to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

[BriansWife]

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

I also advised him to post in Style and Beauty because I thought most s&B readers would have clean yonis

Won't their vajazzles get in the way?

Or is that Yoni way is Essex?

Worra cue music - Phil Collins, Jesus he knows me......

YoniBlair :o Genius.

Dunno, but you could have TwoYonis if you want to follow the politics theme? Wasn't he from Hull too?

You mean Clean, shaven and Vajazzled Yonis?

No.

No.

A Sootikin is not a real thing...is it?

Ow My tummys aching I've laughed so much.

Worra that yoni way is Essex made me laugh so much a bit of sacred water escaped off to wash my yoni in case I'm thrown off the thread for bad hygiene

What is it? I refuse to Google it

TicketyBoo as long as it wasn't Yoni Yoghurt

A sootikin is the younger cousin of Sooty of Sooty and Sweep fame.

tadaa

Women from all religions will benefit from yoni massage and you are welcome to use your own terms to make the spiritual experience personal to you.

Sadly, the sort of women who go in for vajazzles don't usually book yoni massage but Brian is happy to accomdate them if they do.

Dear Brianswife, does Brian offer gift certificates? I'm thinking about ordering one for my son's teacher as an end of term gift, she gets so many chocolate and flowers and I was looking for something a bit different.

Dear Wife of Brian,

So many women are laughing and admitting to pee escaping, Can Brian also help them with this?

Would this rule out these women from his tender spiritual care?

Not clicking...

Thanks Katy...

What if you dont have a Yoni?

Will the bum do?

Ewwwwwww!! Sootikin... I clicked on the link (sobs)

Any new members to MN will be scared shitless by all these name changes.

Sloaney!!!