him twice.

However, a husband who won't change nappies?!? Are you for real? What is it, the 1950s house round your's?

Speaking of which, morethan? Love. Some women a lot of us parent and work. Having a child does not involve a choice between work or family for a lot of women. Food is quite important when you have kids. And unless you have a farm in your back garden, and if as a couple both your incomes are important, that tends to involve work.

But you're right. She should follow her natural role. She is a disgrace you need to wind your neck in

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:57

Seriously sweetestcup again I thought that was normal

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/04/2013 22:57

from your other thread op:

"My ds is 8 months and has been at nursery since he was 4 months- he is a really sociable little boy. My mum has been so good since he was born and I she has looked after him when we have been away"

You managed to leave him with your mum... now try leaving him with your husband..