to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

[BriansWife]

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

oh god
i am heaving at The Wife of Brian.....

i namechanged back from TheYoniVicarinaTutu....i thought this ship had sailed....
seems it actually just docked in the sacred feminine waters....

do i need to change back?

Who do you like now? Yoni Braxton? Yoni Bennett? Yoni Yoni Yone?

Erm, I'm Spartacus Becky but I haven't been to Hull lately.
However, I do know a Brian.

could be a similar documentary as the 40 year old virgins recently on. Paying for sex. Its all prostitution and pimping

The Yoni ship will never sail.

Yoni upkeep is a lifetime commitment.

"Recently my Brian offered professional minge massage here on Mumsnet. Some people seemed to think that this isn't a genuine service and that they shouldn't have to part with cash for a bit of a fondling downstairs. What they fail to realise is that my Brian is a professional fondler, unlike their husbands, partners and right/left hands. Professional fondling is a lady-wank like no other, and I'm deeply upset you would consider my Brian to be anything other than a qualified fondling medical professional.

HE HAS HEALING HANDS!"

Have I got the gist there ^^ or do I need to wade through the entire thread and educate myself about my yoni? (if it's the latter, feck you all, can't be arsed, I'm off to bed )

Hubba, I nearly peed when I read that - channel 4 documentary. Aha, it's funny cos it's true!

RebeccaMumsnet, I have to say I smell a fish....do you know THE Brian?

Yeah, my taste in music changed as I grew up

greensleeves is that you?
:o

Oh Yoni, you came and you gave without taking but I sent you away, oh Yoni.

Oh my.. im In the bath laughing.. Possibly a few snorts! pretty sure the boyfriend thinks I have lost the plot well and truely!

Yoni give love a bad name

Alas, no Katy. I am not that yoni, erm lucky

RebeccaMumsnet, I have to say I smell a fish....do you know THE Brian?

There's really no need to slate her personal hygiene

I'm sure her Yoni is as fish free as anyone else's

The Brian that you know - it's tech isn't it? Go on you can tell us, I thought one of those tashes from Movember looked like a Brian.

hey yoni
oh yoni
hey yoni
oh yoni

Hahahaha... Well smelling of fish would be a dead giveaway to being one of Brian clients, I suppose!

Brianswife what do you do while Brian is busy fettling with his clients knicker bacon?

Yoni love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine my yoni needs!

Worra

Good job I didn't have a or a or it would now be adorning my laptop screen

Got to love a good yoni thread. Love mn.

RebeccaMumsnet Did you get the short straw volunteer to run the product test then? I have a spreadsheet of potential volunteers...

You may think £80 sounds a lot, but yoni get what you pay for I have types yoni that many times my phone doesn't try and correct it any more

Hey yoni you're so fine
you're so fine you blow my mind
Hey yoni, hey yoni