to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

[BriansWife]

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

I wonder what the questions will be on the Survey Monkey link!

Brianswife can you suggest some appropriate ones?

Maybe Brian will peer round the corner of MN's door in a minute and say 'Yoni meeee!'

This just in: Hobby horse woman is apparently a client! That's why she was so happy - she was on her way to a session when she was spotted by an eagle eyed mner.

Brian

I Yoni want to be with you

Brilliant. Just giggled my way to bed!!

Brian has never and will never go anywhere near my yoni.
And for the record, I have impeccable personal hygiene

I had to read three pages before I Sussed what a yoni massage was! Doh!

Surely this is a wind up?!

BriansWife, you didn't answer my question

If only hq would unban Hulldad we could have some proper fun (flutters eyelashes at RebeccaMN).

How about a webchat?

I daren't look at Brian's website.

But please tell me there's a photo on there of Brian posed like Paul McCartney - Thumbs Aloft Brian, as it were.

Brian is down from the attic and has asked me to write: "Yoni massage is a spiritual experience which involves openness, trust, surrender, dissolution and a feeling of oneness, unity and stillness. The experience of yoni massage allows the woman to fully manifest the feminine, Shakti, the Goddess."

RebeccaMumsnet perhaps you need a name change?

How about Rebeccano not that Becky Mumsnet

Rebecca(I've never been to Hull) Mumsnet

If only aitch could use all this for the round up.

Blimey I just put 'Yoni massage' into Google images and there are some people having a right old dig about

It's Brian's 15 minutes of fame :)

Well I'll be waiting for the books

Brian and his yonis
Brian and his brazilian yoni
Your yoni and me by Brian
Thanks for the yoni
Yoni cum home
Love your yoni

Does shakti like whips? Is that why he's holding one in the pic on his website?

Excellent

Is he like a yoni whisperer?

17 yrs of getting your yoni on, you should be more relaxed. Im sorry if your upset, but what did you actually think was gonna happen? Did you think mn was full of bored housewived waiting Brian to do the rounds?

Spiritual....yeah right it's about as spiritual as a greggs sausage roll
We're not doing well on the stillness bit, maybe we need some advice on how to achieve it...up and down the land we are all laughing far too much for stillness.

Brian is down from the attic and has asked me to write: "Yoni massage is a spiritual experience which involves openness, trust, surrender, dissolution and a feeling of oneness, unity and stillness. The experience of yoni massage allows the woman to fully manifest the feminine, Shakti, the Goddess."

AKA "Fanjo prodding - £80 a go"

Just thought it'd save him on advertising costs....

What did I miss? What's Brian been doing in the attic?

Oh my god, have you seen Pedro's song on the original thread?

YoniTime, sorry having difficulty keeping up on this slow laptop, what was your question again?