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Original poster

Strip club!

645 replies

everythinghappensforareason · 29/03/2013 21:41

So dh has been kicked out back to his Mothers following a night out Saturday, that ended at a strip club, not only that but also paying for a lap dance from a young girl in nothing but a thong. Ive never been so mad, there was 3 of them. It makes me feel sick, he has apologised + claimed he didn't enjoy it one bit, it was worse than he imagined etc. but i just feel like people around me ( his family) Probably think im over reacting, so my question is, what would u do?

OP posts:
SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 03/04/2013 23:43

villagebird - you'll be telling us that we all fake our orgasms next Grin

FloraFox · 03/04/2013 23:48

villagebird I work in the City and I call bullshit. Dollybird? Are you Benny fucking Hill?

villagebird · 03/04/2013 23:49

Fucktidia. Listen of course you dont have to put up with it. Thats fine. Normal. But what you and Countrykitten dont get is that for years gone by and years to come some men are going to love seeing strippers every now and again with their mates. For some men its just a one off. For others its every now and again. They go with their mates for a beer and laugh. What is the problem with it. They are not cheating.

AnitaKnightSavesTheWorld · 03/04/2013 23:50

Villagebird - are you feeling quite ok? You're sounding a little irrational. Why do you feel the need to tell other women to put up and shut up about strip clubs?

They don't have to, you know.

bp300 - as I said earlier, you can't take your own stag night experiences and extrapolate that out into data that says 'all men go to strips clubs.' They don't - but people that do go like to think that.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 03/04/2013 23:53

No villagebird - we can all it cheating if we want. You know why? Because these are our relationships - and we choose where we set the boundaries.

villagebird · 03/04/2013 23:53

Oh FloraFox you just made me piss myself laughing. Yeah we do take the piss out of Benny Fucking Hill and that is where it comes from. ie look at that dolly bird over there with her skirt up her crumpet lol Hows that for Benny Hill humour. Knew someone on here would get it.

I what do you mean you do bullshit. About what ?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 03/04/2013 23:54

Flora - I thought exactly that about the 'dollybird' comment. Oops - slipped back to 70's...

FloraFox · 03/04/2013 23:59

Who is "we"? Bullshit you work in the City.

bp300 · 04/04/2013 00:00

AnitaKnightSavesTheWorld Wed 03-Apr-13 23:50:30
Villagebird - are you feeling quite ok? You're sounding a little irrational. Why do you feel the need to tell other women to put up and shut up about strip clubs?

They don't have to, you know.

bp300 - as I said earlier, you can't take your own stag night experiences and extrapolate that out into data that says 'all men go to strips clubs.' They don't - but people that do go like to think that.
_
Ok take a rough guess. What percentage of women do you think will not have a partner that has gone to a strip club? and what percentage of men have no problem going to a strip club. Do you think the percentages are miraculously the same?
I believe if a survey was done there would be a huge difference in the figures.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/04/2013 00:03

Yes - but how do you extrapolate from that that all men go to strip clubs which was your earlier assertion?

RatPants · 04/04/2013 00:14

I think a lot of men will have gone to a strip club, once or twice as youngsters or as part of a stag party. My dh went as part of a stag when he was about 20 but it's just not a situation he would find himself in now.

It's an experience isn't it but I don't think many men repeat it on a regular basis. Men who have been once or twice before and men who continue to repeat the experience on a regular basis would make all the difference percentage wise.

bp300 · 04/04/2013 00:15

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 04-Apr-13 00:03:50
Yes - but how do you extrapolate from that that all men go to strip clubs which was your earlier assertion?
_
I still stand by that virtually all men would, A vast majority of men wouldn't necessary go there out of choice but in a stag do situation when there is a large group of men in 99.9% of cases they will go along with it and go to the strip club rather than look an idiot in front of their mates. Many of them will then go home and lie to their partners about it. Its not really a peer pressure thing as if it was a trip to a brothel then you would see people clearly disagree with it and not go so its obvious to me that they don't see they are crossing a line with a strip club.

villagebird · 04/04/2013 00:15

FLORAFOX Bullshit I work in the City. How do you work that one out. Been up there since 1985 thanks very much

villagebird · 04/04/2013 00:17

FLORAFOX How about Devonshire Fuking Square. You might find me in Bulls Brothers St. Mary Axe lunch times.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/04/2013 00:18

villagebird - you're making a fool of yourself now.

FloraFox · 04/04/2013 00:23

You talk in cliches, you can't type and your posts make you seem a bit dim. Like you're trying too hard. I can't think what on earth you've been doing there for 28 years.

villagebird · 04/04/2013 00:23

Sarbina you are 100% right. Dont like being accused of lying though. Anyway goodnight everyone.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/04/2013 00:25

Night villagebird.

bp300 - again you're talking about your own personal experience of stag nights and extrapolating that out. I would agree that more men are ok with strip clubs than women (fairly obvious!) but I'm not sure how you can extrapolate from that, and your own stag night experience that 'virtually all men would'.

Is your point that because "virtually all" men go to them, and lie to us about it, we should just accept it?

bp300 · 04/04/2013 00:38

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 04-Apr-13 00:25:44

Is your point that because "virtually all" men go to them, and lie to us about it, we should just accept it?

I'm not saying specifically what you standards people should accept in their own relationship but I think in general there needs to be more honesty with regards what goes on.
I am practically the only one on this thread who will admit that the chances are the OP's husband probably doesn't really think he has done that much wrong otherwise he probably wouldn't have done it, but he doesn't wan't to break up their marriage over it because he loves his wife the same as all the other guys who do the same. I just wan't see more honesty and acceptance that these things go on rather than couples lying.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/04/2013 00:43

There needs to be more honesty maybe.

How about the men you are referring to that are going to strip clubs and then lie about it could stop lying and then their partners could make an honest decision as to whether they want to be with them or not?

Or even better - just stop going to them if they know they're wife doesn't want them leering over other half naked women?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/04/2013 00:44

*their wife

bp300 · 04/04/2013 00:49

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 04-Apr-13 00:43:05
There needs to be more honesty maybe.

How about the men you are referring to that are going to strip clubs and then lie about it could stop lying and then their partners could make an honest decision as to whether they want to be with them or not?

I agree with you but the honesty works both ways. If women are deluding themselves in believing that most men aren't like that then the guy who is honest will get dumped and 6 months lather the ex will be dating some other guy who goes to strip clubs but is lying about it. When one of mates lied to his wife about getting a private dance on his stag do I was genuinely shocked as I had known him a very long time and not known him to lie before.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/04/2013 00:55

Perhaps the men should just stop lying to women then?

Or just stop going? They're not compulsory you know.

Ah, but you don't think they should have to stop going, do you? You think that women should just accept it.

bp300 · 04/04/2013 01:06

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 04-Apr-13 00:55:00
Perhaps the men should just stop lying to women then?

Or just stop going? They're not compulsory you know.

Ah, but you don't think they should have to stop going, do you? You think that women should just accept it.
__
I agree they should stop lying but in reality what would happen is the decent guy who tell the truth would all end up single whereas women would then be more likely to end up marrying a liar. It's not just a case of stopping going though, there are plenty of people on here say they would not be with someone who has been to a strip club before they were together. If that is the standard they want to set that's fine but they need to be fully aware of how many people they are actually ruling out by doing so.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 04/04/2013 01:07

What you are effectively saying to women here is that so many men go to strip clubs, it's really not worth us women objecting. I might dump one bloke for going to a strip club and then go on to another bloke who goes to strip clubs and lies about it?

Then I'll be without both those men then, thank you very much. There is more to life that having a man.

I could never have a relationship with a misogynistic man that went to strip clubs. I don't think misogynists are really capable of good relationships with women, on equal terms. I couldn't be with a man who didn't value me and my opinion as equal to his own.

If he wants to go to strip clubs, then he's not the one for me. If he lies to me about going to strip clubs, then he's not the man I thought he was.

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