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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

554 replies

BriansWife · 11/04/2013 20:34

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

OP posts:
toffeelolly · 11/04/2013 22:14

Brian's wife are you for fucking real!

YoniTime · 11/04/2013 22:14

Yes, obviously.

DeskPlanner · 11/04/2013 22:14

Brilliant. Grin

YoniTime · 11/04/2013 22:15

BriansWife you haven't told us how he makes women whole again yet.

KatyDidTookHerYoniToHull · 11/04/2013 22:15

Surely this is a wind up?!

No shit Sherlock?

chickydoo · 11/04/2013 22:16

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2013 22:16

Brian's looking on Mumsnet for swingers,
He doesn't care if they're handsome or mingers,
He wants to massage your yoni, cos he's sad and lonely,
Then sit there sniffing his fingers.

BriansWife · 11/04/2013 22:16

YoniTime, Brian's quote was meant to explain that, he makes you spiritually whole by connecting you to the goddess. If you book an appointment, he will be happy to explain himself, unfortunately I haven't studied the Tantra myself as some of it is beyond me.

OP posts:
SuzySheepSmellsNice · 11/04/2013 22:17

Worra eeeewwwwww!

KatyDidTookHerYoniToHull · 11/04/2013 22:18

I think quite a few of us would want Brian to explain himself but perhaps not in the way that you have in mind.....

PseudoBadger · 11/04/2013 22:19

"Some of it is beyond me" - that's the angle I'm afraid. It's why it's best to have a yoni professional I guess

Moominsarescary · 11/04/2013 22:19
Grin
YoniTime · 11/04/2013 22:19

But I'm Christian, can he connect me to Jesus instead?

poorbuthappy · 11/04/2013 22:19

Didn't Atomic Kitten sing about Brian??

QuintessentialYawnyYoni · 11/04/2013 22:20

Why would I connect with a goddess? Through my vagina receiving healing?

I think I need zeus for that....

muddysamazingyoni · 11/04/2013 22:20

It's not even Friday.

IneedAyoniNickname · 11/04/2013 22:21

I've laughed so much at this and the original thread, that I've woken ds1 up! Whoops

crashdoll · 11/04/2013 22:21

Yoni is quite a popular Jewish/Hebrew name. When I lived in Israel, I knew many Yonis. I can now never return. :(

QuintessentialYawnyYoni · 11/04/2013 22:21

Does anyone else wonder about the similarity between the names

Jesus and Zeus. Especially when pronounced in a certain impatient way!?

KatyDidTookHerYoniToHull · 11/04/2013 22:21

YoniTime I think you'll find that wasn't really covered by the promises made at baptism or confirmation.

But then again, it could bring on a whole new meaning to 'Born Again'

(no offence intended to Christians....am one myself)

sunshine401 · 11/04/2013 22:21
Shock
WorraLiberty · 11/04/2013 22:21

But I'm Christian, can he connect me to Jesus instead?

It'll cost you £1.75 per minute from a landline

Other charges apply from mobile phones

BriansWife · 11/04/2013 22:21

I also advised him to post in Style and Beauty because I thought most s&B readers would have clean yonis

OP posts:
EverythingIsTicketyBoo · 11/04/2013 22:22

This has to be the best ever day on MN Grin my fanjo yoni has a new name Grin

YoniWayIsEssex · 11/04/2013 22:22

Own up, who nicked YoniBlair Grin

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