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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be pissed off PIL looked after baby while I was at work and left me with upset, screaming child

214 replies

Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:16

At work this mornin so was dh but he was with dc most of time. Apparently he thought pil did fab jobplayin with dc and really stimulating him. I came home to a screaming tired underfed baby who needed a full outfit change. This was one of the first times they had dc and I had left instructions which they did seem to attempt to follow. Dh can't seem to understand why I think they are useless AIBU???

OP posts:
gorionine · 27/04/2013 22:36

yabu

ThePskettiIncident · 27/04/2013 22:37

So have it out with your should instead of bemoaning his parents who did you a favour. If your dh is a lazy twunt, he needs to pitch in.

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:37

Charming morethanpotatoprints I spend a lot of time with dc but do work to try to give him a good life

OP posts:
ThePskettiIncident · 27/04/2013 22:37

Should = DH! Apologies

ShadowStorm · 27/04/2013 22:38

Not sure really - if it's been years since they looked after a small child, it may just be that they're a bit rusty?

Pollydon · 27/04/2013 22:38

No Agent, just screaming, tired and underfed Sad.
Mamacj, I think you would need to have a little chat with them, no blame, just go over the basics

Pollydon · 27/04/2013 22:38

No Agent, just screaming, tired and underfed Sad.
Mamacj, I think you would need to have a little chat with them, no blame, just go over the basics

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:38

You see I don't think of it as a favour as I wanted my mum to do it

OP posts:
MrsBombastic · 27/04/2013 22:40
  1. They did you a favour, if you don't like it then yes, pay for childcare.
  2. If your hubby is a lazy slob, kick him into touch or kick him out.
  3. I think you just don't like PIL babysitting and is making a big deal out of nothing.
  4. In terms of "leaving you with all the crap", yes, that's what grandparents do.
  5. Why don't you tell THEM that and see what they say?
  6. YADBU
squeakytoy · 27/04/2013 22:40

If your husband was there most of the time, why did he not change his childs nappy?

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:40

ShadowStorm and Pollydon I think they are a bit clueless and will need to go through things with them

OP posts:
Cravingdairy · 27/04/2013 22:40

I'm sure they did their best, looking after someone else's baby is hard and while your DH was there he was the responsible one.

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 27/04/2013 22:40

YABU I'm afraid. If my Mum looks after 8 month DS, he normally comes back tired, hungry and cranky. It's got nothing to do with her ability to look after him, just the change in person, routine and environment.

Also, sometimes babies can just have cranky days. I've recently gone back to work and DH stays home. Occasionally I've come home to a blotchy bawling baby, who has been crying for 3 hours despite DH's best efforts, which doesn't make him a shit dad. It's all down to trust. It doesn't sound as if you trust your PIL very much, but hopefully the next time will go much better and reassure you.

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:41

My dh doesn't do nappy changing- I thought most were the same!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 27/04/2013 22:42

Are you on some sort of wind up?

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:43

Thank you that's been the most helpful reply!

OP posts:
Pollydon · 27/04/2013 22:43

Fucking hell morethanpotatoes, get a grip, the op works, you know, to earn money for her family !

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 27/04/2013 22:43

Oh dear.

sweetestcup · 27/04/2013 22:44

You see I don't think of it as a favour as I wanted my mum to do it

Probably just another example of the woman's parents being seen as more important the Dads I think. And you probably dont like your PILs very much.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 27/04/2013 22:44

That 'oh dear' was to you OP.

Of course men change nappies. Ones who don't are lazy, and think they are more important than you are.

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:45

True sweetestcup

OP posts:
sweetestcup · 27/04/2013 22:45

My dh doesn't do nappy changing- I thought most were the same!

Are you for real? Speak for yourself if youve been landed with a useless hands off Dad.

Cravingdairy · 27/04/2013 22:46

" My dh doesn't do nappy changing- I thought most were the same!"

Really, really not.

Original poster
Mamacj · 27/04/2013 22:46

Yes seriously he refuses

OP posts:
IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 27/04/2013 22:46

He doesn't do nappy changing? That's mostly DH's job here. I do it in the early mornings, but DH does it the rest of the day. Slightly redresses the balance of me doing all the night wakings (breast feeding still).

Most dads I know do nappies. The only ones who don't are rather hands off full stop.